How do you stop liking a crush?

There's a girl at work I can't stop thinking about and it's really making me nuts. On one hand it's good because I've started to take better care of myself in order to impress her. On the other hand I get depressed because I can tell she's not interested in me / I'm not her type.

Since I work with her I can't avoid her. Sharing my feelings would make things really awkward. Right now I'm trying to just ride it out and hope it goes away with time, but It's been a few months now.

Is there anything you more experience people know that would help me get over her?

I'm 21, and never had a girlfriend.

Oh god. I am having the EXACT same problem at the moment. I've liked this boy at my school for ages - nearly a year, no exageration. Similarly to you, this guy is just not my type - and i'm aware of that - we've barely exchanged more than a few passing comments, and i know that if i got to know him better, he wouldn't like me. Firstly, he's hot. I'm average at best. Secondly, he's extremely SOCIAL. Loads of friends, and always going on about places he went or things he did with them. He wouldn't like me - he's got swarms of prettier, dumber, more socialable girls around him constantly. Gaaah! We are just so incompatably different! If anything did happen between us, it would be uttely catastrophic - and i'm aware of that! But i STILL can't stop liking him!!

Something needs to be done. I can barely look him in the eye and ask "how are you?" or even say "Hi" without blushing like crazy. It's a nightmare.

I've not had many crushes in my life, but i've had several that i've had to get rid of.

most recently, i developed a crush on a girl during my 2nd year at uni... fell for her quite hard, i still kinda like her (its over a year now). Initially, i couldn't stop thinking about her, and i didn't want to avoid her. I did the opposite. She had a boyfriend, for a while, who she seemed to love. When i met him and didn't hate him, i decided 'this crush has got to go'. I had the opportunity to avoid her for a while, but it didn't really work.

Here is a suggestion though- try this- make a decision to try and become friends with her. then you at least get a friend... and through getting to know her your crush will initially grow but be somewhat satisfied through getting to know her, but you'll discover things about her that annoy you, and put you off...

only do that if your personality is suited to it though..

alternatively, whenever you find yourself thinking about her, start doing something that requires your concentration (or thinking something that does.. eg trying to recall something), and supplement that with meditation.

for me it was a combination of becoming friends, and the meditation and displacement activities that took the edge of the crush... it became something manageable and minor...

but the main sticking point is time... but i think you have to satisfy it (the crush) somewhat (ie avoiding the person will do you know good, even if you do displacement thinking, because you'll long for their prescence), or forget it completely , in order to 'move on'

Ubersonic said:

There's a girl at work I can't stop thinking about and it's really making me nuts. On one hand it's good because I've started to take better care of myself in order to impress her. On the other hand I get depressed because I can tell she's not interested in me / I'm not her type.

Since I work with her I can't avoid her. Sharing my feelings would make things really awkward. Right now I'm trying to just ride it out and hope it goes away with time, but It's been a few months now.

Is there anything you more experience people know that would help me get over her?

I'm 21, and never had a girlfriend.

Click to expand...

you gotta divert your attention and focus on a different girl, one that is obtainable.

strawberrybrunette said:

Oh god. I am having the EXACT same problem at the moment. I've liked this boy at my school for ages - nearly a year, no exageration. Similarly to you, this guy is just not my type - and i'm aware of that - we've barely exchanged more than a few passing comments, and i know that if i got to know him better, he wouldn't like me. Firstly, he's hot. I'm average at best. Secondly, he's extremely SOCIAL. Loads of friends, and always going on about places he went or things he did with them. He wouldn't like me - he's got swarms of prettier, dumber, more socialable girls around him constantly. Gaaah! We are just so incompatably different! If anything did happen between us, it would be uttely catastrophic - and i'm aware of that! But i STILL can't stop liking him!!

Something needs to be done. I can barely look him in the eye and ask "how are you?" or even say "Hi" without blushing like crazy. It's a nightmare.

Click to expand...

Do you ever feel like you're always attracted to the same kind of person (social, lots of friends, not selfconscious, not shy etc)? Because I do. It's like I'm looking for someone that doesn't have the same problems like me, because think it's a weakness.
I'm deadly shy myself, and yet I could never fall in love with someone that is as shy as me. (which is kind of hypocrite, I know)

(at above post)

I don't think your hypocritical, that's just your taste. There's no rule saying you have to like somebody just like you. A lot of people would find that boring.

I just think you have good taste. Outgoing and confident are positive qualities. To most anyways.

Yeah - i always like the confident, funny guys. They never like me, though - buuuuut, i always feel i have to "dumb myself down" around people like that - whereas with the "geeky" boys i actually get on with (no offense to them, of course - they are lovely people, if slightly nerdy, but so am i!), i feel like i can actually have a proper conversation. But i'm not attracted to them. Some may think that really shallow, but, to me, there should be at least some "spark" of passion behind a relationship, shouldn't there? It wouldn't feel right, dating someone who was my friend - i would never see them as anything more than just a friend.

I am by no means experienced, but i can already see that relationships are complicated. I'm not really looking for love at the moment though - i'm single...and socially anxious!! Relationships can wait - i'm happy being friends with too many nice, polite, nerdy boys to go and ruin it by asking one of them out.

Have yall found ways to FORGET crushes??!??!?! thats what interested me on this thread...

Cuz my SOUL MATE is in China and i will never get to see him again

its been 2 years... not over him.

Reholla said:

Have yall found ways to FORGET crushes??!??!?! thats what interested me on this thread...

Cuz my SOUL MATE is in China and i will never get to see him again

its been 2 years... not over him.

Click to expand...

I don't think it's possible to just consciously erase somebody from your memory. I had a crush on a foreign exchange student from Ukraine in high school. I'll be reminded of her sometimes and those feelings do come back.

I think what Weak said about diverting attention to another person makes sense. Ever since I've met this new person, I just stopped thinking about Mrs. Ukraine.

I will tell you how to stop liking a crush: just masturbate while you think of them doing you, that way you get all that tension out, and next time you see them, you will be relieved, ie no tension, relaxed, etc. Just remember to keep masturbating as long as you have to in order to release all that built up tension. Another thing you can do is to have many eggs in one basket, because if one egg breaks, you always got some others lol. Oh yea, like someone else here says, just be their friend, the more you're around them, and hang out with them, the more the fantasy fades- always works for me! These guys I fantasize about that I end up hanging out with all turn out to be dorks lol. Hope that helps!

Ok, I have advice for you, and I mean it:

Realize that you'd probably fall in love with a new girl every year or so anyway, and every single time you're going to think that the one you're in love with at the time is the best ever.

Unless she's really, really, unique in some way... I say, don't even worry about it. Plus when you're as bored and depressed as us SA sufferers, any intense stimulation like falling in love/crushing is going to seem like fun.

You'll get over it, girls should only be the icing on the cake in life anyway.

Ubersonic said:

Reholla said:

Have yall found ways to FORGET crushes??!??!?! thats what interested me on this thread...

Cuz my SOUL MATE is in China and i will never get to see him again

its been 2 years... not over him.

Click to expand...

I don't think it's possible to just consciously erase somebody from your memory. I had a crush on a foreign exchange student from Ukraine in high school. I'll be reminded of her sometimes and those feelings do come back.

I think what Weak said about diverting attention to another person makes sense. Ever since I've met this new person, I just stopped thinking about Mrs. Ukraine.

Click to expand...

Yeah, if i HAVE met a guy to get over him I WOULD HAVE MOVED ON... but i HAVENT........... what he said to me the first time we talked i WILL NEVER forget.. and most people i have talked to about this, have said, yea you will always remember something like that. I was leary about soul mates before, but after meeting him, THEY EXIST.

but i am accepting reality. i am not gonna be the dumb girl dreaming her life away waiting on her supposed soul mate to come find her. My grandma said, well everyone has a twin, go out and find his! lol Chinas markets ARE falling, maybe he will realize that and come back the US.. lol. It would just make it ALOT easier if i already found some one to FORGET him.... i have liked him more than any one i have ever dated/ liked in the past. its so bad.

as usher says "you goti it, you got it bad..."