How are you feeling?

LossSleep

Member
I am not at all feeling well since some time I look like a lifeless person...I barely sleep and I ccan't figure out what to do...my friends told me that I looked like a zombie :( !!
 

ozkr

Well-known member
I'm feeling hopeless and confused. there used to be things that made me feel like my life would get better but I don't see those things very often anymore.
 

thumbs

Member
Disappointed with myself. So positive these last few days and then a visit to the doctor's surgery because of some pains and went to pieces really. Damn.
 
Well, that's life. And if you don't like it, you know what to do... :twisted: .....

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
 

Starry

Well-known member
I'm feeling great! :D

Proud of myself lol.. I managed to send two live voice clips via MSN to my best online friend. :D (Who is also the only person I trust enough to actually have MSN conversations with, I've never given anyone else my MSN address lol.) I hyperventilated, shook and turned bright red after, but he appreciated it. :D So, even though I was scared I'm actually proud of myself Yay! lol :D

It's nice to feel proud of oneself once in a while. It makes a nice contrast to continually hating oneself for being useless.
 

pjam376

Member
lost hope

I was a member on here before, but lost all my info since I moved across the country about 8 months ago for a job. Haven't been on since due to work and life.

Anyway recently i was terminated from my job. I've been terminated in the past because I don't always socialize with the management or other co-workers. I go in, do my job well, work long and hard, then go home. Not always a good thing in today's world. Never a good thing when new management comes in and wants to know who you are since most people don't know you. THey just know you work on so and so and have never had a problem with him.
I've been praised in the past by management and co-workers but as time goes on, a quiet co-worker isn't somebody people praise.

Anyway, this latest termination wasn't really because of me. Well, maybe it was, at least I think that way sometimes, but there is no evidence that says that. I came in to do IT project on a 12+ month contract. I was the architect, lead, mentor, designer, and everything. The people were friendly enough and liked to share their lives. I was comfortable and did my job and felt I had a purpose. I learned many things and was getting things done. But the one manager thought the project was a 3 month project while the other manager said it was a 12 month project. At one meeting the one manager said it had to be kept on the down low because he did something with the budgets to bring me in since the company wasn't planning on hiring or bringing in help.

Anyway, another worker was a scheduler/planner or other projects. The one manager got him involved to write out this huge plan to prove what was needed, how long, and so on. It seemed like a great idea. Prove to upper management that this is indeed a complicated project and with a manager/scheduler on board from another department it would look good. That and the one manager kept asking for a realistic plan and schedule.

So it turns out it should be a 2 year plan. I could get it done in a year but the one manager told me to get it right, train those who would maintain it when i was done and take the 2 years. I was happy. So we showed the plan to the higher level manager and he really liked it. He didn't like how it was 2 years, but it was professional and somebody from another department who was well respected helped with the plan, so it got more respect.

So about a week and a half later, I felt good. I finished a few more things, deployed them, tested them and then expected to go to a meeting with the one manager and spread what I did. But the meeting was canceled. It was a normal update, tell me what's going on meeting and I figured the manager had other important things to do since he sort of kept up to date anyway. I finished a few more things and was way ahead of schedule like i knew I would be. I went home for the weekend.

Monday I come in and a few minutes after I sit down to get started on the next part, the higher level manager comes over and asks to meet with me. Not sure why, I thought maybe they were going to hire me full on, but I doubted it since they really didn't budget for me as a contractor. There was another thing though. The previous night I had a dream that I had to find a job within 5 days. I woke up and ignored that because in the past, since I rarely talked, that was always a problem. But this job, I talked, i interacted, and did my best and people seemed to at least like me at work. I wasn't the weird quiet guy.

So the manager tells me they are canceling the project, going in a different direction, and terminating my contract. At first I didn't really understand, i guess I did, but didn't believe it. I do what I normally do, brush it off, act like everything is ok, and move on. My last day would be Friday. Wow 5 days away.

I contacted people I sort of knew in the past, posted my resume did many things. Had a few interviews but nothing good. A company even flew me across the country on their dime and put me up in a hotel for an interview. But they didn't hire me. Seems my communication skills aren't up to par.. Kind of real bad since i was the only US English speaking candidate. Kind of depressing actually. The company i was contracting for had another opportunity about 2500 miles away but I had to pay for relocation and everything. Like I said I just moved 3000+ miles and it was no guarantee I'd get that job.

So in a market where they say most IT people have jobs, I have none and in all honesty, am tired. It seems regardless of what I do to improve, every six months I'm out of a job. Then it takes me 6 months to find a job. And in that time I go broke. Hard to save money when you only work 6 months out of the year and not by choice.

I try to improve my IT skills. I learn new things. I try to interact and speak more. But in the end nothing seems to work. I'm always back at square one with no job, no money and a day or two away from living on the street.

So how do i feel?

Right now I'm about a week or two from actually living on the street and I don't have any hope for a job or interview. I've exhausted the few of my contacts, I've posted my resume online, I contacted companies directly and in the end, as I said in another post, I guess I'm useless.
 

louieann34

Well-known member
I feel sleepy today, and my seat mate also feels the same...I really wish I could get a good night sleep but can't do that....I have to work first and finish my task.
 

thumbs

Member
Well, that's life. And if you don't like it, you know what to do... .....

JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!

Sorry kiddy, I have no desire to suicide. Your mother on the otherhand... :cry:
 

maggie

Well-known member
SPW_Antagonist said:
Well, that's life. And if you don't like it, you know what to do... :twisted: .....

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
this frustrates me..i just don't get it..there are so many of us (including myself) that have endured years of belittling, mental abuse, physical abuse that 'helped' us be in the spot we are today, and that's most likely the reason for our phobias and anxieties. While i do understand the reasoning behind "ignore the troll and it will go away" and i don't really know the history behind why this person was so pissed off in the first place, i do know that i can't think of one good solid reason why to keep these posts and not delete them, or whatever! The post i quoted was only one in a group of many belittling, abusive and hurtful, ridiculous posts that remain in the forums! Why :?: The people on this site have suffered enough fuckin bullshit like this in our real lives, could someone please tell me why these posts still remain? And the person who posted them? Why would you come on here and 'kick a man while he's down'? Man, that's nothing to be proud of....fuck :evil:
 

louieann34

Well-known member
I'm Feel'n good today....I'm a little tired but, this is the last day of work and the next day would be holiday..So I'm kinnda ok.
 

sickofbeinglonely

Well-known member
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: BETRAYED....DECEIVED....UNLOVED......UNWANTED.......ALONE.....LONELY.....INSECURE....SUICIDAL.....DEPRESSED......HOPELESS.....FORGIVING......HURT...TORTURE...HARM...PAIN...MISERY...SORROW....INNER HELL....

IM BOUND BY DEMONS
CARRIED BY THE GRACE OF GOD
HELP ME GOD

IM ALSO AFRAID OF THIS SITE. :cry: :cry:

Sorry to read that you feel so low, Fluffy. If it's any consolation, though, I can totally relate to your post as I've been suffering major depression on and off since the start of this year. :cry:

I've thought about posting here a few times but I'm very hesitant about posting online. :? This is the first time I've posted here this year. I have some days or weeks where I don't feel too bad but most of the time I feel hopeless and miserable and that I've nothing to live for. :cry: I know I wouldn't harm myself but I sometimes wish I would die in my sleep.

For me, it's been made worse by the fact that I've lost several friends over the last couple of years. One of my close friends died in February 2006 and others have either dropped me or fallen out with me.

Most of my remaining friends or people I know are in relationships. I don't envy them as some really deserved to find someone but I do often wish I could meet a woman. I've kept on holding out some hope of finding someone through sites like NoLongerLonely. But this, more than anything, has reinforced my feelings of rejection as no matter how many friendly messages I send out I receive next to nothing in return. :eek: The few women I did exchange emails with over the months dropped me and have continued to ignore me. :roll: I feel a relationship is not going to happen now. :cry:

I don't understand why you're afraid of this site though, Fluffy, as I know a lot of people on here like you and wish you well. :) These trolls posting shit don't help though. :x I've seen some of the posts and I agree with Maggie that they should be deleted.

So I don't know what else to say except I know what it's like to feel hopeless. :cry:
 

Ry

New member
Like I'm in a hole that I keep digging myself deeper into each day. I barely talk to anyone anymore, and when I do I come off as mean. I'm worried about whether I'll be able to deal with people once, and if, I actually start working. I haven't left the house in over a week and I think I'm developing agoraphobia.

So, not good.
 

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
I think i have carpultunnel

I think I ve gotten carpultunnel. I think maby Ive been online too much or something. Its verry painful but goes away if I take breaks from the computer. Besides that I feel pretty good.
 

_oba_

Member
I want to live so badly. Yet I couldn't take it anymore. The feelings, they are just unbearable. Maybe I should just sleep. Maybe it would get better. Aaaaarrrrrrggggg :cry:
 
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