How SA has ruined my life - Page 2

anders055 · 05-20-2009

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A relationship must not diminish the quality of life of either involved.

Klytus.....She didn't have a better life before me. She was so scared of public speaking that she wanted to leave a job we were both working at rather than face it. I had no problems with public speaking and i tried encouraging her and loved her inspite of it. She didn't do the next job because she didn't want to do Sales which meant selling and sometimes coming across an irritated customer. Never did i think low of her.

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If his mental disorder caused the girl unhappiness and less enjoyable a life than she had prior to being with him, it's very understandable she left.

When we met we were each other's best friends, we enjoyed each others company and went to a lot of great places...something she didn't have before. She used to complain i dont put our photos on a social networking site...but i never put any photos....i just felt that our photos are personal but she thought that i didn't love her.

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I guess the anxiety attack he had in front of her was sufficient a sign for her to stay away.

This was at the end of a day and i was so tired. We were supposed to meet and she was really rude on the phone. When we met i was breathing heavily and she actually walked away instead of holding my hand. All i wanted was some love. My SAD used to come into effect when she wanted to go these parties where all these rich/hip people go and i had a huge inferiority complex. Yes i had social anxiety, but when you lose someone close to you, someone you love, someone whom you've always supported no matter what.....it hurts.

In retrospect, it would have been so much easier to go to those parties and save my relationship rather than suffer the pain of break up which I'm going through right now.

Rodox · 05-20-2009

If she let you go only because of that she wasnt worth anyway,you deserve someone better.

Lea · 05-20-2009

Looks like the girl wasn´t worth it anyway. When she needed at the beginning you helped her but when she got better and you run into problems she was rude and left.

I think you just have some crisis, this is normal. You cannot be that hopeless if you can do public speaking and find a girlfriend. If you could find this one, chances are you manage to find someone else as well.
What do you think triggered your anxiety attacks btw? Maybe it was even the gf?

Argamemnon · 05-20-2009

I can never relate to people who have girlfriends or boyfriends. To me, finding a partner is as likely as reaching the stars.

jamez · 05-21-2009

It's probably a good thing, so you can learn to stand on your own two feet. Learn from it and move on. The pain will ease. Seriously, never rely on someone so much, it's not good for either person.

I_Walk_Alone · 05-21-2009

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Originally Posted by anders055

Klytus.....She didn't have a better life before me. She was so scared of public speaking that she wanted to leave a job we were both working at rather than face it. I had no problems with public speaking and i tried encouraging her and loved her inspite of it. She didn't do the next job because she didn't want to do Sales which meant selling and sometimes coming across an irritated customer. Never did i think low of her.

When we met we were each other's best friends, we enjoyed each others company and went to a lot of great places...something she didn't have before. She used to complain i dont put our photos on a social networking site...but i never put any photos....i just felt that our photos are personal but she thought that i didn't love her.

This was at the end of a day and i was so tired. We were supposed to meet and she was really rude on the phone. When we met i was breathing heavily and she actually walked away instead of holding my hand. All i wanted was some love. My SAD used to come into effect when she wanted to go these parties where all these rich/hip people go and i had a huge inferiority complex. Yes i had social anxiety, but when you lose someone close to you, someone you love, someone whom you've always supported no matter what.....it hurts.

In retrospect, it would have been so much easier to go to those parties and save my relationship rather than suffer the pain of break up which I'm going through right now.

Hmmm, bit different from the OP, eh?

She's a woman, its not hard for them to get the wrong idea.

And plus, by the gist of your above post she sounds pretty shy, almost like she had a mild panick attack when you did. Was it in public?

Oh, and BTW, there are plenty of fish in the sea. But ofcourse you wont care until you actually catch one.

Thats how it goes right?

mndigi · 05-21-2009

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Originally Posted by anders055

I lost my girlfriend of 4 years due to my social anxiety. I could afford losing everything else but not her. She was my support, she was everything I had and i lost her....hate myself for having SA now. Its ok (well at least till a point) that i lost friends lost out on fun etc because of SA but when you lose your life's hope it will depress you to such an extent there will be no future whatsoever.

To everyone who has SA : I'm 26 now and have lost everything due to SA. If you have SA then please snap out of it. Or else one day you'll lose whatever you have. If you are young you can at least gain a lot by beating your anxiety. It's late for me now, but for everyone else just try and snap out of it, you don't want to be in my position at my age.

Here is what i went through in my teens and early 20's

Getting scared to go to the shop on the other end of the road
Running away from parties..not going even when invited
Scared to go out of my apartment at night
I would never go to other people's houses.
would stay at home for days 5 to 10 days continuously
Joined a library...but didn't go there for 5 to 6 months
would get bullied easy and would never fit in

Wondering if anyone else can tell me if they had such similar problems?

Then i didn't know better and didn't have anyone to help. Parents used to ridicule me for not going out and i would not be able to defend myself. You yourself don't know that you're suffering so its really crazy.

I had an anxiety attack in front of my girl and all she could was tell me to go see a shrink....i so wanted her to hold my hand. I lost her soon after...

And her loss has put me in so much depression that i see no future for myself. Don't know why i had to be unlucky enough to have SA--it absolutely ruined my life

I faced much the same things, other than never having a girlfriend, and actually going out at night because then no one could see me or see very less of me. So you aren't alone.

Frankly, I don't believe that you can hope for a girl/woman to understand you forever and ever. For how long do we court our partners, 1 year? 2 years? 3 years? How can you hope for self-sacrifice from someone whom you have known for only a handful of years!

But any way, SA has ruined my life quite a lot. But that's OK. A neutral observer will tell us that we have many decades of life before us. And therefore a chance to actually live it.