How are you feeling?

MikeyC

Well-known member
Sort of minor panic attack I think, haven't had one of those for years. Sitting here worrying about my heart again.
I'm feeling weird. I think I'm having a few bad days and they are going worse again. I feel better from time to time but then I go back down. Very lonely.
I feel unimportant, superfluous, and like a waste of space. I feel alone, like no one wants me around. It feels like the greatest contribution I could make to the world would be to decorate this wall with my brain. Oddly enough, I'm okay with it; before I fell asleep, I felt very depressed about it, but, now, it doesn't seem to be a problem. I've accepted the truth. I just wonder if I can go through with it. Probably not. Well, this feeling will go away. Eventually.
Like I really just need to cease to exist. Now. But that isn't going to happen. The torment is pretty bad lately. I wish I had something to pull me through it.

Well, I guess I have the Internet. And my family.
A little manic. Hoping I don't wake up with another anxiety attack tonight!!!
One hug for AsTimeBurns.
One hug for MrJones.
One hug for DeadmanWalking.
One hug for Tally_Lyra.
One hug for Absolutely_Sweet_Marie.

All 5 of you rule. I hate it when you feel like this.
 
And a hug for MikeyC for being so awesome and supportive. And then maybe a chest bump? ;)

As usual, I have stayed up all night surfing the interweb. I watched about an hour's worth of bloopers from Friends and my sides hurt. I think I'm going to call it a night.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
One chest bump for superfluouslyme. :)

EDIT: And one hug for Srijita. You're the rockin' one around here.
 
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bcsr

Well-known member
Slightly better than yesterday. But still pretty bad. I really don't know what is triggering the depression, but the last few days it's been pretty severe. I haven't felt suicidal like this in years.

Nothing significant has changed... just hoping it passes soon.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I'm not really feeling too good. Something in particular is getting to me a bit, but hey, I've been here a million times before. I'm almost becoming 'hardened' to it... I think.

I guess if there's something good about feeling a bit rubbish it's that my anxiety disappears a bit, in that I feel more able to take more risks... 'nothing to lose' kind of thing. If that makes any sense. So, yes, I think I'll accept my invitation to go out this afternoon with these new people, when normally my anxiety says 'hmm no, just stay in'.

There's good and bad in all of this, I guess. Yes I feel very sad about what's happened but I need to keep moving and discover new things...populate my mind with more things to think about until maybe things will get better.

Meh.
Stupid weather doesn't help either, wind, cold and rain - worst combo.

I hope you feel better soon. Bad things happen sometimes but we shouldn't let them stop us from having new experiences. Stay strong *hugs*
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I'm not really feeling too good. Something in particular is getting to me a bit, but hey, I've been here a million times before. I'm almost becoming 'hardened' to it... I think.
If you want to chat about whatever this is, my inbox is free.

I do know you're "nothing to lose" attitude, and that's a blessing in disguise for going out. I hope that, despite not feeling the best, you have a wonderful time out. Also boo to the weather.

Slightly better than yesterday. But still pretty bad. I really don't know what is triggering the depression, but the last few days it's been pretty severe. I haven't felt suicidal like this in years.

Nothing significant has changed... just hoping it passes soon.
Yeah, that sucks. ::(: Deep breaths and chocolate. That's all you need. Stay strong, my friend.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Slightly better than yesterday. But still pretty bad. I really don't know what is triggering the depression, but the last few days it's been pretty severe. I haven't felt suicidal like this in years.

Nothing significant has changed... just hoping it passes soon.

Its hard to say, sometimes many little things that we are'nt even aware of contribute to depression. I hope it passes soon too. Hang in there.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Thanks guys. I just need to keep busy I guess/reduce the time available to think. Mikey, I may take you up on your kind offer at some point. Will see how I get on today.
You're welcome to do it any time. Reducing time to think helps a lot. Stay busy and focused and you'll be okay. :)
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Utterly miserable. My insomnia and depression are just getting worse. ::(: Feeling isolated and cynical as per usual. Starting to doubt I'll get the help I really need, counseling is yet to start. ::(:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
It sucks that the counseling hasn't started yet.

I know. It's beyond frustrating. ::(: This site will just have to do until things start getting better. And I'm not too optimistic about that happening, either. Considering the way things have been going for me lately...
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I know. It's beyond frustrating. ::(: This site will just have to do until things start getting better. And I'm not too optimistic about that happening, either. Considering the way things have been going for me lately...
I hope things get better and if you ever feel the need to talk to someone my inbox is always open.
 

Gaucho

Well-known member
bad, i gave up trying to be social, the days just go by, and I'm waiting for the vacation. it will be like a relieve. I don't think university is for me, but on the other hand it could be the best time of my life if i hadn't have SA and depression and all my other mental illnesses. I don't know what to do, i know if i continue, things will be the same over years, it can only change if i go to therapy. but damn.
 

Boby

Well-known member
bad, i gave up trying to be social, the days just go by, and I'm waiting for the vacation. it will be like a relieve. I don't think university is for me, but on the other hand it could be the best time of my life if i hadn't have SA and depression and all my other mental illnesses. I don't know what to do, i know if i continue, things will be the same over years, it can only change if i go to therapy. but damn.

Don't give up so easily,you just started your university...try get yourself together this summer vacation.You still have time to get on the right road.
 
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