I guess I will introduce myself.
My name is Aaron (there are too many people named Aaron). I haven't been diagnosed with any disorder and I'm afraid to go to the doctor and to ask to go to the doctor. Asking would be harder than going because of how my parents would act, and then if I went to the doctor and the doctor didn't help it would be worse, so I fear talking to my parents about anything. My family is ignorant and does not address mental health problems or even acknowledge them. I wont be able to get help until after I move away.
I have serious doubts as to what my problem is. I know I am depressed and have been for years, but I don't know exactly why. I don't know if I have social phobia or not. It seems like I half have it, and it seems like I half have schizoid personality disorder.I haven't done anything outside of school activities with anyone outside of my family since last summer, and last summer I only did one thing once.
I've pretty much doomed myself to anxiety by signing up for the classes I'm going to take next year. I signed up for activities because I hoped to meet people but just sitting in a classroom looking at other people can and does make me feel inferior and depressed all the time.
In person I don't talk much. People either view me as quiet, cold, and intimidating, or crazy and annoying, which is why I hate my personality. I only come across as one of the two, and people reject me. My family thinks I'm stupid and annoying. I'm a perfectionist because I feel like people judge me by my work.
I don't know what else I want to or should say so I'll stop.