How much social contact is too much

Hi guys,

I was wondering if anyone else have this problem:

when I make an online or real life friend

-the friendship either fizzles out because the other person doesn't seem interested in keeping in touch

-or they require so much contact that makes me uncomfortable.. (for exampley they message me multiple times every day)

I hardly know anyone who can find the balance between the two.

My question is how much social contact is too much for you?

It depends on the person. With some friends, going out all the time increases my anxiety. That's probably because they are very boisterous and don't seem to have any boundaries. I can only take that in small doses.

What is wrong with being messaged multiple times a day? That's not much at all to me. I would love it if people messaged me every day just to see how i am... Maybe i should start messaging people just to see how they are...

Witty_Name0_0 said:

What is wrong with being messaged multiple times a day? That's not much at all to me. I would love it if people messaged me every day just to see how i am... Maybe i should start messaging people just to see how they are...

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Not everyone is comfortable with the same levels of social contact...Hence the thread. Obviously the OP is not the type who wants to socialize multiple times a day. And there is nothing wrong with that.

these friends that message you several times a day, what do they want, just to chit chat or do they want you to hang out?many people are just lonely and constantly need to be connected to others to feel right..

with me, with the few friends i still have, if i talk to them once a week im lucky as i dont have much to say really and i dont like simple chit chat..im in my 30s though so you youngsters probably have a different set-up..i could tolerate more social time when i was younger..

most friends i have come across in my life have always wanted more social time than i was either willing or able to give..they wanted to hang out multiple times a week or stop by unannounced and it was just too much..the messed up thing is even the introverted people ive met needed more contact than i wanted so..all i can say is its very hard to find the right friends..

Thanks everyone for the replies

bsammy said:

these friends that message you several times a day, what do they want, just to chit chat or do they want you to hang out?many people are just lonely and constantly need to be connected to others to feel right..

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I have people online who send me messages about their lives all the time even if nothing interesting has happened and others just seem to be bored and lonely like you said.

In real life I have a friend who comes over (sometimes uninvited) and stays over 10 hours every time which is a bit too long and uncomfortable for me....

It's kinda hard to tell people the truth that I need more space because most of them tend to get offended or they just don't understand it and keep being clingy.