how many of your parent's argue?

Before you tell me it's normal for couples to argue every now and then (which I can understand), however with my parents, I don't think they can go at least for one or two days without ripping at each other's throats. I'm serious. I've truly never in my life have seen a married couple argue constantly almost every week as much as these two do! And just when they finished fighting about their old argument, a new one sparks up right after. Whenever they do start to argue, it's impossible for them to stop right after it happens. They'll just continue at it for as long as they allow it to. I've even been a victim at some points where I'm forced to listen to them shout loudly at each other, calling each other names, curse at each other, and they may not realize it, but it does affect my mood and myself in general. The more I hear them arguing, the more depressed and less motivated I start to become. It's scary! It's very rarely that we even start off the days good and continue to make them last good. Something will always tend to come up, there's always something that will set either one of them off and that's all it will take for either one of them to get fired up. All hell breaks loose afterwards (the worst part). I won't deny that my own family is terribly dysfunctional and there are certain members of my family who can't be trusted (or whom my parents have trouble trusting now.)

To make matters worse, whenever my parents do fight in front of me, I feel myself start to panic and quickly get emotional. Somehow, I try and remain strong, but the pain is so hard to take in. It hasn't been like this recently even. My parents have always been like this for years, ever since I've pretty much lived with them my whole life. I'm actually terrified that if I do start to cry in front of them, that that would really boil their anger and they'd shout at me to stop crying. I just don't know if I can take living like this... although I wish it was easier for me to just say I should deal with it, it's very very difficult. It's difficult when I have to try and hide my emotions when I'm around other people who are in better moods than me. I don't want to make any one else feel miserable because of my own problems. I think this will be one of them most ultimate stresses in my life to endure.

Ive only seen my parents get into it real bad once and I think it was because my mom was acting sketchy and sneaking off in the middle of the night. It scared the crap out of me because I thought my whole world was about to come crashing down. Now dad just walks away if any sort of disagreement pops up between them which is probably the only thing that keeps peace because mother is the debating type. Im sorry that happens though, Ive heard it said that as a general rule you shouldnt fight in front of your kids.

I know exactly how you feel! My parents have always fought, ever since I was little. They never talk to each other, and even if they do they can't have one conversation without it turning into an argument. I don't think I've ever seen them get along. And just like you said, it always affects my mood too. They're mostly why I have really low self esteem. The minute they start yelling and cursing at each other my mood just drops and I go to my room. I don't think they realize how it affects me and my other 2 siblings. They always fight over the same stuff that they've been arguing about for YEARS. It's just pointless. Both of my siblings are older than me but we've never tried to get them to stop. I'm pretty sure that'll just make things worse and make them more angry. It's really annoying and I try really hard not to cry about it in front of them.

Megaten said:

Ive only seen my parents get into it real bad once and I think it was because my mom was acting sketchy and sneaking off in the middle of the night. It scared the crap out of me because I thought my whole world was about to come crashing down. Now dad just walks away if any sort of disagreement pops up between them which is probably the only thing that keeps peace because mother is the debating type. Im sorry that happens though, Ive heard it said that as a general rule you shouldnt fight in front of your kids.

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I'm sorry you had to go through that . I think my dad is also kind of similar of how he chooses to handle his arguments with my mother. He's the type of person who tends to get hot tempered and impatient very quickly, so when he it seems that he's unabe to get his point across no matter how hard he tries, he'll have this short fuse and walk away from the situation. The way my mother knows how to deal with arguments, is that she'd always say "Whatever. just get out!" "Stop, I don't want to fight with you, alright!?" This is usually their way of ending an unresolved argument most of the time. There's times I'm even in the car and I have no choice but to listen to them shout at each other (my dad scares me a little when he raises his voice loudly. It's very intimidating.) I was forced to go through with it when I was younger too, sitting in the backseat and listening to them fight and giving each other the silent treatment. Whenever I did look like I was about to cry because of this, they'd become confused and ask "Jaime, what's wrong?" As if they completely are unaware of my own feelings. Completely acting as if I'm not at all there with them when this happens.

My god, I wish my family members had better relationships than this. I truly do. If that were the case, I don't think I would be half as depressed as I feel now. I used to just think that maybe this is just a phase that a lot of people go through in life, that maybe it would change for the better. From the looks of it, I'm not seeing much change and perhaps never will. I think my parents probably think themselves venting out and expressing their emotions is healthy. Well, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but when they allow their own anger to take control over them, it seems like they don't realize it themselves how much this could possibly destroy the relationships we have together. I don't believe that it's healthy for a married couple/umarried couple to be arguing so much, to be so angry at one another for almost everything. My parents, half of the time, will have arguments before we leave to go to events/parties, and there I am in the middle of it having to listen to their every word. I know that nothing I say will help to stop their constant bickering. Unfortunately, the only way I know how to deal with this is just go along with it and bare my teeth as much as I can.

Indigo299 said:

I know exactly how you feel! My parents have always fought, ever since I was little. They never talk to each other, and even if they do they can't have one conversation without it turning into an argument. I don't think I've ever seen them get along. And just like you said, it always affects my mood too. They're mostly why I have really low self esteem. The minute they start yelling and cursing at each other my mood just drops and I go to my room. I don't think they realize how it affects me and my other 2 siblings. They always fight over the same stuff that they've been arguing about for YEARS. It's just pointless. Both of my siblings are older than me but we've never tried to get them to stop. I'm pretty sure that'll just make things worse and make them more angry. It's really annoying and I try really hard not to cry about it in front of them.

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I'm so sorry *hugs* I know what that feels like . I just don't know if our own parents even realize how much it hurts us when we see them arguing with one another. Most of the time pretty much, my parents will always bring up something to argue about, whether if either one of them has said something that might come across offensive to the other (which usually is the case), whether either of them disagree to going somewhere/buying something that requires them to work (painting, using new carpets, buying a shed, ect), when either one of them gets impatient and they complain about how we won't get to a certain place on time, ect. All of these things that they argue about, I have to ALMOST always become a part of it. No matter how much I try to ignore them and my own feelings, I still find this hard to accept that this is the kind of life I'll be forced to live through my whole life until I die. I can't explain to my parents how much it upsets me to hear them argue so much, but I'm 100% sure they'd just tell me I'm probably overeacting (of course, there's gotta be something wrong with me -_-) or that they'll just say that's what parents do and to just deal with it.

Well to be perfectly honest, I think in this case it's different. I haven't seen/met a lot of parents I came across so far that has acted anything like my parents at all. Now I know there may be times when couples will have their feuds and disagreements, but up to the point where they allow it to become a constant thing? No, uh-uh, that I don't believe is healthy. It's scary how I've actually somewhat grown so used to my parents, slamming doors at each other, yelling (from downstairs, in the car, even in stores), and even to go as far as furiously throwing things. I always have to keep my mouth shut and do my best to not interfere with their problems. If either of my parents see me in the slightest of tears, that would only worsen the situation and I'd be the one who gets yelled at next. It's funny that I'm the only one at an event/party who's depressed while other people are having a good time. Never has it once been the other way around. Never.

My parents are very similar. They are always at each others throat. Usually my mom starts the fights and my dad just clueless why she is starting them defends himself and she gets angry at him for it. Hell she even asked me and my brother if she should leave him, we said no. I'm closer to my dad then my mom because in my opinion my mother is very controlling and not understanding.

Indigo299 said:

I know exactly how you feel! My parents have always fought, ever since I was little. They never talk to each other, and even if they do they can't have one conversation without it turning into an argument. I don't think I've ever seen them get along. And just like you said, it always affects my mood too. They're mostly why I have really low self esteem. The minute they start yelling and cursing at each other my mood just drops and I go to my room. I don't think they realize how it affects me and my other 2 siblings. They always fight over the same stuff that they've been arguing about for YEARS. It's just pointless. Both of my siblings are older than me but we've never tried to get them to stop. I'm pretty sure that'll just make things worse and make them more angry. It's really annoying and I try really hard not to cry about it in front of them.

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Sorry for the random comment, but it's crazy that you and I have a similar name because we're both new.

Anyway, I remember being really shaken up about my parents explosive arguments a few times, but for the most part my parents are both really passive people.

Really passive people until they explode.

Well it is normal. Something have got to give. In my advice is to interviene and tell them to

D. Remind them that when they get old both of them are going to share the same elderly residence.

B. Have a family discussion to find who is the aggressor and what the over all problem is.

C. The easiet solution is to call your grand parents and tell them everything in front your parents. Then call your great aunts and uncles, and then aunts and uncles. I would start with the fathers side. In my case my mother side is against my father.

A. Tell them to Shut the #@$@! up, and stop complaining about things that mean nothing.

Reality in my life my mother and father will not back down. Both of them are the aggressor and both have issues. It is like watching the fight in the end of "Star Wars IV" between the two fleets. They keep firing and countering each other. Nowadays my mom takes out her bs on me and father verbal abusive language continues even without him knowing it.

So I gave you both options. Eventually as older man you will have the ball and be in charge of them as elderly people. It is like a game of American football with responsibilities. The ball will be in your hands and your parents needs to come clean and stop acting like kids.

Lets say your the son. Talk to your dad in private and understand him. Lets say your have a bond with your mother. Talk to her in private about things. Eventually one of them will give and then come back around to you.

All 3 of them. They just don't get along!