manicexpressyv
Member
Not being able to remember the name of someone you just met can cause a lot of anxiety. Instead of connecting with what the person is saying you are trying to think of their name. It can keep you from getting to know someone better, or just occupy your thoughts when you should be trying to stay present. This can be really tough, especially in larger social situations such as parties or bars. I used to have a ton of trouble remembering people's names and I felt like it was holding me back. I made an effort to correct this and now I have very little trouble. In fact, I'm usually the one my friends go to when they can't remember someone else's name! Here's some key points that will help you fix this issue:
1. While this is sort of a prerequisite, you have to start with a solid introduction. Extend your hand at about waist level (if standing) and look at their eyes (not their hand). Clasp their hand so that the webbing between your thumb and index finger is touching theirs. Keep your hand perpendicular to the ground. Try to MATCH the force they are applying. And say, "Hi, I'm NAME" or just "NAME".
2. Listen attentively when they say their name. It's okay to ask them to repeat it once or twice if you couldn't hear it. Now REPEAT their name out loud. This gives them the chance to confirm and helps cement it in your head.
3. For the next 5 seconds, repeat their name in your head several times. Usually someone will continue talking or one of you provide small talk. This means you can briefly devote half your attention to the conversation while you continue repeating their name in your head.
4. As you are repeating their name in your head, focus on their face and try to associate it with the name. i.e. "This is Rebecca".
5. If you forget their name, ask again and humorously bring attention to your mistake. It's not as bad as you think. Both people will want to move past it and continue the conversation. I used to use this ALL THE TIME. Even within a minute of being told, I would forget their name and then just ask again. "I totally forgot your name." "Tell me your name one more time?" It often helps to briefly bring attention to it to show that you realize it's slightly awkward and you're okay with that. "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names!" Or my favorite, "I always have to ask exactly twice." I highly recommend this when you're starting out.
6. If you forget someone's name and have a friend with you, ask them. This isn't always available but it certainly makes it easy when it is.
7. When departing, repeat their name one last time: "It was nice meeting you NAME." This helps you remember, and leaves a good impression.
8. (optional) Test yourself afterwards by writing down the names of each person you met. I do this sometimes when I've met a bunch of people (which, btw, is not too often, but I'm working on it!). Last night I had a particularly good, low anxiety night out. I met 12 new people and wrote down all their names when I got home.
Being able to remember people's names is a small thing, but it can give a nice boost to your confidence. Practice the tips above and you'll soon find it comes automatically!
1. While this is sort of a prerequisite, you have to start with a solid introduction. Extend your hand at about waist level (if standing) and look at their eyes (not their hand). Clasp their hand so that the webbing between your thumb and index finger is touching theirs. Keep your hand perpendicular to the ground. Try to MATCH the force they are applying. And say, "Hi, I'm NAME" or just "NAME".
2. Listen attentively when they say their name. It's okay to ask them to repeat it once or twice if you couldn't hear it. Now REPEAT their name out loud. This gives them the chance to confirm and helps cement it in your head.
3. For the next 5 seconds, repeat their name in your head several times. Usually someone will continue talking or one of you provide small talk. This means you can briefly devote half your attention to the conversation while you continue repeating their name in your head.
4. As you are repeating their name in your head, focus on their face and try to associate it with the name. i.e. "This is Rebecca".
5. If you forget their name, ask again and humorously bring attention to your mistake. It's not as bad as you think. Both people will want to move past it and continue the conversation. I used to use this ALL THE TIME. Even within a minute of being told, I would forget their name and then just ask again. "I totally forgot your name." "Tell me your name one more time?" It often helps to briefly bring attention to it to show that you realize it's slightly awkward and you're okay with that. "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names!" Or my favorite, "I always have to ask exactly twice." I highly recommend this when you're starting out.
6. If you forget someone's name and have a friend with you, ask them. This isn't always available but it certainly makes it easy when it is.
7. When departing, repeat their name one last time: "It was nice meeting you NAME." This helps you remember, and leaves a good impression.
8. (optional) Test yourself afterwards by writing down the names of each person you met. I do this sometimes when I've met a bunch of people (which, btw, is not too often, but I'm working on it!). Last night I had a particularly good, low anxiety night out. I met 12 new people and wrote down all their names when I got home.
Being able to remember people's names is a small thing, but it can give a nice boost to your confidence. Practice the tips above and you'll soon find it comes automatically!