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Old 03-15-2008  
Intermediate User

Default How do I learn to like people?

I really do hate being so bitter and angry towards people in general, because I am a nice, caring person. But, for my 31 years on earth so far, i've had to deal with nothing but neglectful, uncaring, stupid and disrespectful people. Yes, there have been a couple of nice people, but 95% of them, not. I have a hard enough time trying to live my life mostly alone, and when it comes to dealing with people who just frustrate me, like a couple of them really did today, I just want to litterally scream my head off! 8O
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Old 03-15-2008  
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If you have the view that 95% of people are uncaring, stupid people then you might shut off the idea of even trying. Instead of thinking that way.... think that 95% of people are good, worthwhile people you just need to get to know better (until proven otherwise.)

Forget those that hurt you. From this point on, try to think more positively and have an open mind.
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Old 03-15-2008  
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Learn to like yourself first, then after that who cares? lol.

I have a negative view of people in general, it's good in a way that I won't get disappointed. If I do end up getting something positive from them though it's surprising and am grateful in a way and it shows.
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Old 03-16-2008  
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I'm quite a cynical person, so i think that most people suck. People on the whole are sellfish and only care about how much money they are making, what car they're driving etc.
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Old 07-18-2011  
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Default Re: How do I learn to like people?

I think the first step is motivation, that is, why even try?

The best answer I got for that was someone told me, "When you meet a new person, it is like taking a trip to an exotic destination. You get to travel into thier world and learn from their experiences." A lovely thought: meeting someone is somewhat analgous to a vacation.

Still, people scare the heck out of me.

I took a class once where everyone had to give a speech about something that had really affected them in thier lives. There were some very personal stories, about loss, hurt, etc. That really taught me something about a common humanity: that we all have our struggles and hardships.

It is like the saying, "Don't compare your inside with someone else's projected perfect outside". That is, we have all had a lot of pain. If you can let down your defenses enough to discover it you will find compassion in most people.

I think 20% of the world are ****s no matter what. 20% are awesome no matter what, and 60% are reactionary: they will treat you the way you treat them. So if you are defensive or suspicious they will reflect that back at you. Zen out and your world gets better.

Now I just need to always remember to take my own advice.
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Old 07-18-2011  
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Default Re: How do I learn to like people?

That's a question I'm always asking myself. Like you, I'm really bitter and angry towards people in general but in actuality I'm a really nice and caring person. I'm just easily bothered by the general public's inconsideration towards others, especially those of us with social phobia. It's really sad to know that every 8 out of 10 people you meet are total a-holes and those few 2 out of 10 are genuinely kind and compassionate people.
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Old 07-18-2011  
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Default Re: How do I learn to like people?

Like you i'm not too found of most people, that's what i spend most of my time alone and rarely try to make deeper connections with most people. I don't think you should try like people who treat you like crap, **** them, if 95% treat you like crap **** all of them. You should search for that 5% and work with them. You don't need to have a thousand friends but just a few good ones
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Old 07-18-2011  
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Default Re: How do I learn to like people?

it is my understanding that most people assume that other people are generally like themselves

that's why they ask those questions on job application questionaires

"Do you think most people would steal if they could get away with it?"

"Do you think most people lie?"

"Do you think most people call in sick when they're really not?"


because we usually consider ourselves to be "most people", the answers to those questions give a prospective employer an indication of what you yourself are like

so if you think most people are generally rotten - what does it tell you about your own self worth?

maybe that's where to start

"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered." - Voltaire

"We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are." - Max De Pree

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin
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Old 07-18-2011  
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Default Re: How do I learn to like people?

What coyote and TheAristocrat said.

Being cynical is easy and - a lot of times - fun and entertaining in your own mind.

Learn to drop cynicism by actually interacting with the people you're pre-judging.
95% of the people you see may be ***holes, but you may also be 95% wrong about all of them. The other 5% are the ones who colored your world-view and are definitely worth dismissing from memory.

http://mental-illnessclub.deviantart...llery/24365785 (not me btw)
"Some of them cast no shadow, they have no reflections.
Take a look in your photobook: I'm not there anymore..."
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Old 07-18-2011  
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Default Re: How do I learn to like people?

I disagree with Coyotes input and its consquences. You're saying we're projecting our own caracter onto the others. The thing is, nobody said anything about ASSUMING. There is a thing called experience and there are criterias that allow a guy to discern between a decent person and an a**hole. Obviously we're not talking strict science etc. here and we're not in an ethics seminary but i guess that's the moment to play the common sense card.

I've been reading around this forum a little lately and a lot of the threads seem to imply that there's something wrong with "you" and not with "them". Coyotes thought perpetualizes this.
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