How are you feeling?

Ah really hud a lotta hope when this year began... Ah thought things would change for the better. But nah! Just more of tha same.

Feel like I'm trapped, really. Stuck in a unhealthy, broken, dysfunctional family relationship with people who ah should've distance masel' fae years ago. But ah'm talked intae sticking around for someone else's sake. It's turns oot ah dinnae git a great deal of say in the matters that affect me in ma family.

So, ah'll just continue secretly suffering until ah cannae taek much mair uh this... Everything ends eventually, right?

I hate getting addicted to fb to see what someone is doing. This time this person post a lot and I reply to somethibg that would deserve and like at least if not a comment. Yet they havent said anythibg to me and thwy keep posting stuff at least everyobe hour tagging people in the post...
I'll never deserve or be interesting enough to be tagged in a few post by someone I like... I always show affection to others and I cant ever get the same back.

*Thump!* :sad:

How stupid of me to believe you can climb up the ladder when 98% of rungs are missing.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

I'm trying to keep my mind off my stomach ache right now. I took a Tums to try to soothe it, so I'm just waiting for it to do its job now. Its my own fault though. I cooked charro beans and added hamburger meat and sausage to them, then ate three pretty large bowls of it because I liked the way it turned out and I was being greedy.

That feeling when you get rejected by McDonalds, KFC and Coles.. :crying:
I didn't even get offered an interview.

squidgee said:

That feeling when you get rejected by McDonalds, KFC and Coles.. :crying:
I didn't even get offered an interview.

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My brother is studying a master's degree in computer science and was rejected from night work at Coles.

Don't give up, mate!

I watched Dawn of the Planet of the Apes for the first time a while ago. I'd been wanting to see it for a while and thought it was pretty good, although I did keep glaring angrily at the screen at points because of Koba. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next though.

Other than feeling a little bored now and slightly concerned, I guess I'm doing alright.

Can't fall much farther.

GraybeardGhost said:

Can't fall much farther.

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Ah know the feelin'. Ye gonnae be awright, though?

How um ah feelin', eh...? True be telt, ah dinnae see masel' bein' aroon much longer. Because ah huv tried tae hing on in there, hoped things would change but they never dae.

Ma family'd rather remain ignorant tae ma daily struggle. Aparently ah brung it aw on masel' thus deserve tae be miserable. That's ma mum's view anyway - compassion, it's great, innit? : Sad:

I'm a bad person.

Ah don't know... Guess, ah just, partly, want tae git over with an' just f**kin' die. Since me leavin' the family home isn't what they (my family) want. What I want an' my well-being doesnae really matter in the long-term? It's not easy smiling when you feel like crap most of the time.

squidgee said:

That feeling when you get rejected by McDonalds, KFC and Coles.. :crying:
I didn't even get offered an interview.

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Don't feel bad squidgee, they have soooo many unemployed to choose from right now they can take the best of the best. It has nothing to do with you mate, if unemployment was not at a 12 year high, I am sure you would have got an interview. Good luck with your jobsearch.:thumbup:

GraybeardGhost said:

Can't fall much farther.

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awww, :sad: (((Hugs))) Graybeard. Hang in there.

Graeme1988 said:

I'm a bad person.

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I totally and utterly object to that, Graeme. You are far, far from it. It seems more like your family are just very unappreciative of you!

BlueDays said:

I totally and utterly object to that, Graeme. You are far, far from it.

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D'ye really...? Ah don't coz ah um - ah'm an arsehole. Fact, end of.

Also, according to my mum, she an' the rest of my family don't like being around me because I say horrible things. Ah did point oot that if ah left home ah'd be outta their lives. But, naw, can have that, mum says. Why because she needs me. Aw, isn't that nice. And I'm a c*nt for sayin' she's selfish.

Aye, today, ah accidently made a joke when my mum said my sister was coming round to get me outta the house an' if I wanted to go, I said sarcastically, it just came oot: "Aye, why no'? It'll make a change from our usual enlightening conversations" Ah said "Sorry" immediately after sayin' coz ah realised it cut deep an' felt guilty. But apparently it counts for eff all!

I'm still the bad guy. I even had the nerve to ask her if it was all an act - this cold, distant, inconsiderate, uncompassionate, cruel, bitter, angry feminist rountine? But I just got the what has become common place: "Ah don't know" I always get when asking a question my mum which require she give her opinion. My mum'll never change now, too set in her way. And she doesn't care. She said as much, and I'll just leave it at that.

BlueDays said:

It seems more like your family are just very unappreciative of you!

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That's just how they are. Change is just pennies tae them. Sorry, gag reflex! :bigsmile: Sorry, writin' jokes seem to be tha only 'hing I'm actually good at.

Sometimes ye don't appreciate what you have until it's gone. Ooops, f**k! That sounds like ah'm aboot kick tha chair oot fae under me. I'm not... Yet, anyway.

Sorry, I'm just in a tha happiest o' mind right now.

Being different sucks - ah mean, why couldn't ah huv just been born an idiot? Those people seem happiest tae me, y'know? They're easily amused, immature an' didnae think much, or at all.

Ate too many cheez its. So not feeling too good.

Now I'm having whiskey mixed with cheap, flat ginger ale I bought around Christmas time :|

^all of those things mixed together seems like a recipe for disaster

MollyBeGood said:

^all of those things mixed together seems like a recipe for disaster

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It haint good. But nobody's fault but my own. :sad::thumbup: