I don't need love or sex

Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Should I feel ashamed of this? I truly don't care much about the opposite sex (despite what I might have said on this forum a few times), but I'm certainly not gay..

Love and sex is something shared between two people, which is the reason why it's not my cup of tea. I can't and don't want to share things with other people (or as little as possible); I want to live a quiet life, which makes me much happier. I'm 31 and I have learned this by experience.

I have to add though that if I ever met an extremely introverted girl or woman, I would marry her, but I'm almost certain that I won't ever meet that "perfect" person.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
Doesn't your last sentence contradict that you don't care for the opposite sex if you say meeting an introverted girl you could marry one day?
 
jamez

jamez

Well-known member
Maybe you're asexual?

I know some people who are sort of like this. They don't talk too much about girls and hardly raise an eyebrow when a hot chick walks past them, but also don't believe them to be gay. Yea...I don't really get these people.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Richey said:
Doesn't your last sentence contradict that you don't care for the opposite sex if you say meeting an introverted girl you could marry one day?
Click to expand...
Hmm.. I don't think so, or maybe I'm not clear enough. I could never live together with an extroverted wife/partner, and I don't want to. But if it was possible to find a girl who has similar interests and who is very introverted too, and loves quiet just like I do, then I would like to share my life with her. But I'm perfectly happy being alone, which puzzles me.
 
IWouldPreferNotTo

IWouldPreferNotTo

Well-known member
If you have not have love or much sex by the time you're 30, going without it the rest of your life shouldn't be a big deal. You made it this far already.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
you can still fulfill those needs via masturbation though while still looking for a relationship, which doesnt make you asexual unless you dont masturbate at all, ever, completely devoid ....and it doesnt have to be over the physical fantasy of people, who's to say its wrong to do it while listening to depeche mode or your favourite musical mixtape?

ok i have deep rooted issues...

leaving now .....
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Or maybe you've accepted being alone because your issues prevent you from being able to be with anyone and so you convinced yourself that you're just fine by yourself.

Every human being needs to be accepted, needs to be around people and socialize, so to speak. Everyone needs family, friends and, ultimately, a soulmate.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
IWouldPreferNotTo said:
If you have not have love or much sex by the time you're 30, going without it the rest of your life shouldn't be a big deal. You made it this far already.
Click to expand...
I agree with you. Never had love or sex (I'm almost 32), and I don't feel the need anymore. I waisted my most "energetic" years without love and sex anyway..
 
krs2snow

krs2snow

Well-known member
Argamemnon, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Anxiety is the flip side of depression. If you suffer from anxiety, you most likely have also struggled with depression. Depression robs you from feeling like doing much of anything. This doesn't make you asexual, strange or unusual. It takes a lot of energy to get sexually aroused and to be attracted to someone and to want intimacy. I think your desires are just laying dormant inside of you, waiting for the right person and the right time to be set free.
 
whocares

whocares

Member
Argamemnon, we have much in common, I've read some previous post of yours so I know where you're going to. I used to think just like you, then I met this extroverted girl and thought we would never fit, but, believe me, when love is involved, much of your certainties suddenly cease to be so certain... :wink:
 
miss_amy

miss_amy

Well-known member
If you are happy without it then theres absolutely no reason why you should feel you have to have it. Sometimes I think we are expected to conform with the box house, the ford focus on the drive, 2.4 children and marriage. Most people seem to go along with this like lemmings.

Though I would say what I had in my head as my ideal man is completely different to who I ended up settling down with and being very happy with. There have been times when I felt I would be alone forever.

Why not just go along with how you are happy now and just leave the future open to decide as you go along as/when/if things happen. Nothing says you have to decide the rest of you life path now.
 
Moonie

Moonie

Well-known member
I would not exactly limit yourself to extremely introverted people. I have been with a few extroverted guys and had nice relationships with them. As long as they accept you for who you are and your lifestyle, then it can bring you some happiness. It's only a problem if they don't. Sometimes the contrast between an extrovert and introvert can make for a good team.
 
theman

theman

Well-known member
Arg,

I think you should go ahead with your plan, and stick strictly to it.

Check it out completely. Find out if you want to live like that. It might just be a perfect fit for you.

My life plan is a lot like yours. I picked a path, and stuck to it, regarless of what other people try to tell me.

It has worked out well. Better than I ever expected.

Mind you, my path is different from yours. I decided I wanted connection, love, sex, friendships, health, success, and happiness.

Not everyone I know wanted me to succeed at finding these things. Some people were even discouraging, I ignored them. Glad I did, because I achieve a little piece of the life I always wanted, every day now.

Ignore what other people tell you. If you have a plan in mind, even if it is one that includes no sex, no love, solitude, and introversion, GO FOR IT. Its the only way you'll ever know if its what you want in life.

HOWEVER - So far, I don't think you're doing a good job. You said in your post that you don't want to share things with people. This forum is a place for people to share the BIGGEST and MOST IMPORTANT thoughts and feelings they have. That is a LOT of sharing. What are you doing on this forum? Either you are lying, or you're not really going for it. Which is it?
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
The man,

It is really hard for me to share things with people, since I distrust most people. Online I feel very calm and can share practically everything. I wish I could find people I could trust completely and with similar personality traits.

And thanks everyone for your opinions and advice.
 
theman

theman

Well-known member
maybe I read your post wrong.

So do you DO want connection, just not when it comes with anxiety?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top