Pressure over the chest, rushing heartbeats and a high beat almost constantly, pains over chest and heart, shaking knees, shaking body, sudden senses of panic and not knowing where to go, throat closing up when you're trying to drink water, almost constant stomach aches especially when eating, food not tasting any longer and is hard to just keep down, feeling nausea, hyperventilating, trouble breathing, getting the sudden feeling of throwing up despite never doing it normally, not finding anything enjoyable anymore, pointing a knife around your face and neck wishing you were brave enough to actually cut it all up, being in a tired mood all the time, exhausted, not finding the need to do anything and just going along wasting time and waiting, prolonging things you need to do, being hardly able to see a difference between things that needs to be done and things you're supposed to enjoy, the things you like are only a tool to kill time but don't mean anything else and your thoughts are still there anyhow, standing at a crossroad not knowing where to turn, intimidated, hateful, jealous of people, the sense that everyone that sees you either hates you or makes fun of you, everyone is superior and will always be better then you, having no self-esteem because there is nothing there anyways, feeling that there's no worth to you whatsoever, and will never be, not being able to sleep at night lying awake breaking out into sweats and chest pains, having nightmares about people hating you and telling you how bad and worthless you are, waking up early for no apparent reason and start instantly thinking leading to more sweat and chest-pains, being on the edge all the time and having stomach aches, chest pains and fast heartbeats over most things usually followed of feeling worthless, feeling that every second is wasted, feeling that everything is grey and will always be in your world, feeling trapped and whatever you do it won’t work, there is no use in anything, everything making you nervous, feeling worthless, exhausted or terrified, seeing the rest of your horrible and useless life being ahead of you.
I wonder what this indicates.
:bigsmile:
