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Old 10-01-2009
 

I want to be around people, when I sit in class by myself, I feel so nervous, sad, and lonely.
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Old 10-01-2009
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oh hey i know how u feel foreal.try to take one day at a time and don't all that emotion make u feel lonely.one thing that helped me when i was in college i would tell myself that i would smile at one girl that i found pretty everyday.I started to do that and she would smile back.this makes you feel comfortable and less lonely if u try that.it will boost your confidence too hope that helps
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Old 10-01-2009
 

ha thats funny. I do the same thing on campus, mr coolness. I have yet to move up to the conversation part, though. in time...

I'm the same way in class, black, and I count down the minutes until I'm out of there. I don't know why though cus I will only leave to be by myself.
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Old 10-01-2009
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ha thats funny. I do the same thing on campus, mr coolness. I have yet to move up to the conversation part, though. in time...

I'm the same way in class, black, and I count down the minutes until I'm out of there. I don't know why though cus I will only leave to be by myself.
no doubt i feel what u saying.the next step for me was just saying hi which was really hard to do.man i tell ya i had one girl stare at me all the time and I think she had socialphobia too.she was just waiting on me to say something but i never did and she was really fine.not no more all the miss opportunities have made me frustrated but in a goodway cause i'll use all of that frustration to help get rid of the socialphobia.
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Old 10-01-2009
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Yep, evolution does its job.
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Old 10-01-2009
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I wish I could want to be around people.
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Old 10-01-2009
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I think this is the most frustrating part about SA, wanting to be around people, enjoying peoples company but just being too nervous to do anything about it!
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Old 10-01-2009
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Originally Posted by mr coolness View Post
one thing that helped me when i was in college i would tell myself that i would smile at one girl that i found pretty everyday.I started to do that and she would smile back.this makes you feel comfortable and less lonely if u try that.it will boost your confidence too hope that helps
That's a great idea. I've decided to do a similar thing when I go back to uni next week; do or say one nice thing (even if it is just smiling) every day. I'm sick of moping about convincing myself other people are horrible and ignore me, when really it's my own fault.
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Old 10-02-2009
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I'm sick of moping about convincing myself other people are horrible and ignore me, when really it's my own fault.
Yeah, that's never really worked for me either, my BS detector is set so high that little delusions like that never hold water for very long.

I know it's all in my head and that the rest of the world isn't populated by nasty individuals working in conjunction to annoy me at every opportunity that they get. Ha Ha
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Old 10-23-2009
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I don't mind being alone in class, because most people there are idiots. What I hate is when I come back home and I start feeling lonely. If none of my friends are online, i feel doomed.
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Old 10-23-2009
 

Yea i just hate sitting in class and watching those people joking and talking happily to each other, disgust me... I also feel like an idiot when the instructor calls on me, because i can't really reply with a good answer. Mostly stutters and confused statements, that usually just kills me.
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Old 10-23-2009
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Yea i just hate sitting in class and watching those people joking and talking happily to each other, disgust me... I also feel like an idiot when the instructor calls on me, because i can't really reply with a good answer. Mostly stutters and confused statements, that usually just kills me.
Ditto. What frustrates me is that I've had plenty of opportunities to make friends or talk in class. People approach me, and start to make conversation. The fact that I can't ever further that conversation and develop it into a friendship bothers me. It feels like somebody's over my head and offering me candy, but then my SA makes me just slightly too short to be able to reach and accept that candy. So then that person just walks away, thinking I don't want it.

I don't know if I would feel better or worse if I was never approached at all, but the fact that I do get approached and I get nervous and f-ck it up everytime kills me. I watch people make idle chat about nothing at all - the most mundane sh-t in the world, and I get frustrated because I think "how is it that they can have those conversations and I can't?" And it's not like I can't ever be like-able. I've had moments where I've shown bits and pieces of who I am and those bits and pieces have made people smile or laugh. I just don't know how to turn those fragmentary moments into something longlasting.
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Old 10-23-2009
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Ditto. What frustrates me is that I've had plenty of opportunities to make friends or talk in class. People approach me, and start to make conversation. The fact that I can't ever further that conversation and develop it into a friendship bothers me. It feels like somebody's over my head and offering me candy, but then my SA makes me just slightly too short to be able to reach and accept that candy. So then that person just walks away, thinking I don't want it.

I don't know if I would feel better or worse if I was never approached at all, but the fact that I do get approached and I get nervous and f-ck it up everytime kills me. I watch people make idle chat about nothing at all - the most mundane sh-t in the world, and I get frustrated because I think "how is it that they can have those conversations and I can't?" And it's not like I can't ever be like-able. I've had moments where I've shown bits and pieces of who I am and those bits and pieces have made people smile or laugh. I just don't know how to turn those fragmentary moments into something longlasting.
You're very articulate. From what I've seen at least. In real life, I can't express anything coherently. it's pathetic. Anything that takes longer than 2 or 3 sentences , it's like everything just falls apart after I mumbled out the first few lines lol. And I got a presentation coming up in 2 weeks and I don't even know what topic I should choose. so dreading it
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Old 10-23-2009
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You're very articulate. From what I've seen at least. In real life, I can't express anything coherently. it's pathetic. Anything that takes longer than 2 or 3 sentences , it's like everything just falls apart after I mumbled out the first few lines lol. And I got a presentation coming up in 2 weeks and I don't even know what topic I should choose. so dreading it
I'm an articulate writer - I'm going to school for a degree in English, not so much because I like it, but because I'm good at it and writing is the only way I can express myself at all. Creates a problem cause I assume future employers will want to interview someone with good communication skills to help determine their writing skills and that's where I fail. I can never think of something to say and I stutter and stammer a lot and sometimes I use the wrong words when I'm nervous.

Try to choose a topic you like (I know that's probably obvious, lol). Is there a specific subject you have to choose a topic from? Maybe I can throw out some suggestions for you.
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Old 10-23-2009
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Yea i just hate sitting in class and watching those people joking and talking happily to each other, disgust me...
One day way back during my second attempt to pass Calc I, I actually got fed up with listening to all the happy, regular people around me. And all I wanted to do was sleep. So I started writing....

Sitting in a room 'midst a blur of insanity
Listen! All around simple imps cackle raucously
All trying their best to lull me into hibernation
I'm alone, depressed, slowly giving in to black temptation.


I never got around to finishing it off, but that's nothing new. I could probably put out a book filled completely with great opening lines to nonexistent poems. Maybe that's why I never write anymore.

And feeling lonely all the time has just become the norm for me anymore. For some reason it seems that being around others exacerbates it.
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Old 10-23-2009
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I can relate,any class wher im not given a st seat i hate because i dont want tro sit beside people because they always ask me to move cause theyd like their frined to sit thre,and when im the first into a room and sit down no-one sits bside me.sometimes everyone sits to other side of the room and im all alone and i just cant stop thinking about how freaky i look just sitting alone.

People did try approaching me to talk but i cant keep the conversation alive,and have to keep repeating what littl i say bcause i mumble.Eventually thy get bored and give me one word answers too and leav and dont bothr trying to spe4ak to me again unless they want to know whats for homework.

Everday i se people laughing and chatting around me and i would lov to join in but i just cant.I always think about how much i would freak them out and how pissed of they would b at me intruppting their convrsation,and wethr thyd bitch about me for it behind my back.

I have bcome nothing but an observer,not living life just watching it pass me by.Im just living in fear of humiliation and embarrasment:(
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Old 10-24-2009
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Try to choose a topic you like (I know that's probably obvious, lol). Is there a specific subject you have to choose a topic from? Maybe I can throw out some suggestions for you.
It's a technical presentation. I'm allowed to talk about anything as long as it's technical - as in discussion of a technology. My prof said that in the past a student did it on "how to properly grow marijuana". So it's pretty open-ended. any suggestions are welcome lol

The problem is I know a little about everything but I'm not much of an expert on anything in specific. So my plan is to pick a topic that I tihnk the evaluators will like, and then do a lot of reading on it so I become familiar with it.

I was looking at the marking rubric and it sounded really scary. They'd mark me on hand gestures, volume, tone, individual eye-contact for each audience among other things. So once I have the topic I'd practice by videotaping myself doing the presentation a few times.
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Old 10-24-2009
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And to respond to the OP lol, being like the only guy alone in the class is the worst feeling ever. I used to have a friend who would sit beside me but now he's skipping all his classes lol.. Now there are some acquaintances who'd always sit at the very back. i guess I could sit beside them but then I won't be able to focus on the lectures, which defeats the whole point of going to lectures
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Old 10-24-2009
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It's a technical presentation. I'm allowed to talk about anything as long as it's technical - as in discussion of a technology. My prof said that in the past a student did it on "how to properly grow marijuana". So it's pretty open-ended. any suggestions are welcome lol

The problem is I know a little about everything but I'm not much of an expert on anything in specific. So my plan is to pick a topic that I tihnk the evaluators will like, and then do a lot of reading on it so I become familiar with it.

I was looking at the marking rubric and it sounded really scary. They'd mark me on hand gestures, volume, tone, individual eye-contact for each audience among other things. So once I have the topic I'd practice by videotaping myself doing the presentation a few times.
I really think it's better to go with what you like, than what will make the teacher, happy. Believe me, the more it interests you, the more you will remember and the easier your presentation will be.

It sounds like knowing the content inside and out isn't as important as your behavior during the presentation. Seems like it's ok to have a basic understanding of something without having to be an expert on it, as long as you present it professionally.

You could research the impact of social networking sites like myspace/facebook - I'm sure there are articles about it online. Or you could research electroshock therapy and how it's becoming more popular again. If it were me, I'd do something kind of morbid, like talk about torture devices (or just one device) and how they've/it's evolved over the years (within set dates, of course), or even torture devices of a specific period. Or you could do something about video games, if that's what you're into. Or maybe battle bots for electronic fighting competitions
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Old 10-24-2009
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I really think it's better to go with what you like, than what will make the teacher, happy. Believe me, the more it interests you, the more you will remember and the easier your presentation will be.

It sounds like knowing the content inside and out isn't as important as your behavior during the presentation. Seems like it's ok to have a basic understanding of something without having to be an expert on it, as long as you present it professionally.

You could research the impact of social networking sites like myspace/facebook - I'm sure there are articles about it online. Or you could research electroshock therapy and how it's becoming more popular again. If it were me, I'd do something kind of morbid, like talk about torture devices (or just one device) and how they've/it's evolved over the years (within set dates, of course), or even torture devices of a specific period. Or you could do something about video games, if that's what you're into. Or maybe battle bots for electronic fighting competitions
You're absolutely right about how I have to be interested in the topic. At first I was gonna go with something more technical like "design of aerial collision avoidance systems", because I am in an engineering class and I thought the evaluators would like it. But the topic is just so dry and tedious I don't think even they can stay focused during my talk

I love your suggestions! The torture device one is totally something I'd do, except I don't know a whole lot about them and I don't know where to start.

but I'd love to see the faces of the audience when they hear ECTs or torture devices, after suffering through stuff like "windows 7 vs. vista", "spread spectrum tranceivers" and "network security technologies". it'd be hilarious in that context. I'd probably wear a suit to the presentation too.
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