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Old 05-11-2011  
Intermediate User
Toomuchfear's Avatar
 

Default I cannot speak around people

Hi.... I just wanted to share my horrible problem.

When I'm part of a group, e.g. a staff meeting, a party, or social gathering, I can't speak. It feels as if my mouth has been zipped up. I find one-on-one, I can talk to some degree, but when I'm in a group, I just sit there in silence. I think this is a consequence of people who have interrupted me so much before, or just simply half-listen to me. (this is where people notice that I've spoke, but don't act interested or responsive to what I've said)

The other day I was around acquaintances and they were talking quite happily and joking with each other. I really wanted to make an input.

I hate not being able to express myself, it makes me feel so lonely and depressed, I just want to run away from these situations and hide. I really don't know what do

What is the point in living if you cannot feel alive?
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Old 05-11-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

I can promise you this a thousand times over: people who interrupt or don't listen are not picking their targets.
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Old 05-11-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

Thing is, it is me that has the flaw, the majority of people who don't listen to me do listen to others who can express themselves well. They don't intend to be rude, they are used to confident and so******ed folk.

What is the point in living if you cannot feel alive?
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Old 05-11-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toomuchfear View Post
Thing is, it is me that has the flaw, the majority of people who don't listen to me do listen to others who can express themselves well. They don't intend to be rude, they are used to confident and so******ed folk.
That's it. I live these situations almost every day. People don't want to listen to someone who's mumbling and stuttering. And that's just because I think they will not be interested on what I have to say.

Maybe with a little more confidence we can have normal conversation with other people. How to get that confidence? I wish I know it
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Old 05-11-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

I have the same problem, but I tend to find it a bit easier when Im with best friend. But when other people are around I speak very very low, or not at all. If it comes to me being by myself, I just wont speak.....Shame really :(
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Old 05-12-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

I am exactly the same, because i "physically" don't talk around my staff at work i smile instead and say single words.
Its so embarssing they must think why is that girl not talking.
You are not on your own and hopefully we can get through this ! x
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Old 05-12-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

I am the same way. I'm ok with one-on-one but when there is a third or more, it's like a switch inside my brain gets shut off and I can't think of anything to say and if I do have something to say, I can never figure out the social cue of when to speak w/o interrupting someone else. I feel like I'm alive, but not living. I want be social, hang out with friends, dance when there is music, but no one wants me around.
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Old 05-30-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

I feel the same way, I usually get very nervous when Im with a group of people, Im definately more comfortable being with 1 person (or 2).
I hate it. People are talking, Im just there, wondering what I should say next, and when to say it, how to say it. Im not myself when Im like that, its like I turn into something Im not, and I cant get out of that mode once Im there. -I better just run away!
This is why I isolate myself, to not get into those kinds of situations.
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Old 05-30-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

^so relate.

eta: people think i am slow because i take a long time to say something. people who can speak quickly amaze me. i'm not stupid and i know what i want to say but when i get nervous my mind becomes clogged and it won't come out. not to mention i get shifty eyes which makes people not trust me despite the fact in reality i am extremely trustworthy. low self esteem is a b.

Last edited by dottie; 05-30-2011 at 11:09 PM..
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Old 05-30-2011  
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Default Re: I cannot speak around people

I really dislike meetings were they do round the table introductions. Waiting my turn until all eyes are on me to say something coherrent.

At meetings lately, or sometimes when I am speaking to another person, I have to stop, because I feel as if I will break into tears.

Then my anxiety really makes it hard to communicate, but this is usually one on one conversations.

I am only ever lonely in company, never in solitude.
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