WHY is it that most people think everyone else is just like them when it comes to being alone? They are so sure that no one wants to be alone and cannot possibly enjoy it. I am one of those people who TRULY LOVE it! I DON'T see this as a "phobia", though some people do. WHY?? I have never been a needy person. I have no need to live with anyone because the truth is I find too many people annoying and cannot wait to get away from them. I have a partner and he's a good person who I love but just cannot see myself living with him. I love that he can spend time with me---but then go back to his place. I have a few close and really good friends who I can count on but I don't want to be in their company all the time. I never felt the need to have kids. I don't even like them. I've seen so many selfish brats who don't care about their parents. I adore babies, but forget kids. So many of them are hyper and won't keep still. Once a month I visit my elderly Aunt in a nursing home and I think to myself "So this is what kids do to their parents". Her kids hardly ever visit her. There are so many old people this happens to. When I am out at a party, I get so BORED listening to people talk about the lives of their kids that all I keep thinking about is getting the hell out of there and going home to my dog and cat. Ordering a pizza and watching a good movie. I cherish these times. It is a piece of heaven for me. Why do some people refuse to believe that some of us TRULY love being alone?? Some people are just so weak and needy that they would end their very lives from being alone! I feel so sorry for them. Does anyone think there is something "wrong" with me just because I am strong and not a needy person?
I Cherish Time Alone
- Thread starter lori2323
- Start date
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I used to be like that myself - very needy kinda person. But I realised most tend to find these sorta folk annoying, so stopped being that way - and became very introverted and shy. My family see it as a problem, but I don't really. I like being alone as well.
So, no, I don't see anything "wrong" with you enjoying your own company. So, ya sound just like me.
Though, to be fair, some people can't cope being on their own. Since they don't know how to pass time if they're not talking to someone about something.
James_phobic
Member
No, I agree. People often don't get it. And there's nothing wrong with ruling your own domain and enjoying your own freedom. Or jeez... have a different world-view about how you like to live your life. I've been alone (I'd like to say "independent") for over a decade, and weirdly I never even think about it most of the time. I rarely get lonely, but maybe that's because I've never known much different. So yeah, I think people are too quick to judge what is "a good life" without realizing how broad a spectrum that really is.
Pacific_Loner
Pirate from the North Pole
Well it's basically the difference between introverts and extroverts. Most introverts understand what you're saying and agree with you. Most extroverts freaks out when they are stuck home alone on a friday night.
I think it's also a matter of age: I remember being bothered as well when I was between 15 and 20 and stuck home alone with my parents on a friday or saturday night, but it was mostly because I couldn't stand my parents and felt like a loser. As an introvert, once I moved by myself, I realized there's nothing I enjoy more than an entire week-end not talking to anyone. I think you will also find that older people (30+), extroverts and introverts, will claim more easily their need of being alone than the younger people, because I guess they are less worried about being judged, their self-esteem is more fueled by personal accomplishment (career, family, travels) than social acceptance and popularity as it's often the case for younger people, and the general tiredness that comes with adult life and responsabilities makes it a lot more socially acceptable to need alone time.
I think it's also a matter of age: I remember being bothered as well when I was between 15 and 20 and stuck home alone with my parents on a friday or saturday night, but it was mostly because I couldn't stand my parents and felt like a loser. As an introvert, once I moved by myself, I realized there's nothing I enjoy more than an entire week-end not talking to anyone. I think you will also find that older people (30+), extroverts and introverts, will claim more easily their need of being alone than the younger people, because I guess they are less worried about being judged, their self-esteem is more fueled by personal accomplishment (career, family, travels) than social acceptance and popularity as it's often the case for younger people, and the general tiredness that comes with adult life and responsabilities makes it a lot more socially acceptable to need alone time.
To Frank Turner----No, I'm not "like everybody else deep down". I know who I am and I would NOT "feel a whole lot better" if I settle down. What is settling down anyway? I am already settled into the Joy of being on my own. No one is like "everybody else". Everyone is a different individual.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Fair enough, lori. That's how you take those lyrics. :thumbup:
But, to me, the "you're just like everyone else" line meant we all have struggles, not that we're all the same. And the line about settling down isn't talking about that expressing in a family / relationship / job sense. At least, that's not how I see those lyrics...
Also, I was in a pretty depressed state when I heard that particular Frank Turner song, originally. So it resonated with me, at the time. Now, not so much.
Anyway, sorry to get off-topic, there.