Stressball
Well-known member
Just wanted to reach other to others and see if anyone else is feeling the same way. For a long time I explored the root reason as to why I have increasingly severe social anxiety and finally accepted it was due to my appearance. When I was a young kid, I was considered cute. I'd get endless compliments over how pretty and cute I was. I know its shallow, but as I got older and hit ****rty everything changed, like 360 degrees and I felt this pain inside me. All compliments stopped and friends of my family would give me puzzled looks instead.
My mother started to become really concerned over my weight gain and when she was having bad day she'd sometimes attack my physical appearance, calling my forehead or nose too big or nitpick at how fat I was. I'd ignore it and lash out back to make her feel worse, but the words cut so deep. If I had my hair tied up she'd tell me my face looked "softer" and less harsh with it down. She'd also say I'd get a boyfriend if I wasn't fat. Of course I knew I was overweight, but eating and video games became my escape and comfort more then ever. I got a kind of high and excitement from eating especially that I got nowhere else. I felt unpopular, ugly and inferior to everyone around me and it only got worse the older I got. I'd try to escape by focusing as much of my energy as possible on my passions, especially art, and got many compliments for it, but it never got rid of the fat ugly boring person I felt inside and out.
Did you struggle the same way? These days I hate my appearance more then ever, now that I'm older and everything's starting to age and sag. I feel frustrated knowing the only way I can look attractive is through plastic surgery and living in the gym. I *know* I should exercise and eat well for my health, but the vain depressed side of me keeps saying no matter how much I exercise and get fit, I'll still have an ugly face so what's the point? I'm trying to let go of that, of my ego, but I feel so ashamed to admit the frustration of feeling less then optimal due to an ugly appearance just consumes most of my waking days. Anyone else struggling with this or found some peace?
My mother started to become really concerned over my weight gain and when she was having bad day she'd sometimes attack my physical appearance, calling my forehead or nose too big or nitpick at how fat I was. I'd ignore it and lash out back to make her feel worse, but the words cut so deep. If I had my hair tied up she'd tell me my face looked "softer" and less harsh with it down. She'd also say I'd get a boyfriend if I wasn't fat. Of course I knew I was overweight, but eating and video games became my escape and comfort more then ever. I got a kind of high and excitement from eating especially that I got nowhere else. I felt unpopular, ugly and inferior to everyone around me and it only got worse the older I got. I'd try to escape by focusing as much of my energy as possible on my passions, especially art, and got many compliments for it, but it never got rid of the fat ugly boring person I felt inside and out.
Did you struggle the same way? These days I hate my appearance more then ever, now that I'm older and everything's starting to age and sag. I feel frustrated knowing the only way I can look attractive is through plastic surgery and living in the gym. I *know* I should exercise and eat well for my health, but the vain depressed side of me keeps saying no matter how much I exercise and get fit, I'll still have an ugly face so what's the point? I'm trying to let go of that, of my ego, but I feel so ashamed to admit the frustration of feeling less then optimal due to an ugly appearance just consumes most of my waking days. Anyone else struggling with this or found some peace?
Last edited: