October
Member
hi guys 
it feels really good to come here, i haven't been on for a while, but i know that i don't have to censor myself or explain things too much because you 'get it'.
i'm a low functioning agoraphobic with severe social phobia as well as major depression. it's bliss... :lol:
well, to cut a long story short, i met someone online about a year and a half ago and we have become very close. i don't let very many people near me IRL because it is so hard. but i feel strongly about him and he feels the same way.
he is understanding of the way i live and we are speaking about him coming to visit me in december.
the practicalities of this are now really starting to play on my mind. i don't know how i am going to handle this intimacy and close contact of having him right there in front of me, the eye contact and just all of it. how am i going to open the door and not die right there on the spot?
if you were in my position, how would you handle the crippling nerves and panic? my friend thinks i will probably need a prop like valium to get through it at the start, and realistically, i think i would too.
i wish i could block out the sun and have everything in total and utter darkness. truly. i know it is extreme but i wish i could! and i feel guilty already, that he would travel all this way, and then have me being totally mental.
what would you do?
october xox
(thanks for reading)
it feels really good to come here, i haven't been on for a while, but i know that i don't have to censor myself or explain things too much because you 'get it'.
i'm a low functioning agoraphobic with severe social phobia as well as major depression. it's bliss... :lol:
well, to cut a long story short, i met someone online about a year and a half ago and we have become very close. i don't let very many people near me IRL because it is so hard. but i feel strongly about him and he feels the same way.
he is understanding of the way i live and we are speaking about him coming to visit me in december.
the practicalities of this are now really starting to play on my mind. i don't know how i am going to handle this intimacy and close contact of having him right there in front of me, the eye contact and just all of it. how am i going to open the door and not die right there on the spot?
if you were in my position, how would you handle the crippling nerves and panic? my friend thinks i will probably need a prop like valium to get through it at the start, and realistically, i think i would too.
i wish i could block out the sun and have everything in total and utter darkness. truly. i know it is extreme but i wish i could! and i feel guilty already, that he would travel all this way, and then have me being totally mental.
what would you do?
october xox
(thanks for reading)