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Old 11-03-2004
Johno's Avatar
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Hi All.

Just telling you how it is. Quite frankly most people whom I meet, I don't like. I recognise that it is my social phobia influencing my judgements in a negative way. I am fully aware that I am too sensitive and submissive when the conversation requires a more assertive approach to inact my desires. However quite often I find myself being amicable and compromising to avoid conflict. The soul purpose being to avoid conflict . Even though I may have not expressed my opinion or gotten my way. Often I recognise other peoples agendas as more essential than mine. It aggravates me so much. I am aware of it yet find it extremely difficult to overcome. Any advice would be much appreciatted. Cheeers
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Old 11-03-2004
Anonymous's Avatar
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I wish had some advice... but I'm the same way. :(
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Old 11-03-2004
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I'm the same way too. But people come across to me as selfish & self centered, they think of themselves as faultless and appear to look down on everyone else.

I thought I could find people like me that were not 'into themsleves' here at this site and other phob sites, but I am discovering I am forming the same opinon about the people here/there as well.

It's like everyone is signing that "I'm Too Sexy" song about themselves 24/7
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Old 11-03-2004
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((((( just because you have zero confidence doesnt mean we should all feel exactly the same.))))))

I didn't mention that I thought YOU SHOULD... did I? I was just stating how I felt.

And.... I have given peoples chances, chance after chance after chance. That's another reason why I FEEL THE WAY I DO and I'm not trying to sway anyone or think you should all feel the same way I do!! That was NOT my intention in the slightest.
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Old 11-03-2004
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I can't help or change the way I feel, eap. when I'm critised for it... that makes it even worse... but that's another reason that people vcome across to me that they think THEY are better than me, or have the better opinions or thought. They are wonderful and superior to me in every way. Yet.... I suppose I love MYSELF and think I'm superior because that's how everyone else comes across to me? Oh hell yes.
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Old 11-03-2004
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woe woe woe is me Ms. Wonderdoll, if ONLY if only if only I was as perfect and wonderful as you, then I could critise others negativty and be perfect too but... sigh.... but I suppose I love myself too much sighhh
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Old 11-03-2004
 

Damn, guest, out of all the people here you seem to have the paranoia problem the worst. Are you having therapy, because I really think you could use it to try to get rid of the negative energy build up instead of coming here and taking it out on people that are just replying to what you said...and actually you do come across as a little harsh so i see where worrydoll was coming from with her comments. No need to come back with a nasty comment, we have all been in your shoes at one point or another, I will just take it that your having a bad day :(
No ones perfect, we wouldnt be on this site if we were.
Anyways, hope ya feel better soon
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Old 11-03-2004
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I'm harsh & nasty lilmiss?
I suppose THIS is sweetness & cream------- ((((( give people a ****ing chance and stop slating them.))))) No problem tho... I would defend a friend as well.
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Old 11-04-2004
 

guest, its about time you starting taking things inthe right context, I know your socialphobic and its all part of it but you have to remember that other people are just as senstive so if you really want to take it out on someone try instead to think about thier feelings before making them feel like crap!
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Old 11-04-2004
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I'm like that too, as I'm sure most of us are. I think for me, I feel I'm not as impotant or worthy as others. So somehow I guess I need to realise I'm equally important and my thoughts, feelings etc are just as valid. I know this in theory but I need to put it into practise. I am getting better though. Assert our rights as human beings blah, blah. We are all allowed to make mistakes, get things wrong. I think that damn judge, UpDown posted about has a lot to answer for in this.
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Old 11-04-2004
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okay.. i am probably going to dig my grave even deeper here... but... i posted my orignal post hoping for someone that could relate to the way i felt.. not to hurt anyone or make them feel paranoid.. and i wasn't pointing any fingers at anyone.. i was just expessing how i felt--- right or wrong--- and it's everyone--not just here at this site.. i even feel that way about my siblings and the only people in the world i feel somewhat equal to is my parents..... being attacked and ridiculed for the way i feel doesn't help..it makes it worse actually... i try telling myself things aren't as they seem or appear, and it doesn't help and if i could just snap my fingers and make things right, i would because i hate my existence and hate feeling the way i do.. but i can't.. and my therapist can't help me either because she is helping me from a book or books--- she and the books don't really know how i feel or what is like, she just keeps insiting like you all are that i shouldn't feel the way i do.. okay... white flag... i surrender... you are all right... i am all wrong... you are all all the ones with the sensitivities... sorry..sorry...sorry.
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Old 11-04-2004
 

Guest, we are all insecure, thats what having Sp does to us. I also know we write stuff down on here to get it off our chests, most of us are here as its the only place we feel we fit in.
I know what you mean about therpists though, I've had three and I say the same about them. Reading it all from a book is easy, you have to go through SP to know what its like. I gave up on therapy as I thought all she wanted to do was prod and poke at my past and theorise about why I'm like i am.
By the way, i didnt say your opinions were wrong, i just said its wrong to take them out on anyone. I know how frustrating it can get and sometimes theres a need to let off steam. If anything, we are here to support each other. I hope you come to realise this because I'm sure, like us lot that you need a friend or two and I hope that we can be of some help to you as I'm sure you could be of help to us.
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Old 11-04-2004
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thanks lil, worry, and MP2, too.... i should have been more specific in my first post and maybe things would have been better? :( ...

i have been critisized, belittled as far back as i can remember.. i remember crying and feeling really bad about it and even blaming it for some of my hang ups... but i hear or read about others that had ideal childhoods and they suffer with sp-sa-disorders too, so i just don't know... but the thing is, i don't or can't (?) cry about it anymore, i just get angry-defensive about it... and that's what was happening in some of my posts... but worrydoll, you may be on to something that's made me think--- maybe i am unintentionally slating people-- and i do want to give them a chance--honest i do, but that's part of my problem-- i can't! :( and on one hand----i want to be like the people i 'see', that i feel insuperior or insignificant to.. or so entirely different from....but then again maybe i don't because i think some shyness or timidness is a good thing-- :?


I do take meds MP2 and i definately agree with your comments about them...i take 5 of them, and 4 of them say not to drive or operate machinery etc.--but yet-- I'm expected to see two shrinks 4 times a month and 2 of the meds are supposed to make me want to 'get out and socialize'-- but not by driving?? hmmm.. and 2 of the meds are supposed to fight depression but between the 2 have put 40something extra lbs on me and you think THAT isn't depressing? i suppose i'm expected to take my fat arse out and socialize on a skateboard. what a bunch of catch-22's this bs is...
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Old 11-04-2004
 

Blooming hell, youll be needing more pills to counteract the side effects of the pills your already on. I knew that some of the medication can make you feel spaced out and drowsy but some of the side effects seem to cancel out the good effects. Aren't there alternative medicines you can take that wont have such side effects?
I have to ask as I wont take any medication as I have to be careful with what I take due to the tablets I am on from my renal transplant.

Is everyone here on meds? and if so do you think the good effects out weigh the side effects?
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Old 11-04-2004
-Jp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johno
I recognise that it is my social phobia influencing my judgements in a negative way. I am fully aware that I am too sensitive and submissive when the conversation requires a more assertive approach to inact my desires.
finaly someone who recornizes scoia phobia is influencing him in his judgements
half of the posts i read on the forums seem like most people have no or poor developed ideas about this

social anxiety is a limiting disorder, when things don't work out the way you like in social situations you can bet in 95% of the cases your social anxiety is keeping you from doing a good job at it.

Educate yourself! there are alot of recources out there that explain how social anxiety works and what you can do about. don't expect things to get any better while you are suffering from social anxiety, they will be you start working on it and it lessens.

try doing a search in emule
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