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Old 05-04-2010  
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Just another manic monday
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The littlest things are often a big deal when you have S.A. and Avpd, Ive been obsessing since I got this invite to a Pinkly Party, if you don't know what it is, its for women and its a Mary Kay party (makeup). I just flat out don't want to go not just because of S.A. but because I don't like Mary Kay stuff, I like my own makeup and also I won't buy anything if I go. Now I know, its not just the buying stuff and trying on makeup, its spending time with the ladies and just kicking back, but I'm only going to know one person there, and thats the one who invited me. Ive turned this into such a huge deal in my head, I have to let her know by this saturday if Im going or not. I feel I come across as too intense if I were to say no, and explain why. I feel so sensitive to the persons reaction...
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Old 05-04-2010  
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Maybe if you just use the reason of only liking your own make-up. There are many women who have their own favourite make-up and don't like to bother with any other brands.
This way, you won't have to worry about her reaction, because it has nothing to do with not wanting to go because of the SA or only knowing one person there.
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Old 05-04-2010  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serafina View Post
I can't say I blame you, but that's because I always freak out when I know I'm going to be around a bunch of women whom I don't know. Things really aren't as scary as we make them out in our minds. Maybe you should make yourself go. That's what I started doing once people started inviting me out. Eventually I got used to it and then I began enjoying myself.

Will they be serving alcohol? Well, that would just be silly. I mean, makeup and alcohol may not mix very well. Don't mind that question. I'm drinking right now....

You might end up having fun and meeting some really nice people if you go. What's the worst that can happen?

I guess the worst that could happen is they think Im a snob, because I am pretty quiet and prefer to observe, also I'm awkward at saying goodbye, when the whole deminstration is done I'm afraid I'll run out the door lol..like okay c-ya lol, which is what I prefer to do. Im awkward at announcing that Im leaving.
And Im hoping there will be alcohol but I don't know.
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Old 05-06-2010  
 
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You don't have to go, the decision is yours.
Just like any event, people have different reasons to go.
Maybe this isn't your scene and you enjoy do things more suited to your style.

Or go with a friend, that way your not on your own and they can do all the talking!

Kind Regards Darryl
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Old 05-06-2010  
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If you flat-out don't want to go , then don't! Easy peasy japanesey
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Originally Posted by Lost Girl View Post
If you flat-out don't want to go , then don't! Easy peasy japanesey

I wish it was easy lol. Mostly I guess I want some kind of understanding.
Im still not sure if Im going or not.
Also, I get in so deep with overthinking things...or else I wouldnt have this problem...
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Old 05-07-2010  
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I think you should go, but it's totally up to how you are feeling about it.I don't like parties much either and I loathe the day one approaches. But in retrospect, I'm always glad I go, even when I make a completely fool of myself.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Originally Posted by sundaygirl View Post
well i've learned that if you KNOW it's gonna be terrible and you won't enjoy it, then it's perfectly ok to stay at home. BUT, if you think you could enjoy yourself there but are feeling uncomfortable, just try and push yourself to be there. i bet it NEVER goes as bad as you expect it to be.
just remember anyways, its absolutely fine to not go. as long as you know you wont beat yourself up about it afterwards
Yeah, that's my problem. I always beat myself up afterwards if I don't go.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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If you know you won't enjoy yourself, then don't, you'll only end up feeling terrible during the party; that clearly can be seen through you by your friend and it'd put pressure on her to keep you entertained. I noticed this when my friend tries to get me to be more sociable, but it just doesn't work out. Tell your friend, she will not mind. But if you feel like you want to go, give it a try, always push yourself, usually it turns out good, if it doesn't, you can always go home early. It's okay to leave early, I have done it plenty of times and nobody minds.
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Old 05-07-2010  
 
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I only ever went to one party in my life, and that was in year 11. It was so boring- I nearly drifted off to sleep. I'm still not sure what possessed me to attend. Everyone were just eating, drinking and talking. I just sat alone, acting antisocial.

I left early. Deciding that parties are not for me.

If you like socializing and talking to people, then go. If not...well, all I can say is - it's going to be a very depressing experience.
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Old 05-08-2010  
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I hate how you kinda feel obligated to buy something at those parties. I went to a PartyLite Candle party a few years ago. Someone I had taken dance classes with called me up to invite me. It had been a year since we both quit and we hadn't kept in touch. So I went. She invited a few others from dancing but none of them came so I didn't know anyone else. I felt a little uncomfortable but it wasn't too bad. I ended up buying some $20 candle and that was one of the cheaper ones. I'm not big into candles. They're okay and all, I just think these ones cost a lot more than they're worth. So she called me when it was in but I couldn't meet her to get it right away cause I was too busy. And then we ended up playing telephone tag for a bit, leaving messages and not able to meet. But I'm horrible when it comes to making phone calls. So I kept putting off calling her back and hoping she'd call me instead. I kept meaning to call and then I'd stare at the telephone and pace around, feeling nervous and unable to call until I'd decide to wait until another day. Eventually I gave up even intending to call. Never did get the candle. I bumped into her in a store a few months back. We talked for a few minutes but I didn't say a word about it. Waste of 20 bucks but it's no big deal. Whatever.
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Old 05-10-2010  
 
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Did you go?
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Old 05-10-2010  
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You are afraid of leaving them sooner? Wow I have the same prob.
I always find it hard to say ''Sorry, but I have to go''
I think they would judge me on that.. I mostly wait till everybody's gone and then say it to 1 person. Or I make plans that I tell them before the party that I can't stay too long. And sometimes I just tell the truth why I'm leaving so soon.
people need to accept it right? That's real friendship.
But my advice is, Just try to do it! Maybe you'll miss something fun!
I have met some friends out of a party, I had the chance to make more social contacts. Although I cried before the party started, Because I was too anxious.
But hey! I did it, and I had lots of fun! Just try to enjoy yourself.
Okay, try it. You'll be fine. It's just the tresh-hold anxiety. You can't walk in the door, because you are afraid of what'll happen. Just fight yourself through it.
And try to be happy for yourself, when you did it.

Good luck !!!
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Old 05-10-2010  
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Oh I see this topic is a bit older now, I hope it went well
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Old 05-10-2010  
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Hey, thanks for all the advice everyone! You guys gave me strength..I ended up talking to her on saturday and told her Im gonna pass on the party. She said "oh you dont have to buy anything" and then she made a joke about how at first people thought it was a sex toy party..then we both changed the subject and just talked about other things. But I never went back on what I said, even though she said "you don't have to buy anything". To me it doesnt matter, its just something Im not interested in, and I dont like Mary Kay products, Id prefer to be true to myself even if its just a measly party.
The party is actually next Friday, so it didnt pass yet.
But thanks you guys for your understanding, I dont think I would have had the nerve to just be honest if it wasn't for you.
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