How do you tell someone to shut up, in a nice way?

WishingICould

Well-known member
I work with an older woman who can sometimes be unbearable. She has a lot of drama when it comes to her personal/family life. I am a pretty good listener but she is just too much. She has 4 daughters, one is an alcoholic and the other 3 have other issues as well that i won't bore you with. All she talks about are her problems, whether it's her daughters or her husband, who she's constantly moaning about.

One minute her and her husband are apparently not talking and she "hates" him then the next day things are fine and she's saying he's booked them a holiday. I understand that she has problems, so do i but i don't go around telling everyone at work my personal problems. I'm 25 years old, i don't come to work to listen to a middle aged woman telling me every tiny detail of her, frankly tragic, family problems.

I suffer from depression but i don't go around telling people because i don't think it's anybody's business. She just doesn't seem to care who knows her personal business, it's like she's almost proud of it and likes the attention. I'm really getting sick of having to listen to her problems, a lot of which it sounds like she's brought on herself.

Is there any nice way i can tell her to at least tone down the talking? And yes, i HAVE to work with her. I'm stuck with this woman 8 hours a day.
 

bcsr

Well-known member
"I don't mean to be rude, but I'm having trouble concentrating on my work"

Or if it's acceptable at your workplace, just wear ear buds and listen to music. :D
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I know this type! It's like they have absolutely no self awareness or they could just care less. They love attention. Let's talk about me me me me.......ad nauseam.
You could be polite about it. I don't know if that will help much. It's a bad situation. I just end up ignoring them to the point of rudeness.
 

coyote

Well-known member
tape this poster up by your work area:

duct-tape.jpg
 

Lamb

Well-known member
Is it possible you can bring it up to management or a higher up so they speak to her instead of you? This can help if you're not the only one that has experienced this.

Or can she take up an additional project? Might help keep her preoccupied.

The only thing I can think of saying is it's hindering your productivity which isn't exactly nice. She may or may not get offended.
 

WishingICould

Well-known member
Is it possible you can bring it up to management or a higher up so they speak to her instead of you? This can help if you're not the only one that has experienced this.

Or can she take up an additional project? Might help keep her preoccupied.

The only thing I can think of saying is it's hindering your productivity which isn't exactly nice. She may or may not get offended.

Well, the thing is, it's sort of seen as a running joke amongst the staff. Even my boss makes jokes about her because everybody knows what she is like. I don't dislike her but she can be very draining to be around.
 

Lamb

Well-known member
If that's the case, I think the best option is approaching your boss and letting him/her speak to her.

If you feel you can't trust your boss to keep your name disclosed, I'd say something like this. "Can I have a word with you if you have some time to spare? I do enjoy our conversations, but they've been hindering my ability to focus on my work." And then you can suggest some times ( say during lunch or when you're not busy) that you can talk, if you want to keep in goodstandings with her.
 

WishingICould

Well-known member
If that's the case, I think the best option is approaching your boss and letting him/her speak to her.

If you feel you can't trust your boss to keep your name disclosed, I'd say something like this. "Can I have a word with you if you have some time to spare? I do enjoy our conversations, but they've been hindering my ability to focus on my work." And then you can suggest some times ( say during lunch or when you're not busy) that you can talk, if you want to keep in goodstandings with her.

I might give that a go. Thanks. :)
 
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