How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh, the usual, y'know? Just wonder whit da f**k ah did to deserve this shite, miserable existence. :kickingmyself: Wanting it to end, wanting things to be better.

I'm fed-up with huvin to keep the peace aw the time, being contradicted and 2nd guessed. Made to feel like a feckin' retard by dumb c*^%$ who are somehow dumber than me. Being telt to be nice by family who irriate me, yet whenever they tell me tae:

"Be nice, now..." My gut reaction is: "Och, just f**k off, would ye!" :mad:​

Or ah'll sum it up in question:

Huv ye ever living with someone who make ya so buckin' angry, you've hud vision o' shoving them doon a flight o' stairs and hoped they crack their heid off the banister? Just me, then? :question:​
 
defiance

defiance

Well-known member
My existence is a daily reminder of what a failure I am. To others, I represent time wasted because they spent so much time and energy raising me and hoping I could be somebody who could go out into the real world and make something of themselves. However since that is not the case, they see me as a representation of their failure hence why they get angry and depressed when they see me or talk to or about me. I am a source of pain not just to myself but to others as well. I don't know why I haven't killed myself yet. Can anyone else relate to this?
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I'd like to go home, but there is no home in this world for someone like me. My home was lost decades ago.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Urrgh! What is it with Pakistian folk that they insist they're always right? Africans are bad for that as well.
That sounds slightly racist, ah know. But it's a fact...

Just askin' cuz some Cockney c^%* of Asian decent has been pestering me on eBay to resolve an issue with software ah'd sent 'em. That s no word for him. And daft, doolally eejit has only gone and declined ma refund offer. Naw, this fella want it feckin' sorted... now!

Trying to get my account banned for not helping, ah offered a effin' refund! Though, me sending that angry response to him the other day would've got me banned. Thankfully ah phrased in more civil terms. But still...

Whit mair d'they want? A new laptop? Ah still stand by ma prevously post - ah hate people! Unless yer nice to me, then yer awrite. A decent c*^%" as it were.
The rest cun away n' shag yerselves fur aw ah care.

Sorry, I'm in a really shite mood the day - as if ye couldnae tell. :kickingmyself:
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Kiwong said:
I'd like to go home, but there is no home in this world for someone like me. My home was lost decades ago.
Click to expand...

Aside from being on the other side of the world, I'm right there with you. I guess we have to make our own homes, if we can find the right kind of place. How we're supposed to do that, however, I couldn't say. :idontknow:
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Remorseful, ashamed, disgusted with myself. I ****ed up again today—not the worst ever, not by far, but bad enough. I wish I could learn how to stop hurting myself, but this has been going on for more than thirty years, and at this point I suspect there's really only one way to put an end to it once and for all. I've done so much damage that I'll never have anything like a normal life again anyway, you know what I mean? Nothing left for me but a slow downward slide to the grave. Why wait?
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Pissed off that my family choose not to take me seriously, and instead, ignore my anxiety and depression, and make a joke of it. F**kin' cheers, eh. That makes me feel so much better, it really does. Knowing my family see me as a joke. :sad:

Who's the insensitive, inconsiderate c*^$ in my family again? Awrite, it's me innit? :kickingmyself:

A "normal" would be genuinely concerned for a family member who strugglin'. Not me, ah get fobbed off with the usual patronising pish of being telt I'm soo brave to just grin and bare it. When ah dinnae exactly huv any other option. What with my family being more concerned with themselves than the fact I'm barely keepin' it together on the inside.

But apparently I'm just faking it for attention and using my anxiety as an excuse to avoid doing anything. Gee... I wonder why tha f**k I want to move away from my family? :thinking: :thumbdown:
 
defiance

defiance

Well-known member
Is it weird that despite what I feel there is a small part of me that says something great is soon coming my way that will rid me of all this. That life will be phenomenal and it will never be bad again. Or is this proof of how desperate I am for a miracle?
 
Louco

Louco

Well-known member
I can't think straight for a while now, which makes communication in a second language even harder. I look at the stuff I write here and I wonder if it makes sense, if I'm not making all kinds of grammar mistakes, if the expressions mean what I think they mean...
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Louco said:
I can't think straight for a while now, which makes communication in a second language even harder. I look at the stuff I write here and I wonder if it makes sense, if I'm not making all kinds of grammar mistakes, if the expressions mean what I think they mean...
Click to expand...

Don't worry, I do this as well. Both in terms of not thinking straight, and the whole grammar issue. Half the time, I'll spend ages making sure I phrased something right. Then ah wonder how everyone'll react. Is ma point? How am I coming across? ...And so on.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
So weighed down.

Life should not be THIS HARD.

Why is Nembutal so restricted in Western developed countries?

It is only acceptable if you want to make an animal/pet deceased, in a pain free and peaceful way.
But if a human wants to become deceased in a pain free and peaceful way, no! you are not allowed to do that! :thumbdown:

You can get it online from overseas, but then you risk getting an impure version of it that could make you very sick but not do the job. Then that could get very messy. :sad:
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
GraybeardGhost said:
Aside from being on the other side of the world, I'm right there with you. I guess we have to make our own homes, if we can find the right kind of place. How we're supposed to do that, however, I couldn't say. :idontknow:
Click to expand...

I don't know either, Greybeard. I'm looking towards retirement now and hopefully being able to find somewhere away from people except for close family. I'm not sure if I can survive that long.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
defiance said:
Is it weird that despite what I feel there is a small part of me that says something great is soon coming my way that will rid me of all this. That life will be phenomenal and it will never be bad again. Or is this proof of how desperate I am for a miracle?
Click to expand...
That's called feeling hopeful. Believing there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Knowing that all things pass.
When i'm down in the dumps, i often have moments where i feel hopeful i can escape the misery (even if it's not likely).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top