My dad's had depression most his life, and after my parents divorced he was around 50 odd, and he got really bad, saying lots of similar things to you...."whats the point of life? I have no talents,no future, etc", he even attempted suicide a few times,....but now, a few years on, and he's found another girlfriend, he's got himself a steady job and a nice home, and he even went to disneyland lasy year, which for him was amazing, cause he's barely travelled anywhere in his life....but my point is, that there is life after depression. Happiness is possible. To every problem there is a solution. Right now you have one view of the world. But there are millions of possible views to be taken of the world. You just need the lights turned on. That's what depression does to you...it makes everything seem dark. But it's not true. You're a human being and you're free. No matter what your skills are, you can walk and talk, and you have just as much right to live how you like on this planet as anybody else.
Like my dad I've also been in and out of depression a lot of my life, so I know how it feels. The whole black abyss thing and the meaningless thing....oh man, it's horrible....but the best way I get out of it is to take each little problem one at a time and figure it out....ALWAYS trying to think positively. ALWAYS upwards. Never without hope.....so if finances are worrying me, I'd start figuring out how to earn more or spend less or whatever. But I'd chip at it til it's no longer a problem. And if my self esteem was low, I'd read books about it, and search the web for answers. and I read books about meaninglessness and depression too. Life goes up and down. Depression is like when you're just too far down. Everybody has problems, but sometimes the problems just get too heavy for us and we start to despair. But to me it's like a very messy room where you just don't know where to start cleaning it up. It all seems too much. But if you just start anywhere, piece by piece, slowly tidying the room, eventually you'll see glimmers of light, and before you know it your room will be beautiful again!
But talking of beauty, I don't know if this will mean anything to you, but there's a great song by Eels called "Hey man (Now you're really living)" with lyrics such as
"do you know what it's like to fall on the floor
cry your guts out til you got no more
hey man, now you're really living"
and it always made me think, whenever I got depressed, I knew that there aren't many human beings that ever experience these kinds of lows in life, and how depression, if nothing else, is surely a sign that this person is living life to the extreme limits. I think, while it's a horrible condition, there is definitely honour it.
Now that I'm feeling much better these days, it's hard for me to remember exactly how depression feels, but all I know is that you're probably feeling horrible right now, and so I'd like to offer you my email address and say that if you have any questions or wanna talk or vent or absolutely anything else....you're more than welcome to email me.