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Old 11-18-2011  
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Default how to tell someone you don't want to do something with them

I have this friend...she lives down county but when we get together she expects me to drive down to see her
(which i wouldn't mind would it not be for the traffic in our area, especially since she always asks me to come at rush hour, yes DC rush hour...).
I understand she doesn't have a car..but even when i didn't i always rode the bus to see her...
We don't see each other often, but last week she asked if i wanted to come and go for a walk like we used to. We used to walk really far but i really don't want to because it's dangerous in that area and it gets dark and cold...and you don't even want to know what it's like...when we used to go we'd go to this wendy's where these ghetto boys would follow us and then yell they were going to beat us up because we ignored them...last week i told her i was scared to go down there and she was like oh come on we''ll be finnne

I put it off last week cuz i worked...i told her last week i don't work today...i have the feeling she might (possible she won't, but probably will) text me around 5 or 6 like "you wanna come" and i DONT. i just want to stay home, relax, and i got a ton of homework...

I don't have the money to sit in traffic for an hour (gas) and pay for parking (which you must down there) and then risk my life being harassed by crazy men down in that area...

how do i say nicely (if she does text me later) that i can't..
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Old 11-18-2011  
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Default Re: how to tell someone you don't want to do something with them

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Originally Posted by Etbow23 View Post
i just want to stay home, relax, and i got a ton of homework...
I don't know why this wouldn't sound nice if you told her this. If nothing else say you just CAN'T cuz of the homework.
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Old 11-23-2011  
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Default Re: how to tell someone you don't want to do something with them

I'm curious, did you go?
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Old 11-23-2011  
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Default Re: how to tell someone you don't want to do something with them

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I'm curious, did you go?
lol, we actually never got in touch. I think i obsess over things too much
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Old 11-23-2011  
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Default Re: how to tell someone you don't want to do something with them

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Originally Posted by Etbow23 View Post
We used to walk really far but i really don't want to because it's dangerous in that area and it gets dark and cold...and you don't even want to know what it's like...when we used to go we'd go to this wendy's where these ghetto boys would follow us and then yell they were going to beat us up because we ignored them...last week i told her i was scared to go down there and she was like oh come on we''ll be finnne
You'll be fine, hey? Sounds like it'll take one wrong move by anyone and you and your friend would get bashed. I can completely understand that you wouldn't want to put yourself through that. I wouldn't, either.

Your friend sounds like a bit of a thrill-seeker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Etbow23 View Post
i have the feeling she might (possible she won't, but probably will) text me around 5 or 6 like "you wanna come" and i DONT. i just want to stay home, relax, and i got a ton of homework...
There's been countless times where I've been invited by my mate somewhere and I have really, really, really, really, really not wanted to go. There's never a good enough excuse I can think of, though. For you, you should say you've got lots of homework and hopefully they'll understand and not pressure you into going.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Etbow23 View Post
I don't have the money to sit in traffic for an hour (gas) and pay for parking (which you must down there) and then risk my life being harassed by crazy men down in that area...
Or tell her that. Obviously with her not having a car she relies on you to drive and such but there's got to be some give and take.

Just out of curiosity: do you actually like her? I mean, you must like her to an extent, as she's still your friend, but is she someone you ever desire to hang out with?
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Old 11-23-2011  
Fen
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Default Re: how to tell someone you don't want to do something with them

Why don't you ask her to come and see you? Instead of going there, I mean.
If she is so willing to going out with you, she could make the effort for one time...
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Old 11-24-2011  
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Default Re: how to tell someone you don't want to do something with them

yeah i do when it comes to some things...but I don't think it's equal. Even when I didn't have a car I was always the one going down there, you know? It's like why do I always I have to go down there?
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