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Old 06-29-2008  
dpr
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Originally Posted by Rodox
I have this weird thing,that I think every girl who likes me is out there just to hurt me emotionally,the prettier the girl the stronger the feeling.
Wow... I have that exact issue. That's really weird, but makes me feel good in a way, because someone else actually can relate!

To Arg... Do you really have "nothing" to offer? I think you are "disqualifying the positive" to borrow a term from those lame SP books lol... but seriously, I think you should sit down and try to make a list (think hard) of things you DO have to offer women. Anything.

First of all, after reading your post I have noticed that not only are you able to express your feelings through writing, but you have spelled everything correctly! THAT IS HUGE!!!!! I honestly don't know if I could see myself ever being with a girl who couldn't spell. It's a huge pet peeve of mine, and I'm sure lots of women out there feel the same way. So that's one thing, albeit small. I don't really know you, so it would be hard for me to come up with positive ideas here... but I suspect that you really do have more to offer women than you may realize.

So you don't have a large circle of friends, and you are not an extrovert. Those are only TWO things that you DON'T have to offer women. Everything else about you can be considered something you DO have to offer women. Are you a good listener? Are you nice? Caring? Helpful? Attentive? Passionate? Smart? Altruistic? etc.

I bet you are all those things and more. You just can't see these things in yourself because your brain is in negative mode. I know it sounds corny, but I believe that.

peace
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Old 06-29-2008  
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Originally Posted by dpr
Are you a good listener? Are you nice? Caring? Helpful? Attentive? Passionate? Smart? Altruistic? etc.

I bet you are all those things and more. You just can't see these things in yourself because your brain is in negative mode. I know it sounds corny, but I believe that.

peace
Thank you. I'm some of those things, except being smart. I'm a good listener, but when I'm anxious I can't follow a conversation.
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Old 07-01-2008  
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Originally Posted by Argamemnon
The main reason for me being single (love-shy) is that I feel I have absolutely nothing to offer people. I feel like I don't deserve a relationship, since I'm socially inept. Why on earth would any woman want to marry someone like me? And this also applies to having friends; why would anyone want to be friends with me? Do you feel the same?

you also need to talk to a lot of women, men tend to initiate the first contact for most of the part and im currently working on that, anyways if they like you they'll open up to u. but u gots to take risk...
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Old 07-19-2008  
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Originally Posted by Rodox
I have this weird thing,that I think every girl who likes me is out there just to hurt me emotionally,the prettier the girl the stronger the feeling.
I don't think they want to hurt me but the better people look, the more they disslike me.

Worth taking a look at, and give a serious try:
Link1
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Especially if you feel that your life is miserable.
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Old 07-22-2008  
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I've always felt inferior somehow... my body is fragile, you know i have very thin arms and legs and even though i am not so short i feel like i cant manage to stand tall next to a lady... i have great respect for women cos at the end of the day whenever i tried to talk to someone it was usually the ladies that showed more care towards me... Kind of saw me better than others... I am timid and shy, and i can easily get scared of things... my heart goes cold when something uncomfortable happens... Thats why i think i cant offer anything to a lady... A beautiful caring woman needs someone who deserves to stand next to her...Not someone who gets tense around her cos he is too eager to make her feel special and he can't cos of his anxiety and poor body... I'm just meant to be alone...i've cried for years in loneliness but there is no light to guide me... I came across this great song last night from the movie 'High school musical' and i couldnt stop the tears... the lyrics just blew me away...
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Old 07-31-2008  
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I think that if you feel you have nothing to offer you should spend some time observing couples. I'm sure you will see many nice women with short men who aren't that attractive. The only difference between you and them is you have social anxiety and they don't. If you work on it there's no reason why you can't have a nice girlfriend. Of course this will be very tough but nonetheless achievable. Just remember a lot of the time when we make excuses e.g. I am too short e.t.c. it is because we want to come up with reasons why we don't have to work hard and suffer to overcome SA.
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Old 08-01-2008  
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I feel that way about guys; it's a problem because it will make you settle for so much less than you really want deep down. I always find myself with guys that treat me badly or that only want a 'fling', because I find it hard to believe that anyone would truly want me, because of my SA. The only advice I can offer you is to hold on and wait for someone who understands you, and not to settle, because settling will make you miserable. I like to believe in the old cliche that there's someone for everyone, so it might take a little patience, but you'll find her.
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Old 08-01-2008  
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It's actually the way i feel about women... i just dont think i'm good enough for a nice lady whose good looking confident and caring.... it's not that i see myself as a bad guy... i just feel like she wouldnt want to be next to me cos of my vulnerability that is my SA..... She might treat me like a little brother and give me a hand to walk but she wouldnt ask me to come with her for going out and stuff cos she would think i'll get scared of it...It's actually a mental disorder on my part... i think i care too much about people who are nice to me... it makes me feel way too respectful cos i havent met many decent people in my life...
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Old 08-01-2008  
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Actually mate i feel the same, but i dont have SA, just anxiety in general. I know im not a looker but i aint the ugliest guy in the world, im in shape and ive been told im a nice person to be around but i dunno what im doing wrong, it just seems my luck of finding a girl is well, i wont even go there.....
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Old 08-10-2008  
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I also feel that there is nothing to offer women. I know for sure that I am not an attractive person. But I’m not ugly and definitely not stupid, despite that I may looking stupid because of my anxiety. On the other side, I have seen so many ugly, stupid *******s having pretty girlfriends. What they have offered them? Money or something else? Anyway, I have no wish to dig out in this question.

Now my confidence have reached the freezing point. I’m convinced that women aren’t interested in me. The more I am getting old the more I have the feeling that I have nothing to offer them.

If I theoretically assume that there is possibility for me to find woman interested in me, than what? She will want to know my past, including my relations. But I haven’t any relations. I have never been in a relationship. So, how the hell, I would tell to her about it. This is quite frustrating situation. Probably I’ll have to lie about this and to mention that I have had some short relationships regardless of that I haven’t. Otherwise she will not accept me. But as I said this is just a theoretical situation. The reality is different.

When I completed my education in university, it is become almost impossible for me to find any new girls. The same applies to friends. Every past year it is become harder to me, even to think about that there is a chance for me finding I girlfriend. But the hope dies last. So I keep hoping.
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Old 08-10-2008  
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I have never thought that any girl could like me. :}

Worth taking a look at, and give a serious try:
Link1
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Especially if you feel that your life is miserable.
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Old 08-10-2008  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kien
I have never thought that any girl could like me. :}
Me too. I just argued theoretically. The cruel reality is that girls don't like me.
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Old 08-10-2008  
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Restless, you are going to lie ? :evil: I advice you, don´t do that. Some people think it will help to lie a bit, embelish their past etc., think it will help them not appear as stupid as they think they are etc. But it is a mistake. You should have the strenghth to play with what you have. Rather be shit, but be yourself. And if you don´t give in to the tempting to lie here and there a bit, chances are that with time you grow strong inside and good luck will start coming to you without you even trying. So rather give up now the girl if you think she wouldn´t like you the way you are, and wait for some to whom it doesn´t matter. And if there is none such, you´ll just stay alone till the end of life 8) . Look at Kien, he´s accepted that already .
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Old 08-10-2008  
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It's not that girls don't like me, but rather that I'm extremely anxious and awkward around people in general. This is not attractive. If people see that you're anxious and awkward, they will avoid you. It's as simple as that..
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Old 08-10-2008  
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Originally Posted by Lea
Restless, you are going to lie ? Evil or Very Mad I advice you, don´t do that.
Well, maybe you are right. This is just one opportunity. The other one is to try to be myself, even when it is difficult to explain how I’m 26 and still don’t have any relationships. Are there any women at the same level and how many are they?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lea
And if there is none such, you´ll just stay alone till the end of life .
Probably. I have waited so long, that I’m starting to think that this is the main perspective before me. Sad, but true.
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Old 08-10-2008  
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It's not like everyone is ment to be liked by the opposite gener. (-,-)

Worth taking a look at, and give a serious try:
Link1
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Link3

Especially if you feel that your life is miserable.
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Old 08-26-2008  
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I feel like this most of the time. But I also know that I'm kind and caring and that I'm a decent person, whether women would find me interesting or not. Which is one reason why it upsets me when I hear about women getting involved with men who are agressive and devious and treat them like shit. I know there's absolutely no way I could ever treat women like that.

But I don't have much going for me. I still live at home with my parents, I suffer OCD and depression as well as SA and there's quite a few things I'm not too good at, practical stuff mostly. I always think I'm eventually going to meet someone and then I'll work harder to better myself. I don't have the motivation a lot of the time to try harder. I feel caught between having a bit of optimism and hope and being completely pessimistic and giving up.
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Old 10-17-2009  
Mourtalla
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Default Re: I feel I have nothing to offer women

i have the saaaame problem and people so quick to judge i wish i can put people in my shoes so they can feel how i feel
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