I can't do this ):

Stargirl

Active member
I'm absolutely stressed. My transfer college hasn't given me the okay for accomodations yet because of my SA (medical single dorm and a small-sized emotional support dog), and now I finally got my room assignment and it's not a kitchen suite like I requested. Which means I'm required to have a meal plan. Which is not only loads more expensive, but FREAKS ME OUT!!! D:

I hate cafeterias. It's the crowds. My peers. Anxiety attacks. Which can be really traumatic for me; I just can't handle it. The whole judgment about what I'm ordering, how I order, how I fumble with the cash, who sees me walking away with food thinking I'm "fat enough". (I'm 130 pounds at 5'5", but my self body image sucks). I'm much more comfortable going to a grocery store with a bunch of middle-aged and elderly people than I am being anywhere around my peers ):

I almost feel like I should just withdraw from college right now. I can't do this. The anxiety is killing me!!!
 
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Sacrament

Well-known member
If you think you're gonna stutter when ordering, then you will. If you think you'll fumble with the cash, you will. Other people are gonna be so busy chatting and eating they won't even notice you. You need that exposure to get better.
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
If you can't get around the cafeteria, a little trick I play is to fake a limp. People see somebody gimping along and they feel guilty and look away. The few that even notice your nerves will just chalk it up to comorbidity and go back to being self-absorbed.
 
The people organising this for you seem to be incompetent, I think you need to contact them yet again and explain your request. Hopefully persistence will pay off :thumbup:
 

Monkish1

Well-known member
Been there. You're in a safe place. Plaster on a non-threatening expression and pretend nothing matters to you but finding a table and studying. Be friendly to cafeteria staff. You will be ignored by everyone else, and no one will care. It's probably good. College kids are nutters.

Or you could try the invisible bubble of safety. Personal favorite.

Good body image is hard to achieve for many young women. The opinions of others should mean jack compared to your own, so please be good to yourself. You are a human being, and deserve to be treated with respect.

Remember that others don't like to be judged either. Maybe a few of your peers won't be that bad.
 

Taden

Well-known member
I hate cafeterias. It's the crowds. My peers. Anxiety attacks. Which can be really traumatic for me; I just can't handle it. The whole judgment about what I'm ordering, how I order, how I fumble with the cash, who sees me walking away with food thinking I'm "fat enough". (I'm 130 pounds at 5'5", but my self body image sucks). I'm much more comfortable going to a grocery store with a bunch of middle-aged and elderly people than I am being anywhere around my peers ):

I have the same problems in public situations. I don't often leave my apartment without my husband, but even with him there, the idea of being watched, judged, and scorned from those around me is still always present in mind and can be very disabling. A solution instead of dropping out...:question: I imagine it would depend soley on what your interests are, but I find a "distraction noodle" technique works in this kind of situation. I will often lose myself to the music in my ipod or if I don't have that, I will sometimes have a book. Worry stones are also good for these kinds of purposes. I hope that I've given a helpful suggestion, and goodluck to you, truely. Don't give up such an amazing opportunity =]
 

Stargirl

Active member
Thank you everyone so much for all the replies!!! The earliest ones helped comfort me knowing that other people cared :) Also, the invisible bubble trick is something I've never thought of! I'll definitely have to try that!

Anyway, I ULTIMATELY DECIDED to look into apartments near my college. And I found a great townhouse designed for students literally right next to campus (I don't have a car, so this was important, lol)! I get my own room, there's a kitchen, and they even allow dogs!!! It's actually cheaper, has a bit more space, and looks nicer too! I've been communicating with the lease agent and I've already secured my spot. I'm so happy now! Even though I'm still anxious about everything, this definitely eases my anxiety. I'm very excited too because I get to meet the dog I'm trying to adopt soon :) Before, my parents weren't going to let me adopt one, but I talked with them about about the SA & depression thing, and they have been supportive about it. Thank goodness for parents who are willing to understand their children.

@hoddesdon - Emotional support animals are a thing in the states. They're different from service dogs in that you can't just take them anywhere. Renters and public college dormatories are required to allow them if you get a note from your doctor. And apparently, it allows you to fly on airlines with your pet right by you. ESA's are just regular pets and don't have any specific purpose other than to be a companion who helps you feel better :)
 
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