Well to be honest I know I am feeling depressed once again... what's new right? In all honestly I feel like I can't speak freely, and I have to hold back allot of what's on my mind, because if I speak my mind. I upset others, and push people away. It's kind of like when someone asks you: "How are you doing?" which is mainly just an accepted way of greeting others. If you actually tell them how you are really feeling, they really don't want to hear it. So you just say: "I am doing well, thank you for asking, how about you?...", because that is what they want to hear.
I also fear that I am going to die before I ever get a girl friend, and that fact is making me very depressed. Have you ever wanted something so much, and yet it seems so unreachable? It gets so overwhelming at times thinking about what it is that I desire, that I can't do anything but sit here feeling sorry for myself and cry uncontrollably. I feel helpless to change this. I am tired of feeling this way. I just feel like I have been given a task without any knowledge and tools to be able to do this assigned task. Just not knowing how to do it with what tools I have. It is just so overwhelming in my mind, that I give up before I can even try. I'm too old, too fat, and too ugly anyways... Nobody wants a mess like me...
Okay, must snap out of it... Shake it off, it meant nothing.. Try to think of something else... This is so darn hard... Think happy thoughts.... Children playing in a field of daisy's... I'll be alright... It just takes time to rebound. <sigh>
Re: how are you feeling today?
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