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Old 04-07-2010  
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Helmaninquiel's Avatar
 

Default How are anti social people supposed to get jobs??

I have anxiety problems to the point where if I'm getting anxiety my brain just shuts it's self off and that doesn't work with meeting new people.. lets say for a job interview or the people I'm working with. I doubt myself to the point where I make an *** out of myself. Actually I pretty much all the time over think things to the point where I don't do anything. I'm going to end up living with my mom for the rest of my life with no job.

Last edited by Helmaninquiel; 04-07-2010 at 04:07 AM..
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Old 04-13-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

That's what I am currently dealing with in my life. I am unemployed and am unable to be in college for financial reasons. My mom and my sister nag me all the time about it as if I am not trying. I always have a hard time keeping jobs for too long. I fall into heavy depression or anxiety that makes me unable to function. So it's not just the social anxiety but my depression and general anxiety.
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Old 04-14-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

this is a big problem ...

i wouldn't call it anti-social, i think most people want to be social but fear the unknown and perhaps don't beleive they have the skills to take part in certain jobs...i just think the entire system of employment ads and agencies are really screwed up now days especially for graduates, it seems that companies want graduates with years of experience in the industry? and how does that work exactly unless you are lucky enough to have known someone to give you that chance at some random point in your younger days? ...ummm laughs....why bother even going to uni and tafe? (even though it was valuable and a good education, learning experience)...

i can only liken job seeking to what it was like for will smith and the pursuit of happiness, just utterly grueling uncertainty as each day passes earning little money in a low income job...not everyone experiences this..some people get lucky and have more opportunities thrown their way and that gives them experience ...but every person is unique...and so while i've had plenty of experience they have been in fairly forgettable jobs, like kitchenhand/assistant factory worker/filing admin/store associate, shelf stacking....

i have a friend who is the nicest person in the world and very talented but she has not managed to get past dead-end jobs, i mean at least they pay but there is no real future in it...this person seems confident but in terms of being in a job finds it very difficult..

i don't know if its luck, if its the intensity of applications and the effort in applying and preparing well enough for a certain type of job ...perhaps its uncertainty of what specific job is being looked for in the first place...

some people know EXACTLY what they want to do while others have a long list and don't know where to even begin...

on the flipside i've seen people come straight out of high school and found a great career path straight away that they loved ....lucky them ...so it comes down to alot of things..
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Old 04-14-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

I understand how you feel I am also living with my folks.
I think that you have to keep trying. My life has never been where
I get served things on the silver plater. Oh, I have seen it happen
to many around me so many times and I have to continue to struggle.

All I can say is, keep trying and if you make a mistake at work do not
beat yourself up about it. It happens to all. The only difference is
with SA/SA or just anxiety is that people which suffer from it , that,
mistake make at work will kick in or anxiety and our already low self
worth will get hammered by our own constant judging.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Richey View Post
this is a big problem ...
i wouldn't call it anti-social, i think most people want to be social but fear the unknown....
True, but I think from own experience that people with anxiety worry
a lot more. As if each mistake such a person makes at work is a blow
to our already low self worth.
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Old 04-14-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

Under the circumstances of having serious anxiety problems, it's a huge task to get a job, anywhere. From my previous experiences, I found it just as hard to stay in the job. I've only had one job (I'm 19), and now I'm back doing it now I'm on medications, but before, after 3 months I had to take time off due to problems getting out of control. I was losing weight, losing sleep, everything changed. I couldn't deal with anxiety attacks everytime I went in. Last week I returned to work, I feel much better and I have a new mindset. This is due to a second round of CBT, a new mindset and desire, and stable medication (beta blockers - propanolol).

If I wasn't in this situation, I'd find it extremely hard to get a job again. It's mainly the interview process and starting the job. I'd hate it, it'd cause me so many problems. I'd do it all over again if I had to, I'd have to choice but to suck up and get through it. But I understand how it makes somebody feel who suffers with these intense difficulties.
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Old 04-14-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

Theres really nothing anyone here can say to change how you're feeling, but just try to remember anxiety and life are not interchangeable and you shouldnt derive your self worth and identity from the times you feel your most anxious.

Then again what the hell am I talking about, I'm not even sure.
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Old 04-14-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supposed to get jobs??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Richey View Post
...i just think the entire system of employment ads and agencies are really screwed up now days especially for graduates, it seems that companies want graduates with years of experience in the industry? and how does that work exactly unless you are lucky enough to have known someone to give you that chance at some random point in your younger days? ...ummm laughs....why bother even going to uni and tafe? (even though it was valuable and a good education, learning experience)...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helmaninquiel View Post
I have anxiety problems to the point where if I'm getting anxiety my brain just shuts it's self off and that doesn't work with meeting new people.. lets say for a job interview or the people I'm working with. I doubt myself to the point where I make an *** out of myself. Actually I pretty much all the time over think things to the point where I don't do anything. I'm going to end up living with my mom for the rest of my life with no job.
I'm a combination of the both of you. The interview process is knocking what little self confidence I had out of me. The knock backs are making me feel worthless and are hugely depressing.

I suppose you just gotta keep at it. Like everyone keeps saying, it'll be ok in the end
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Old 04-14-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

There's a lot of little things that I've changed recently. And I hope it stays that way.

One thing that I know is that if you think like that, YOU WILL END UP THAT WAY.

Nothing is going to change. Trust me. I felt the way you do now.



___________

One day I woke up and realized that I would rather be dead than to have, at the very least, not tried at all.
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Old 04-18-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

Quote:
I'm going to end up living with my mom for the rest of my life with no job.
Not going to happen, sorry, unless your mom is wealthy

Search internet for repetitive invasive thoughts, there are ways to work around it and replace imagined reality by actions. Even if your choices will be less than some other people, find something to make some income, even stuffing shelves at supermarket or making something and selling it online.

Unless you are wealthy and do not have to work for a living.
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Old 04-19-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

I feel the same. I had a chat with my careers advisor and was stuck for words what job would be good for me? I didnt have a clue.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
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Old 04-19-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

I'm also on the jobhunt atm. It's no fun, I don't know what I want to do and I don't like the look of most of the jobs in the paper. I also feel there is great pressure to get a job, from friends, family, society etc. I think some people don't fully appreciate how hard it is with SA.
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Old 04-19-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

when you get a new job, the first week is exponentially harder for your anxiety than everything afterward. so just think, yes, the first week is going to be hell on earth, but it wont always be that way soon you'll just be bored out of your mind like everyone else. it might be fear of the unknown thats wearing on you and the newness of it, but it wont always be new.

Lying awake, calculating the future,
trying to unweave, unwind, unravel
and piece together the past and the future
between midnight and dawn, when the past is
all deception,
the future, futureless...T.S. Eliot
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Old 04-19-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

I dont know. Just keep trying? The more you try the more chance you have. Spam those employers with your resume.
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Old 05-16-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

I have a problem with things shutting down. Sometimes my thoughts cut out, other times it's my vision or sense of self in my left side. This problem causes a multitude of social problems and i find people cannot read who i am from my facial expressions and reactions. It took me a long time, but i eventually found a doctor that understood a bit about it. It is a sensory integration problem. Anyrate, the doctor gave my ailment a label, but was otherwise of no use.
Over the years i have found a few things that help. First i realised that anti-histamines help, probably by reducing neurological inflamation. Next, i found fatty acids help, especially the Omega 3 essential fatty acids. Linseed are a good source.
Now for the past three years i have been trying to find the origin of my problems. I now think i know. It is very likely that the origin is mold and the various mycotoxins some species produce. Some of the aspillergus mold produce upto three neurotoxins. Having been brought up on a farm i am sure i had very high exposure to molds and there spores.
Not sure if this is of any help to you, but it might be.
Mold Help is a charity that has a website with some information on mold issues. It is fairly informative, but i still had to visit Biotech websites to find some of the information on mycotoxins.
My health has improved a bit, but the people i work with are a nightmare; they just don't understand!
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Old 05-16-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

Luckily I knew my manager before I had the job I work now. That made the interview go a lot easier. I was still in a panic the night before, I remember, but I can be proud of myself for going through it and still having a job

One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain.
-Bob Marley
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Old 05-16-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jannah View Post
That's what I am currently dealing with in my life. I am unemployed and am unable to be in college for financial reasons. My mom and my sister nag me all the time about it as if I am not trying. I always have a hard time keeping jobs for too long. I fall into heavy depression or anxiety that makes me unable to function. So it's not just the social anxiety but my depression and general anxiety.
Evey single bit of that sounds familiar.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxaimsxx View Post
I feel the same. I had a chat with my careers advisor and was stuck for words what job would be good for me? I didnt have a clue.
This is familiar too. People ask what I want to do or what I like and there's absolutely nothing I enjoy. They then look at me funny.

Maybe if I could get a job sleeping...it's the closest I come to enjoying anything.
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Old 05-16-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

You mean "asocial" not "anti-social". Anti-social means psychopathic or sociopathic, while asocial just means you aren't talkative.
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Old 05-17-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

I don't know. I wish there was something we could do where we aren't dealing with people face to face or on the phone. I have lost almost all of my jobs because I couldn't keep up the act anymore; pretending to be super happy all the time. I am really good at what I do, I just cannot deal with the people. Via email, I do just fine. I am looking into retraining to become a system administrator or network administrator so I deal mostly with equipment and much fewer and more techno-geeky people like myself.
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Old 05-17-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

Sometimes I hear people trying to explain something I already know and they just can't seem to explain it well, so I think to myself "omg, why won't he just say it, I'd explain it way better". Of course, when I do the talking I'm as bad, or even worse than those people.

**** sucks, but I'm trying not to give much atention to it.



The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche


So, if anyone wants to talk, message me, I'm (almost) always in the mood
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Old 05-17-2010  
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Default Re: How are anti social people supost to get jobs??

I have alot of issues with jobs. I have a couple, the longest have been on campus jobs that I didnt have to do more then like 2 hours a day. I had one job where I was up all night at a hotel, I did fine for a while, but I was working like 25-30 hours a week, and I just couldnt handle it in the end, I cracked, and quit on the spot. I still feel bad about that one too, because they needed me and I just quit. I am horrible with customer service jobs, and avoid those all I can.
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