I can't imagine anyone wants to do anything with me...

seems like there never will be anyone interested. If I try to make a friendship, they don't want it. It's all just, business. Everyone probably already has close friends so they dont need anyone. They just consider me as an associate and would never want to consider me anything more. If I tried getting them to go out with me they are too busy, or just dont want to. Like.. they just CAN'T IMAGINE doing anything with me. I can't imagine them wanting to do anything with me.

Like.. everyone is too good for "making friendships" right now because... perhaps they've already had the same network of friends since high school or something. They dont need anyone else. They dont want anyone else. Especially me! Do they find friendships immature? Does nobody want friends anymore? I imagine people don't like to have friendships. That most of their attitudes towards friendship or companionship is just... negative like... it takes too much time, etc. they just want to f*ck and that's it. maybe make business connections or even then.. not with me. they seem to not want to deal with anything else. they just want to "live their lives" as if they have specific goals they want to acheive and don't have the time nor patience of a little concept of "friends".

Fuck friends right? we don't need them right? that's how everyone thinks. Not even relationships. yea fuck relationships. or at least, fuck myself. yea that's it. screw me, nobody should care about me I am destined to live a sick lonely life because, that's how life is, that's how evolutions makes it out to be.

I feel like I could do everything in the world to try and make a social life, but nobody would give me the other half that I need ie the support I need. I go somewhere, talk to people, etc. they want nothing to do with me. I try to change, and there's only so much that I can do.

I will be known as the loser, the lonely one. I didn't just move to this area. I've been here for a while. There's no "excuse". I just must be a lonely person. Would anyone care? Would anyone try to help me? I am reaching out, but nobody out there wants to offer a hand so...

or what is it. I have to just try EXTREMELY hard and BE DESPERATE in front of everyone?

That's not my experience. I have zero real friends.. here where I live. People have actually tried very hard to include me but because of my SA I have pushed them away. People that have tried to be my friend have drifted off because of me. Theres only so many times people will ask when the answer is always no then they just assume u dont want to be included and give up.

My old friend from many years ago has sent me a christmas card every year for the last god knows how many years..10?? Ive not made a jot of effort to contact her or return a card in fear she will call..etc Im almost hoping she drifts off so I dont have to talk to her out of fear.

Ive had countless invites from mothers at school and wives of my husbands friends..come join our book club, wine club..come out, come round for dinner etc...i just freak say no and never even think of going as an option. I never attend social evenings as a couple for things that my husband is involved with. Hes started taking my daughter or another lady as his guest.

Its making me mad I do this because although Im scared I crave company and friends.

I've never been invited anyhwere. Even when I had some friends.. they would never invite me. It's like people are stuck in their own network and just want to stay that way.

I've been invited before to events but the people who invited me know nothing about me they are just promoting their events they dont have any genuine interest in inviting me other than to just get more people to come to the event.

miss_amy said:

That's not my experience. I have zero real friends.. here where I live. People have actually tried very hard to include me but because of my SA I have pushed them away. People that have tried to be my friend have drifted off because of me. Theres only so many times people will ask when the answer is always no then they just assume u dont want to be included and give up.

My old friend from many years ago has sent me a christmas card every year for the last god knows how many years..10?? Ive not made a jot of effort to contact her or return a card in fear she will call..etc Im almost hoping she drifts off so I dont have to talk to her out of fear.

Ive had countless invites from mothers at school and wives of my husbands friends..come join our book club, wine club..come out, come round for dinner etc...i just freak say no and never even think of going as an option. I never attend social evenings as a couple for things that my husband is involved with. Hes started taking my daughter or another lady as his guest.

Its making me mad I do this because although Im scared I crave company and friends.

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wow, i never thought i'd see the day when someone else felt exactly like i did.
this is exactly the situation i am in.
i have old friends from high shcool...they have tried to keep in touch with me in college, but i pushed them away. i'm scared, but i dont want to lose them too.
after college i never spoke to my friends again. i deleted my facebook etc. i really wanted to email them to let them know that they were wonderful and that i just wanted to be alone for my own reasons, but i was always scared to. every time i go back to my hometown, i'm scared to bump into an old friend...it would be so awkward for me to talk to them and to explain myself. because i dont tell anyone about my social anxiety. i have tried to slip it into conversations (only with 3 people that i trust) that i just like being alone, and i have tried to justify it by saying people are different, and that i just happen to be an introvert...but when i can't talk about it properly...it's just too much...for me, and for the person hearing it. because there's nothing they can do for me, i am the only one who can control how i will get out of this.

i think it depends on your situation. the people i have lived
with have hardly any friends either, but there are some families who are just naturally more social and chatty. some streets or neighbourheads can also have a community element, others are cold and almost hermit like. Some suburbs are more bright and have a happy vibe, other suburbs are dark/grey and unkept. So the house + people + personalities + suburb + street atmosphere can have a big effect on your mood. For instance do you feel ok going for a run near where you live depending on the vibe. I think that this can have an effect on your mood and it can have an effect on the happy vs sad scale as well. This is all without taking into account personality as its own entity. Live in the inner city or the outter city? where the rich are and you notice how people are more happy and there are loads of people out running, they will stop and chat with you etc. the council looks after the local infrastructure and look of the streets. THe mood is happy. more so then further out from the city.

This can effect likelihood of making friends and belief in yourself.

So this means that alot of it actually comes down to false perception. you are actually a good person you just feel lost in your current world because of perception and negativity. you can change things for the better quite easily, just with some better planning of your life. Perhaps just start doing things you dont normally. like attending an event or a festival, place, then write the day down in a journal afterwards, keep doing it until you start finding other people and see how far you can take it.

double post bonanza! lol

yes my experience has been more like Amys.ive had many friends over the years ask and plead for me to go out with them over and over and once in awhile i would force myself out.they would always want to hang out and i put on a good social front or mask so they get very confused as to why i never want to hang out..my problem is, my social anxiety is there BUT im also very introverted and i am a loner, bottom line, i do enjoy my own time..i also have depression which makes it brutally hard to get in the mood to go out as well..so im fighting on several fronts and it makes it impossible to maintain friendships or relationships of any kind..i dont blame anyone for walking away from me..

for instance i have an old buddy that recently started calling and wanting to hang out..i have hung out with him once but he keeps calling and im already starting to avoid his phonecalls and not return them.i dont mean to be a jerk but for me, its just alot of work to maintain relationships, almost too much work when you are avoidant, depressed, introverted like i am..

im not sure what the solution is either, should we force ourselves out with friends and make ourselves miserable jalot of the time just so we can keep these relationships intact?ive tried doing that in the past but it just makes me unhappy so i dunno.

Guys, the OP got banned 2 years ago...

^so?whats your point?