I don't understand myself

Of all the things that has happen to me, avoidance personality disorder was the most detrimental to my well being and happiness. Everyday I see the consequences that is surrounding my life or what is left of it.

I know that I'm a pretty attractive guy but every Friday night I am completely invisible to women. I don't know how to react and I do try my best to be confidence but when I see them with other guys, I completely shut down. Obviously, nothing would get done if I stay indoor but it scary being outdoor as well as it can make me bed ridden for days from things I see.

I don't know what it is with me why I can never fall in love. I guess I been left alone for far too long to know what to do.

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Rainbow Brite said:

From my experience, people will naturally ignore an individual, unless said individual approaches the person first. This may also be your problem with women specifically. That is probably why you feel invisible to women and feel left out, while the majority of other males do not suffer from this problem, thus approach women with more ease.

Now, as for your true love that you were talking about in the past, I have something to explain to you. From experience, I have also learned that people are naturally more willing to give up on others and this plays a major role in social situations. By this, I mean a person who is not suffering from social problems, is usually willing to give up easily on someone, if they can not understand the situation that the person with said social problems, is having; although this is not always the case. To clarify more, people in general, do not understand how you feel and it is impossible for them to. So because of this, the girl of your dreams for example, it was easier for her to just give up on you, because people do not want to be patient and try to understand things in which are impossible for them to understand; I notice this is something that people will naturally do, give up on another, if they can not figure them out.

I wish you the best of luck.

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No offence but it's hard to read your posts...(for obvious reasons)

Rainbow Brite

I wish a man and woman could play the same game. I hate seeing a woman with her friends or girlfriends as it make approaching them for me near dam impossible. But I guess from your experience, seeing a man alone is not attractive. I really don't understand women.

I did not suffer social anxiety when the girl of my dream approach me. I suffer from lack of experience and I let my past dictate that night still believing I wasn't good enough for her. I also didn't know what to say or do and I don't know what being myself mean (back then) because I never got to develop a true identity. It was a few months after I overcame my social anxiety and this is why it was so devastating because it was entirely my fault. Had I been honest, things would have been different.

Even without her, I had plenty of chances only for it to occurs during my social anxiety days. Chances I had after her occur during my panic attack days. Maybe I'm just not meant to be with someone? I know I can make a girl feel really special if given the chance.

Being alone that night was the only reason she decided to approach me and the countless opportunities I had with women happen when I was alone and I'm alone most of the time anyway so it doesn't explain why I'm completely invisible to women. My online friends tell me well maybe they do notice you, but I don't know what good that would do if I don't know they notice me.

And thank you for your rainbow reply! I just wish I knew how to take that next step.


P.S there is another girl i want to know, I have seen her twice on Friday nights but she never notice me until I was out with my boss. I hope I bump into her again and get to talk to her but doesn't help if I stay in door. These are all hard decision and sometime it just all random luck. You could be out all night or weeks and not find someone, stay in door for months walk out to the nearest restaurant or fast food place and there she is....idk

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I hope things work out, between you and this female, but if they do not, then you could use your mistakes as a way in the right direction.[/QUOTE]


You see I'm stuck in this predicament forever. A lot of these things don't pertain to me. Using my mistakes won't help when you have no other opportunities to use what you learn.