How do you REALLY know if someone likes you?

burner21

burner21

Active member
Is that someone (girl if you're a guy and vice versa) talking to you just to be nice or do they actually like you more than in a friendly way? How can you tell for sure? I always go with the "they're just being nice" side. Is this usually a social anxiety thing?

I noticed that if someone likes/liked me, they'd have to literally say it to my face. I'm so oblivious to this stuff. I just found out a week ago that one of my female friends had a crush on me in high school (4 years ago). I had no idea at the time! Now looking back, I can see how in some of the ways she acted, I would say that that was the case. But i dont know. I'm terrible at this.

What do you guys think (from your particular experiences)?
 
burner21

burner21

Active member
EvilFlyingCow said:
But try watching her eyes. If she keeps looking at you, and maybe even smiles, she is probably attracted to you.
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I guess youre right about this. But again, for people with social anxiety, you don't keep eye contact for long. This happened to me during a lab class one semester. This girl seemed to stare at me a lot, but that was the thing, she was just staring. It was tough for me to tell if she liked me or thought i was weird. I didn't want to ask because I didnt want to make it awkward for the rest of the time we were there.

... I ended up "friending" her on facebook, only saying two lines to this girl the whole time in class ... of course i was drunk =]
 
burner21

burner21

Active member
EvilFlyingCow said:
burner21 said:
If she is friendly with you when you talk to her, then she likes you. 99% of the girls you catch staring at you are actually checking you out. So the odds are in your favor.
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yeah, i guess youre right on this one. the times i did run into her during lab, she was nothing but nice. well, it's too late now.

... just an additional question with the ones up top (Any feedback is still appreciated with those). But how about the girls you end up talking to before or after class (or work, whatever) and such (though, very rare for me). Could you really tell if they like you or they're just being nice. I tend to think that you're mostly in the "friend zone" with these ones. That they just want to talk to someone familiar, sort of.
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Jura

Jura

Well-known member
As much as we tend to interpret everything badly, I can't overstress the danger and ease of losing yourself in blind optimism. If people look at you, it generally doesn't mean anything. They're just looking. Who cares.

And no, it's not possible to discern whether they're being nice or horny. A lot of girls just act nice. Doesn't mean they're in love with you. The most accurate way is to look in the mirror and see if they have anything to like there. If you can tell. I've recently had a really bad experience, and anyone else would have assumed she wanted to do me, but I remained sceptical and prevented embarrassment, so I'm glad.
 
chris420

chris420

Well-known member
Jura said:
And no, it's not possible to discern whether they're being nice or horny. A lot of girls just act nice. Doesn't mean they're in love with you. The most accurate way is to look in the mirror and see if they have anything to like there. If you can tell.
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Sorry but that is a ridiculous comment...how could you possibly know? In my teens I had terrible acne, hated my face, body etc., but one day my sis told me her friend said I was good-looking. Another time I caught a girl staring at me on a bus, thought she was thinking how weird I looked, but evidently not 'cause later on she asked me out. But I would've still sworn I was f-ugly to 99% of girls.

I don't think it's possible to have an objective view of your looks, especially when you have low self-esteem which I would guess most here suffer from. It's even more important for people like us to look out for nonverbal signals IMO. Although it's obviously common sense not to jump to conclusions based on a single look or whatever.
 
dan_e

dan_e

Well-known member
I find that most of the people who like me are the ones that seem to ignore me lol. They'll glance once in a while and rarely if ever talk to me. So I have no idea. Then I find out later that they were interested.
 
C

chris87

Well-known member
I've always wondered how you know if someone likes you. I am not perceptive at all when it comes to attraction/relationships. I would never be able to tell if someone were interested in me, unless they explicitly stated it. I don't foresee that happening anytime soon!
 
Rodox

Rodox

Well-known member
I think its when they keep giggling around you, smiling to you a lot at least for 15,19 years olds but thats kinda obvious,I am not really the best person to answer this.
 
Jura

Jura

Well-known member
chris420 said:
Jura said:
And no, it's not possible to discern whether they're being nice or horny. A lot of girls just act nice. Doesn't mean they're in love with you. The most accurate way is to look in the mirror and see if they have anything to like there. If you can tell.
Click to expand...

Sorry but that is a ridiculous comment...how could you possibly know? In my teens I had terrible acne, hated my face, body etc., but one day my sis told me her friend said I was good-looking. Another time I caught a girl staring at me on a bus, thought she was thinking how weird I looked, but evidently not 'cause later on she asked me out. But I would've still sworn I was f-ugly to 99% of girls.

I don't think it's possible to have an objective view of your looks, especially when you have low self-esteem which I would guess most here suffer from. It's even more important for people like us to look out for nonverbal signals IMO. Although it's obviously common sense not to jump to conclusions based on a single look or whatever.
Click to expand...

I meant if you have an objective view of yourself. Which most of us don't. But if you can just look at a mirror without thinking it's you, imagining it's another person, and judge fairly, then that's the best way. I could've sworn a few girls were really attracted to me, by their body language (trying to grab my attention, touching me, playing with their hair while talking to me (or rather at me :( ), looking at my lips, facing me, pointing their feet towards me, crossing their legs to show off their thighs in my direction, showing off their neck and whatnot), but I remained rational and knew that that's all crap and that they couldn't possibly be interested in me. And guess what: I was right.

Most of us just don't have enough experience to know, and if I had everything going in my favor as some of you seem to, and yet crashed and burned, I think it's fair to advise you to not let your guard down.
 
Avoidance

Avoidance

Active member
A smile after a stare should at least point to a freindly conversation.

I guess you could find out a lot by giving him or her a little compliment and see if they corrspond with a similar compliment. If it's a compliment that is followed by a but, it's a no go. like for example: "Your really nice too but..." That was always the clue key word "but"

I am no Casanova by any means.
 
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