SocialPhobiaWorld.com  
     

Home Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
 
Go Back   SocialPhobiaWorld.com > Other related Disorders > Agoraphobia Forum

Post New Thread Reply
 
Search this Thread
Old 10-03-2009  
Mad Max
Elite User
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

I spend a lot of time alone. Unless I'm helping someone do something or have to be awake for some other reason, I'm almost completely nocturnal. I do everything at night; grocery shop, drive around town, drive into and see other states, go to the beach... It's peaceful, but I guess it's no real life.

It's so rare that I step out during the day that I get funny looks from neighbors if they spot me around the apartment complex letting my dog use the bathroom during daylight hours or something.

Somewhere along the line I guess I'm going to have to find some kind of balance between a normal existence and my phobia.

Last edited by FountainandFairfax; 10-03-2009 at 06:19 AM.. Reason: spaz
FountainandFairfax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009  
Elite User
agoraphobickatie's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

ravens, darling..
first i'll start by saying this is my first time ever joining a forum, and my first ever post, so bare with me, if you can, haha...
i wish i even knew where to start... i'm 21 and i've had some sort of panic disorder for as long as i can remember, but i made it through middle and most of high school. i always found some way to "push through" it and just get my shit done. i found some way to go to school, to drive my car around town, to go to the mall, to go to work, to visit friends, to go to sporting events.. i found some way to do all of that for years and years and somehow, one day, out of nowhere, it's like i went stir crazy and forgot it all.. since may of this year, i haven't been able to leave my house without feeling panic and anxiety.. i was out on my own, living with my boyfriend at the time (who gee thanks broke up with me when i was already down in all of this, ha) i had a good job, was paying my own bills, buying anything i wanted for myself, etc etc... until one day i went to wal-mart (yeah, i'm from the southeast US, lol) and found myself racing to get the hell out of the store because i was suddenly extremely anxious and felt like i was going to barf in the middle of the store! so i quit my job, damn near lost my car because i couldn't afford it, lost everything i had worked for until the break up and i moved back home with my dad, who has been helping me with my bills, while being an amazing support and taking me to my therapy sessions etc etc.. so anyway, it's obvious that the easiest thing to do about my anxiety is stay home and feel "safe"... well it only took me a month of sitting at home feeling "safe" to realize that feeling "safe" sucked way effing worse than feeling "happy", haha.. feeling joy, feeling ANYTHING... so i've been going to therapy etc etc.. i decided for myself that i don't want to "survive" with agoraphobia, i want to live.. i want to do all of the things i used to be able to do... little things.. used to be that when i was upset, i'd take a drive, smoke half a pack of camel no.9s and i'd clear my mind.. but my agoraphobia won't even let me do that.. used to be that when i was feeling less than stellar i'd go to the local mall and get some of what chicks like to call 'retail therapy', but my agoraphobia won't even let me do that... i could go on and on with bullshit examples.. but at some point you have to decide that whether you think life is short, medium or way too long, you're only here once, and you might as well be happy if not ANYTHING else... obviously, i'm miserable feeling like i can't leave my house, things that used to make me feel better, happy or accomplished all seem to be out of reach.. how the hell am i supposed to go on without those things? i'm not.. i just won't do it, i have to get back there, and i will get back there... i guess i'm saying you just have to start walking in some sort of positive direction.. you have to have hope of something, you have to dream your dreams and quit saying "how do i live with this", maybe it should be "how do i live above this"... anyway, i'm going back and forth decided whether or not all of this is just useless of me to say and i should delete it, haha... but alas, some of the best therapy is spitting your problems out and [trying] to help others if at all possible..
so i would want you to start being some kind of positive, does positive seem like a cheesy word? it pretty much is.. but it's a hell of a lot better than negative.. basically, i'm getting this chance to start over, and to become someone better than i even was before.. my only choice is to keep moving, to be positive, to have hope, and to do everything i can to overcome this.. through therapy i've learned that two things are top priority in working through depression/anxiety/etc etc-- EXERCISE and SLEEP.. (which i'm getting plenty of at 4am, right? ha..) somewhere you have to find confidence in yourself, confidence that lets you trust yourself, so you can start believing yourself when you have those little talks about future endeavors- shit that you want to try to make it through, but you have that battle in your head about.. and i guess, supposedly, the best way to overcome agoraphobia is 'exposure' (doesn't that suck?..) just forcing yourself to do anything you might be uncomfortable with so that you can figure out how you get through it and all, and supposedly it becomes easier and easier.. i wouldn't know, it's still hard for me, but when i get there, i'll get back to you haha... you just have to know that it CAN be done. you have to trust in that...

anyway, i apologize for the cluster**** post of randomness that may not even be of use to anyone but myself, haha.. and i apologize for my language, if that offends anyone.. i hope to be posting more poorly formed paragraphs with shitty grammar soon, maybe one day i'll get good at this too, ha

"no longer forward nor behind
i look in hope and fear;
but grateful take the good i find,
the best of now and here."
-john g whittier

www.akatie.blogspot.com
agoraphobickatie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2009  
Intermediate User
Ravens's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

Thanks for posting Katie, I really know where you're coming from. I wish it hadn't taken so long for me to realise that feeling "safe" at home was not the way to move forward and live, and my biggest fear right now is slipping back into that.
Failing my first year of uni after doing so well at College is a big step back for me to take. As if every day things weren't difficult enough I've now gotta contend with this, explain how someone who seemed to be doing so well (I'm a good actor) is now restarting the first year and going back to basics. I'm sick of lying and covering up and making excuses, because i keep worrying some of it is going to come back and haunt me. At the same time I'm a lot older than most of the people around me. It's difficult to share and make people understand what I'm going through, and the last thing I want or could cope with is people looking at me differently, treating me differently, or at least me thinking they're doing either of those things.
So like you say... I push on, take every day as it comes. The basic social support structure I've got now will vanish in 2 years when they graduate though... that last year (if I get that far) might be hell on earth, and I've got no safe place to retreat to.
I can't even discuss this with my parents because while I know they'll be supportive, I know they're gonna be so disappointed too. Can't lie forever though right?

At least I can take stock of the fact I can do more things than I used to be able to. If I'm with friends I can go shopping without feeling overly anxious (it's still there, of course)... I can answer the phone confidently for the most part (couldn't do that before), and for the most part I can "act" confident when the need arises. See for me showing that I'm as nervous as I actually am, is the nightmare scenario. So in a way, explaining to people now would make them all the more puzzled, as I hide it so well. Not that I'm out partying every night, or any night for that matter... which must seem a little odd.

It's just tough times... still waiting on things to click together and simply get easier every step of the way. I know I can't go back to being housebound again, I'd rather not be on this earth any more than go back. As good as I was at distracting myself (kept me sane, but also stopped me from effectively moving forward), it'd only be a matter of time before I slip into utter despair.
I guess that's one of my biggest motivations right now, I just hope it's enough.
Ravens is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2009  
Elite User
agoraphobickatie's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

bahhhh... i'm terribly sorry any of us have to go through this =/
do you ever think about online courses or anything? it sounds like the university is your ONLY option.. but i guess in my town, we have a community college, hell, my own dad graduated from that college the same year my friends graduated from high school (i didn't graduate, i said fukk it and got my GED, haha) ..anyway, i did go to college after i got my GED and loved it, it's a goal of mine to get back there, but i certainly don't feel as rushed as you :(

i feeeeeeel you on the excuses thing.. i turned 21 this year at the height of my agoraphobia.. you wouldn't believe how many friends and some not really friends were all "heyyyy let's go get fukked up at the club! you're 21!" "heyyyy what are you doing for the big 21!?" haha... pretty much all of my close friends know, and they're all behind me 100%, what a freakin blessing, i know! i have a group of friends from high school that still gets together to hang out (probably 7 or 8 people or so) and four of them actually have a house together.. i used to absolutely love our get togethers, especially during the summer when more people are home from college, we're the kind of people who sit around until 4am doing absolutely nothing and still have the best time, just cracking each other up.... anyway, i've been missing all of that and it kills me.. but i just be funny katie about it and say "yeah guys, when i'm not crazy any more, i'll totally be there!" ..i'll probably be missing a halloween party too, (favorite!) but i said i may make it a goal to at least drive there and stay for if only a few minutes, and i'd be dressed as a sane person.. heh..

but with most people, it's all about excuses or avoidance, and that is just annoying and hard to get around, ugh... again, in the midst of all this i went through a break up, and for some reason once your "facebook relationship status" goes from 'in a relationship' to 'single', you get a bunch of "hey girl, hows it been? we need to get together sometime" messages in your inbox (HAHA... i know right..) so that was a lot of avoiding and shunning (dammit..) lol

also, with you parents, i get you there too! since i turned 15 my dad was on me to get a job, he's a firm freakin believer in working for everything you have... i had to get a job to get my car and then start paying all of my own bills.. thing is, i hate working! i just hate it! haha.. i've struggled with employment, and not even all because of my anxiety, it's just because i hate working... so i've gotten plenty of the 'ungrateful' talks and "well everybody has to do it, katie" talks from my dad in the past... we've had tooooo many fights where i was being a brat and didn't want to work and go to school at the same time, needed help paying my bills and he'd get ill having to shell out money, and everything else under the sun...so when my agoraphobia kicked in and i quit my job, i sat around for a month (living with boyfriend at the time) avoiding any calls/texts/e-mails from my own father because i was scared as hell what he'd have to say... when i finally broke down, got broken up with and had nowhere to go, i called him.. and to my absolute surprise, he answered with open arms and has been my number 1 support since... i've been so blessed to have him right now (my moms in the picture, too, she just lives in a neighboring city in a 1 bedroom apartment, ha) ..anyway, he actually knew of a therapist to set me up with, has been paying my bills and been helping in every way possible.. i will never in a million years pay him off for this one..

anyway, you can probably tell i try to keep a positive *** attitude about all of this.. i just know that thinking any worse will NOT make anything better.. at all...
"whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right." -henry ford
i love that quote, it's so true, but so hard to truly live by, ya know?
i do wish you the best of luck, ravens.. i hope you can be strong and just make yourself be some kind of positive, because even if it's a lie, eventually it won't be..

"no longer forward nor behind
i look in hope and fear;
but grateful take the good i find,
the best of now and here."
-john g whittier

www.akatie.blogspot.com
agoraphobickatie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2009  
Newbie User
Aiyieeeee's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

Sorry to hear all of this. I don't think I have agoraphobia, but I do stay inside and in my room alone a lot.....all the time.......

I have no friends, I've never been to a party. I'm now in my 5th year of college. It's gotten better, but my first year, I'd go home every weekend. I hated it. My little box room was so small and if I wasn't at class, I was inside there.....alone. It was so miserable. And I always had to have the door locked, which frustrated my roommate. And I hated when he'd ask, "so what did you do today?"
How long can you keep giving the same answer, "Nothing", before it just gets awkward and embarrassing and he starts to think something is wrong?

They say if you go home every weekend your first year, odds of you remaining in college are slim and that's what people were telling me about myself so I'm at least thankful that I kept at it.

Like you, I was great with my grades. Honor Student. In the top percentile. Got the most awards and scholarships on Senior Night at my High School. I got into my first year of College and actually failed a class. And this was after I was told that I had passed it. I was enraged, defeated and in shock all at the same time. Of course my GPA just went to heck after that and I even got on probation. This isn't me at all. Thankfully I got off of probation and didn't get into Academic Warning and then a suspension from College.

I've still never been able to recover and get back into the 3.0s but maybe after this semester.

I don't believe my family knew how bad it was until I went to college (Not that they really do now). While at home, although I never went out or socialized and got comments here and there that I ought to go out, they never really honed in on anything being wrong. Although I was diagnosed at 16, I still got comments such as, it was all in my head or I was just not into people or stuck up or didn't care. I was in Symphonic, Marching, and Jazz Band for some years so maybe that distracted them. I eventually had to quite though, because I was the top trumpet and I couldn't take the pressure. I didn't want to march out in the front line of the parades or be the one who was "supposed" to be the best. That was really the only other connection like that that I had before I quit.

Like you, I also worry about my job history and filling out applications. I hardly have anything to put down. I have some volunteer work I did for 9 months and a KFC job I did for 4 months. I've been in college for 5 years and I haven't been able to bring myself to make any connections. I haven't had a job in that time. No volunteer work and no internships. I envisioned my College Career so much more differently. Before I was diagnosed, I always thought I'd just grow out of my condition. Knowing that Social Anxiety/Phobia is the #1 most misunderstood Mental Disorder and in the group of Mental Disorders that tend to get worse as you get older is very disheartening.

Like I said, I stay inside all of the time, never going out but for classes. My issue is more so the people than the outdoors. I shy away from people and keep to myself. Plus I never have anywhere to go anyway. Working in groups and having to partner up are some of the worse things that you can make me do. I was diagnosed when I was 16 and I am now 22 and have just come around to the idea of getting help. I finally want help. I'd like to go on some pills. No medical insurance so I'm out of luck for now. Still suffering.

Also, the idea of getting a job and going out to work is rather scary. I'll be surrounding by people, dealing with people, servicing people. My family has been getting on me about getting a job and helping out but they just don't understand. Not that I still haven't tried over the summer, but nothing came of it though.

So yeah. It's scary to think about the future. I don't want to be the creepy old guy who lives alone that people shun away from and talk about and are weirded out by and keep their children away from because they think he's a pedophile or a psychopathic murderer or something.

I've always said I was fine being alone, but I guess that was more for my sanity than anything else because if I'm really honest with myself, I guess I really do wish I had some friends, people to do stuff with and places to go. I wish I was more out there and ambitious and outgoing and not always alone. I've never even been in a relationship (Really has family members guessing/worrying). Which I've also kind of told myself I'm fine with and that I don't understand relationships and don't relate to relationships and how they're just not me. That I don't identify with them and would lose what little sense of self that I've obtained over the years if that were to ever change, but alas once again, I know I'm just lying to myself and would very much like to have someone. Life would be much easier.

I've been trying to fool myself for a very long time and once I click "Post Reply", I'll continue on trying to fool myself because I can only remain in moments of clarity such as this for so long before who knows what will happen. And really, I'm not successful in this abysmal attempt to fool myself. I just ignore all of this and willingly submit to denial. It's easier I guess.

Lately I've been in my head a lot. More so than normal I think. Sometimes I don't even realize it until I come out of it and back to reality. Things have been becoming so vivid and real. And I like it. This kind of scares me. My grandma always told me that sitting up in my room with nothing but my four walls to stare at was going to drive me crazy. While what I create in my head is so much more better than reality, I hope I'm not going crazy, but I don't want it to stop.

There are some people out there in your exact shoes. Some people have it worse and some people have it better.

Just know you're not alone and hopefully you can find some comfort in that and continue to do well and get help whenever you feel you need it.

Good luck my friend.

There's a difference between being ALONE and being LONELY.

Last edited by Aiyieeeee; 11-01-2009 at 07:35 PM..
Aiyieeeee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2009  
Intermediate User
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aiyieeeee View Post
Sorry to hear all of this. I don't think I have agoraphobia, but I do stay inside and in my room alone a lot.....all the time.......

I have no friends, I've never been to a party. I'm now in my 5th year of college. It's gotten better, but my first year, I'd go home every weekend. I hated it. My little box room was so small and if I wasn't at class, I was inside there.....alone. It was so miserable. And I always had to have the door locked, which frustrated my roommate. And I hated when he'd ask, "so what did you do today?"
How long can you keep giving the same answer, "Nothing", before it just gets awkward and embarrassing and he starts to think something is wrong?

They say if you go home every weekend your first year, odds of you remaining in college are slim and that's what people were telling me about myself so I'm at least thankful that I kept at it.

Like you, I was great with my grades. Honor Student. In the top percentile. Got the most awards and scholarships on Senior Night at my High School. I got into my first year of College and actually failed a class. And this was after I was told that I had passed it. I was enraged, defeated and in shock all at the same time. Of course my GPA just went to heck after that and I even got on probation. This isn't me at all. Thankfully I got off of probation and didn't get into Academic Warning and then a suspension from College.

I've still never been able to recover and get back into the 3.0s but maybe after this semester.

I don't believe my family knew how bad it was until I went to college (Not that they really do now). While at home, although I never went out or socialized and got comments here and there that I ought to go out, they never really honed in on anything being wrong. Although I was diagnosed at 16, I still got comments such as, it was all in my head or I was just not into people or stuck up or didn't care. I was in Symphonic, Marching, and Jazz Band for some years so maybe that distracted them. I eventually had to quite though, because I was the top trumpet and I couldn't take the pressure. I didn't want to march out in the front line of the parades or be the one who was "supposed" to be the best. That was really the only other connection like that that I had before I quit.

Like you, I also worry about my job history and filling out applications. I hardly have anything to put down. I have some volunteer work I did for 9 months and a KFC job I did for 4 months. I've been in college for 5 years and I haven't been able to bring myself to make any connections. I haven't had a job in that time. No volunteer work and no internships. I envisioned my College Career so much more differently. Before I was diagnosed, I always thought I'd just grow out of my condition. Knowing that Social Anxiety/Phobia is the #1 most misunderstood Mental Disorder and in the group of Mental Disorders that tend to get worse as you get older is very disheartening.

Like I said, I stay inside all of the time, never going out but for classes. My issue is more so the people than the outdoors. I shy away from people and keep to myself. Plus I never have anywhere to go anyway. Working in groups and having to partner up are some of the worse things that you can make me do. I was diagnosed when I was 16 and I am now 22 and have just come around to the idea of getting help. I finally want help. I'd like to go on some pills. No medical insurance so I'm out of luck for now. Still suffering.

Also, the idea of getting a job and going out to work is rather scary. I'll be surrounding by people, dealing with people, servicing people. My family has been getting on me about getting a job and helping out but they just don't understand. Not that I still haven't tried over the summer, but nothing came of it though.

So yeah. It's scary to think about the future. I don't want to be the creepy old guy who lives alone that people shun away from and talk about and are weirded out by and keep their children away from because they think he's a pedophile or a psychopathic murderer or something.

I've always said I was fine being alone, but I guess that was more for my sanity than anything else because if I'm really honest with myself, I guess I really do wish I had some friends, people to do stuff with and places to go. I wish I was more out there and ambitious and outgoing and not always alone. I've never even been in a relationship (Really has family members guessing/worrying). Which I've also kind of told myself I'm fine with and that I don't understand relationships and don't relate to relationships and how they're just not me. That I don't identify with them and would lose what little sense of self that I've obtained over the years if that were to ever change, but alas once again, I know I'm just lying to myself and would very much like to have someone. Life would be much easier.

I've been trying to fool myself for a very long time and once I click "Post Reply", I'll continue on trying to fool myself because I can only remain in moments of clarity such as this for so long before who knows what will happen. And really, I'm not successful in this abysmal attempt to fool myself. I just ignore all of this and willingly submit to denial. It's easier I guess.

Lately I've been in my head a lot. More so than normal I think. Sometimes I don't even realize it until I come out of it and back to reality. Things have been becoming so vivid and real. And I like it. This kind of scares me. My grandma always told me that sitting up in my room with nothing but my four walls to stare at was going to drive me crazy. While what I create in my head is so much more better than reality, I hope I'm not going crazy, but I don't want it to stop.

There are some people out there in your exact shoes. Some people have it worse and some people have it better.

Just know you're not alone and hopefully you can find some comfort in that and continue to do well and get help whenever you feel you need it.

Good luck my friend.
you're brilliant. honestly, thank you. i found so much comfort in what you wrote..i don't even know if i have agoraphobia, but i'm starting to see the symptoms more & more lately. it just really comforts me to know that i'm not alone. i'm not crazy. it's not in my head. thank you.
exquisite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2009  
Intermediate User
Ravens's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

I really recognise a lot in your post Aiyieeeee, thanks for sharing it with me. I remember before I attended counselling thinking I have some really bizarre unique condition, until I saw it affecting others.
It does help at times, especially difficult times to know I'm not the only one with these crazy nonsensical thoughts going through my head, stopping me from doing things.

I'm glad I found this place in the end, I never even thought to look in the years gone by.
Ravens is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2009  
Newbie User
Aiyieeeee's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

Quote:
Originally Posted by exquisite View Post
you're brilliant. honestly, thank you. i found so much comfort in what you wrote..i don't even know if i have agoraphobia, but i'm starting to see the symptoms more & more lately. it just really comforts me to know that i'm not alone. i'm not crazy. it's not in my head. thank you.
Wow. You're welcome and Thank you. I'm happy you were able to find solace in something I said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravens View Post
I really recognise a lot in your post Aiyieeeee, thanks for sharing it with me. I remember before I attended counselling thinking I have some really bizarre unique condition, until I saw it affecting others.
It does help at times, especially difficult times to know I'm not the only one with these crazy nonsensical thoughts going through my head, stopping me from doing things.

I'm glad I found this place in the end, I never even thought to look in the years gone by.
No problem. Anytime. I'm glad you found this place too. I've searched for communities such as this one periodically throughout the years and not until now did I find one that really felt this good and made me feel a little better.

I haven't come across someone in real life though like me, which as a kid was very troubling and I just kept waiting, expecting, wishing and hoping. I don't expect to anymore. While I'm older now, you still want to find someone in real life that you can relate to.

Unlike you, I actually thought I was different and special in a good way in the very beginning, because I wasn't obnoxious, gross and rowdy like all of the other little boys and the girls weren't repulsed by me like they were by the others. It wasn't until 4th grade that I realized I was different in an unfortunate way and because I wasn't like everybody else (specifically the other boys), began hating myself......along with what seemed like the majority of my peers.

What irony huh?

There's a difference between being ALONE and being LONELY.
Aiyieeeee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2009  
Banned
Elite User
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

My question for you guys is are you guys even thinking about all those accumulating tuition fees that are building up because of fail classes? I'm only on my 2nd year of college and i'm already afraid. I'm also thinking about going to University after my AAS, but I don't know if i should. My family is rather poor and we're basically living off welfare...so i have to put a limit somewhere. I go to college for the chances to meet new people, not for the degree... Isn't that a bit selfish?
Nack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2009  
Newbie User
slicknsly's Avatar
 

Default Re: How do you live with Agoraphobia?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nack View Post
My question for you guys is are you guys even thinking about all those accumulating tuition fees that are building up because of fail classes? I'm only on my 2nd year of college and i'm already afraid. I'm also thinking about going to University after my AAS, but I don't know if i should. My family is rather poor and we're basically living off welfare...so i have to put a limit somewhere. I go to college for the chances to meet new people, not for the degree... Isn't that a bit selfish?

Government pays for my schooling, but either way I go to school to get a degree. I would say it is somewhat selfish because if you go to college to just meet new people you can go somewhere else where its much less expensive...even free

Who would you be if you had no music,friends,work,hobbies or interests.
Where would you fall along this flat line spectrum.
A human being maybe?
slicknsly is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads to How do you live with Agoraphobia?
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
how can i get over my agoraphobia? nicolexx Agoraphobia Forum 32 01-14-2013 03:04 PM
[b]is it agoraphobia?[/b] ioanna Agoraphobia Forum 1 09-07-2008 03:29 PM
am i having agoraphobia? milo001 Agoraphobia Forum 2 07-11-2008 11:51 PM
I live life to live.. I don't enjoy it.. Shy_Gurl2007 Social Anxiety Forum 1 02-25-2007 05:59 AM
Just me? Is this agoraphobia? Plz take a look hammer00 Agoraphobia Forum 2 01-30-2007 10:07 AM


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:00 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2