aloneloner
Active member
I cant afford a therapist, I have no one close to me that I can talk to...
I have no hope to get any help, this is the only place i can get this out...
i hear voices in my head... ive heard that schizophrenics often hear voices in their head, but never thought i had schizophrenia.. I've only ever heard of them having "violent" voices, but my voices are just "criticism"
and my voices correspond to people around me. like I'll be walking down the street and a car will drive past, I'll "hear" the driver saying i look like a weirdo, but i know even if they did say anything there is no way i could hear them. Its always short and vague, like "creep", "weirdo", "crazy"
This goes on constantly, its the worst when I'm right outside my house, I feel like my neighbors are at their windows watching me and their voices just cloud my head and its debilitating. its not too bad around strangers if I think I will never see them again, but it effects all relations with people.. I'm constantly seeking approval from people..I dont know what people are actually thinking about me, but I assume its mostly negative, I realize this and have mostly just tried ignoring it for now, I have some debt i need to get rid of, so my bosses approval is more important for now, but I still try to keep my coworkers from completely hating me. I try to always be nice to people, I see no reason to be mean to anyone.
with all the criticism in my head, I dont think anyone could ever like or accept me...
I recently starting talking to a girl at work, mostly just small talk, but she is leaving for another job soon. She knows I'm looking for a side job to get rid of my debt quicker and she said her brother might be able to help me out, she said I wouldn't want her brother to text me so she gave me her number... I texted her so she had my number and she texted back saying to keep in touch after she leaves this job
I'm not sure what to do here.. I like her, but can she like someone like me? she seems to, but I tend to put on an act to get people to accept me, she probably just likes the actor, not me. we haven't seen each other outside of work, I'm not even sure what she expects by me "keeping in touch", I don't have friends, I don't hang out with people...I've been overthinking it now but maybe she thinks I'm crazy and just wants to see how I'll react to her acting like she likes me.
Part of me just wants to ignore it and just focus on getting out of debt, with my problems I've kinda just accepted that I'll always be alone, but I'm still hopeful, unfortunately
I have no hope to get any help, this is the only place i can get this out...
i hear voices in my head... ive heard that schizophrenics often hear voices in their head, but never thought i had schizophrenia.. I've only ever heard of them having "violent" voices, but my voices are just "criticism"
and my voices correspond to people around me. like I'll be walking down the street and a car will drive past, I'll "hear" the driver saying i look like a weirdo, but i know even if they did say anything there is no way i could hear them. Its always short and vague, like "creep", "weirdo", "crazy"
This goes on constantly, its the worst when I'm right outside my house, I feel like my neighbors are at their windows watching me and their voices just cloud my head and its debilitating. its not too bad around strangers if I think I will never see them again, but it effects all relations with people.. I'm constantly seeking approval from people..I dont know what people are actually thinking about me, but I assume its mostly negative, I realize this and have mostly just tried ignoring it for now, I have some debt i need to get rid of, so my bosses approval is more important for now, but I still try to keep my coworkers from completely hating me. I try to always be nice to people, I see no reason to be mean to anyone.
with all the criticism in my head, I dont think anyone could ever like or accept me...
I recently starting talking to a girl at work, mostly just small talk, but she is leaving for another job soon. She knows I'm looking for a side job to get rid of my debt quicker and she said her brother might be able to help me out, she said I wouldn't want her brother to text me so she gave me her number... I texted her so she had my number and she texted back saying to keep in touch after she leaves this job
I'm not sure what to do here.. I like her, but can she like someone like me? she seems to, but I tend to put on an act to get people to accept me, she probably just likes the actor, not me. we haven't seen each other outside of work, I'm not even sure what she expects by me "keeping in touch", I don't have friends, I don't hang out with people...I've been overthinking it now but maybe she thinks I'm crazy and just wants to see how I'll react to her acting like she likes me.
Part of me just wants to ignore it and just focus on getting out of debt, with my problems I've kinda just accepted that I'll always be alone, but I'm still hopeful, unfortunately