How do you get rid of the " Fear of jugement" ?

For me my social anxiety boils down pretty much being afraid of being judge. avoid people/relationship/eye contact for this exact reason....I feel that when people look at me they immediately see my anxiety/sadness etc...

So how could I stop this self defeating behavior?

Yes, the basis of social anxiety is the fear of being judged by others, so to overcome this fear we need to think more along the lines of:

• not everyone is judging us, most other people have their thoughts elsewhere
• if people are judging us then we need a "so what?" atittude, no one is perfect and we cannot control the thoughts of others
• when people openly judge us unfavourably (teasing, bullying, unwanted comments...) then it is from emotionally immature individuals and should not be taken to heart
• there are plenty of people who view us with understanding, without judgement

phocas said:

Yes, the basis of social anxiety is the fear of being judged by others, so to overcome this fear we need to think more along the lines of:

• not everyone is judging us, most other people have their thoughts elsewhere
• if people are judging us then we need a "so what?" atittude, no one is perfect and we cannot control the thoughts of others
• when people openly judge us unfavourably (teasing, bullying, unwanted comments...) then it is from emotionally immature individuals and should not be taken to heart
• there are plenty of people who view us with understanding, without judgement

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Good post, this is right on IMO. It really and truly has helped me tremendously to continually tell myself "So what?" every time I feel like I am being judged. Over time it has reduced my anxiety a lot and I feel a lot more confident most of the time.

It's always easier said than done, and it can be disheartening not to see instant results and still feel that pain, but if you can try to maybe get a little angry about it, like, "Who are they that I care? Why should I feel they are better than me?" After all, you were born into this world just as they were.

Also, maybe try to put yourself in their shoes, just to be able to fully fathom the idea that they are just human like you.

I am just speaking from my own experiences and strategies, because well, what else can I do? Also, I don't know what your level of anxiety is, because I know that if it's quite high it will be more challenging (mine wasn't that high to begin with after a certain point in high school).

I wish you luck, keep at it!

Yeah the " So what? " attitude is definitely something I have to really work on....it just seem that people can see my " weak" side and try to take advantage of it. When that happens I have a " in ur face" attitude witch can bring conflict. These daily battles seem so unnecessary and draining.....

Pratice. Talk to enough people and seek out the friendly encouraging ones, and slowly build the confidence that most people aren't judging you. Soon you will find that the points Phocas makes are indeed true.