I HATE THE WAY MOST PEOPLE TREAT ME!!

The_9th_passenger · Jan 24, 2006

I simply hate the way people treats me. It's like they think I'm silly you know what I mean... they just treat me like I am inferior to them somehow even if many times is not so. I have a good body, maybe I'm not any cute but at least I've got beautiful eyes and hair, I'm fairly tall (1'75m not bad in the spanish standards), I'm in good shape (I do jogging, mountain bike and a bit of swimming), I'm clever (115 points of IC), I have a university degree at Law, dress with very good taste 8) and have a good car I bought myself last year (not a Ferrari but it's a nice little car). The only three bad things about me are: I'm ugly as hell (I think so by my little succes with women and the way they laugh when they see me), I have SP and low self-steem, I got a bad employment due to my SP and low self-confidence (or maybe I just didn't want any responsibilities).
So actually I believe they just treat me like that due to my low self-steem or low self-confidence. It's like nothing else matters.
For instance right few minuts ago I was at the supermarket getting some things to eat and there's this nice girl I always talk with cause I used to thing she was soooo nice and beautiful

:wink: but as I went on trying to talk to her she more and more every day became kind of a little nasty with me. She talks to me like so other people does, just like they despise me you know... it really destroys everything I'm working on so hard, my self-steem and self confedence goes to shit instantly.
How is it that people has to treat me always that way? Some of them treat me well but then they treat me like I'm a child. Others just seem to have bad ideas about me and seem they want to hurt me with their fuckin ironic talking.
Sometimes I show myself just as I am and then they treat me like a child. Sometimes I do like I'm 100% self confident and then they seem to want to make me fall from my cloud.

I just don't know what else to do. If I'd had a tight relationship with them I'pd tell themn to stop treating me that way. (Although when I did so, some friends said they didn't actually treat me that way and some became angry with me)
I really need some advise on that. I'm starting to get seriously angry too about that. Do I have to be more agressive? I say so because i think I'm too much of a nice guy and usually can't even defend myself. I only do so when I'm really angry to the point that I shout aloud or smack someone face with my fists. But that's not good is it?
I know it's all about self-steem and self-confidence... but no one ever gave me a good clue on what should I do about it.
(please DON'T go telling me the same phrases I always hear like 'love yourself' and things like that please)
Thanks in advance. I'm really desperate about that shit.

The_9th_passenger · Jan 24, 2006

The_9th_passenger said:
The only three bad things about me are: I'm ugly as hell (I think so by my little succes with women and the way they laugh when they see me), I have SP and low self-steem, I got a bad employment due to my SP and low self-confidence (or maybe I just didn't want any responsibilities).

Na... I forgot ta talk 'bout my complete lack of social skill. But I'm a good lad on the other way. Maybe a bit cruel when I get frustrated but mostly I'm even too much nice.

Neebo · Jan 24, 2006

Hi 9th passenger

! I know exactly what you're going through as at the moment I feel the same way about the way people treat me too. People treat me in a similar way too and it makes me mad :x I'm alway's nice and polite to people,or atleast I alway's try to be,but they still don't seem to treat me with the respect and politeness that I treat them with and it just confuses me :? Like you describe,it just seems like people are always trying to bring me down or completely fuck up what's left of my already destroyed self-esteem no matter what I say or do :x I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this

verylonely · Jan 25, 2006

Hi 9th passenger
I go through exactly the same thing, I never like the way that people treat me, even those closest to me.
I find that when i communicate with people, I'm so worried about what to say and about being judged, I usually end up not really understanding the conversation or at least not enjoying it. And then no one ever likes me.

I am such an emotional wreck, I either allow people to step all over me or I get very angry and over react, in both instances I look stupid and people never respect me. Its very sad you know.

Sometimes I ask myself if I even have a personality, I'm sure I don't.
I'm not me, all I am is social phobia.

I don't think this helped you much but i'll post it anyway.

longlivesolitude · Jan 25, 2006

Arh :| I feel that much too. Like I'm not really interesting and people just want to bring me down. I'm not really sure if it's the SA that makes me feel that way, because people I've talked to about it says "everybody likes you" and stuff like that. It think it's got a lot to do with my mood.. when I'm sad, I get more sensitive. Maybe it's the same with you?

The thing is that it's very annoying not to know if it's just me being oversensitive or it's people that are actually just treating me as trash 8O

blubs · Jan 25, 2006

I think alot of people with SA have problems relating to people. Maybe its because we put up defenses against people as we're afraid of the way they may treat us...& that pushes them away. I would say...look after yourself...please yourself...& try to ignore the way anyone treats you...once you start wondering why someone has behaved a certain way towards you...it just drains all your energy...ignore it...don't let anyone effect the way you are.......x

4myself · Jan 25, 2006

Good advice there blubs!. It sure does suck when people treat you bad and put you down and everyone here has a right to be angry about it, it's just not acceptable!.
I dont really know how to handle it, I just try and be as assertive as possible and as blubs said, please yourself because in the end its your life and you have the right to live it your way. I also try and avaoid people who put me down as much as possible.

beautiful · Jan 26, 2006

I can relate to what you are saying. This is how I am treated too.

People around me treat me as though having social phobia is actually a crime. And act as though theres something wrong with me, because I dont like parties, I dont like going to the pub with lots of friends etc.

Because I cant defend myself everyone treats me like shit. Like tell me Im ignorant or childish & the reason why I have no friends is because Im rude. I very often feeling like hitting ppl when they treat me so mean!

I cant really explain what I want to say

The_9th_passenger · Jan 26, 2006

Thanks to all of you for your support. I'm just going through a very bad time. I'm in this job since 4 months ago and there's many people there that treat me... you know... the tipical way people use to treat shy ones.
I already said somewhere I'm sick and tired of being the way I am. Not that I completely hate myself but you know I can't do anything but hate myself for some things like: my lack of self-confidence, my shyness, being so gullible (found that word in a book, is it right?), so sensitive, so innocent, so childish, so hysterical, with such little emotional control, so insecure, so little attractive to people (not to mention women

)...

verylonely said:
I am such an emotional wreck, I either allow people to step all over me or I get very angry and over react, in both instances I look stupid and people never respect me. Its very sad you know.

Sometimes I ask myself if I even have a personality, I'm sure I don't.
I'm not me, all I am is social phobia.

I don't think this helped you much but i'll post it anyway.

Hi verylonely
I feel exactly the same. I'm a wreck in society.

I feel my personality is like 2 extrems, 2 really different sides. One is so peaceful and nice everyone steps over it and fucks it up. The other is a very agressive wild animal. Some very few times I use this second side of me to defend myself but then I am treated as a puppy who has bit someone. So I feel like it doesn't matter what I do, it will sure be wrong.
The option in the midle seems to be out of reach of my possibilities and obviously this has something to do with SA/SP. Probably it's the origin of it along with low self-steem (wich probably relates to it too).

About having or not personality... I'm sure I do have one, a very personal one too. But one thing is true: whenever I am sociallizing , my personalty seems to desappear. And of course I dont like it at all. Any explanations on that phenomenon?

Diluted_Acid · Jan 27, 2006

I can relate. I've always believed that people can find out alot more than people would think through their sub concious mind. Also don't mean to rant, but i dunno if you guys believe in negative and positive energy. If your going to be negative all the time, people are going to see it, and when your negative energy mixes with theres they may feel uncomfortable. Who would want that. Can't always blame people even thoguh i may wanbt to at times for ignoring me.

billbest · Feb 10, 2015

People have been treating me worse and worse for 4 years now. is it getting worse for anyone els like it is for me? and after reading this chat its been giving me a headache like the fact that i am not the only one is hurting my head. is anyone els experiencing this also? great chat and theirs always a way

MotherWolff · Feb 10, 2015

The_9th_passenger said:
I simply hate the way people treats me. It's like they think I'm silly you know what I mean... they just treat me like I am inferior to them somehow even if many times is not so. I have a good body, maybe I'm not any cute but at least I've got beautiful eyes and hair, I'm fairly tall (1'75m not bad in the spanish standards), I'm in good shape (I do jogging, mountain bike and a bit of swimming), I'm clever (115 points of IC), I have a university degree at Law, dress with very good taste 8) and have a good car I bought myself last year (not a Ferrari but it's a nice little car). The only three bad things about me are: I'm ugly as hell (I think so by my little succes with women and the way they laugh when they see me), I have SP and low self-steem, I got a bad employment due to my SP and low self-confidence (or maybe I just didn't want any responsibilities).
So actually I believe they just treat me like that due to my low self-steem or low self-confidence. It's like nothing else matters.
For instance right few minuts ago I was at the supermarket getting some things to eat and there's this nice girl I always talk with cause I used to thing she was soooo nice and beautiful :wink: but as I went on trying to talk to her she more and more every day became kind of a little nasty with me. She talks to me like so other people does, just like they despise me you know... it really destroys everything I'm working on so hard, my self-steem and self confedence goes to shit instantly.
How is it that people has to treat me always that way? Some of them treat me well but then they treat me like I'm a child. Others just seem to have bad ideas about me and seem they want to hurt me with their ****in ironic talking.
Sometimes I show myself just as I am and then they treat me like a child. Sometimes I do like I'm 100% self confident and then they seem to want to make me fall from my cloud.

I just don't know what else to do. If I'd had a tight relationship with them I'pd tell themn to stop treating me that way. (Although when I did so, some friends said they didn't actually treat me that way and some became angry with me)
I really need some advise on that. I'm starting to get seriously angry too about that. Do I have to be more agressive? I say so because i think I'm too much of a nice guy and usually can't even defend myself. I only do so when I'm really angry to the point that I shout aloud or smack someone face with my fists. But that's not good is it?
I know it's all about self-steem and self-confidence... but no one ever gave me a good clue on what should I do about it.
(please DON'T go telling me the same phrases I always hear like 'love yourself' and things like that please)
Thanks in advance. I'm really desperate about that shit.

Well, how can you expect others to treat you well if You fail to even treat yourself well?

Deco · Feb 10, 2015

Like some of you said, it was only a few years ago that people started insulting me. But I'm changing a few things to improve it. Now I cut ties with people who disrespect me. I don't need their money or false friendships. Period. Maybe this is time to renew your friend list. To keep only the close ones that show more respect to you.
Have you ever studied body language? There are some interesting videos on YouTube.

Maybe you can try to save some money and start your own business. An online store or something like that. Some types of products don't require too much of a nitial investment. You graduated in law. So you may know a lot about procedures to start it and defend yourself against any possible legal matters.
I know some people who used to be shy and in these same situations, but they did it and now they seem much more confident and happier. One of them is a lawyer.

billbest · Feb 11, 2015

I read your post deco and its great that your doing things to improve your situation. a few things im experiencing are. i feel like im below almost everyone like they are 'superior'. my mum and dad want me to see a psychotherapy but theres no point because she doesn't ever understand when i say people are treating me in bad way. anyway because i cant argue with my mum and dad because they always get the last word i have to see her and it makes me really uncomfortable because i feel like she will use things against me. anyone els like this? another thing i have to really concentrate to be able to talk. and i feel like its getting me nearer to where i want to be but people still control me and tell me to go away.

Graeme1988 · Feb 11, 2015

billbest said:
I read your post deco and its great that your doing things to improve your situation. a few things im experiencing are. i feel like im below almost everyone like they are 'superior'. my mum and dad want me to see a psychotherapy but theres no point because she doesn't ever understand when i say people are treating me in bad way. anyway because i cant argue with my mum and dad because they always get the last word i have to see her and it makes me really uncomfortable because i feel like she will use things against me. anyone els like this? another thing i have to really concentrate to be able to talk. and i feel like its getting me nearer to where i want to be but people still control me and tell me to go away.

Yeah, ah can relate, bill. Ah feel like that as well - like I'm below people. Ma family always have to get the last word in when it comes arguments as well - especially my mum and older sisters. Ah just have to say somethin' to start an argument.

Sacrament · Feb 11, 2015

Other people are going to be attracted to confidence. If they know you lack confidence, they know you're easy to push around and manipulate. The more at peace you are with all the things that make you who you are, the more others will get that message and show more respect, appreciation and acceptance.

billbest · Feb 28, 2015

graeme 1988. so why are you having these aguments? but ye people treat me bad and it sucks. lol.

Whoopdeedoo · Feb 28, 2015

You have a degree in law
And your asking how to defend yourself
You do it with your tongue and consistant attitude of entitlement to respect
People treat you as you expect to be treated
Make others fear you
Fear lasts longer than respect
Use your tongue & verbal skills to annihilate their attempts to belittle you
Practice good posture
walking with command
Like you know where your going
And their in you way
Slowing you down
Talking with command
And eye contact
Fake it til you mAke it
Act the part til its you
Use male celebrities you d like to be like as a role model
Put your best features forward in your mind
And make the best of thefeatures you have by grooming well
Using haircut, color and facial hair to Camouflage unsavory features
Confident attitude goes further thab looks
So experiment with your look
Hair
Facial hair
& play with wardrobe choices
Try different styles even if its uncomfortable at first
Wheres comfy getting you?
Thats my answer good luck

Graeme1988 · Feb 28, 2015

billbest said:
graeme 1988. so why are you having these aguments? but ye people treat me bad and it sucks. lol.

My family's inability to see things from my perspective has a lot to with it - I mean like understanding how I'm feeling, sometimes. Like they don't get why my physical disability would get me down. Apparently I have no reason to be depressed.

billbest · Feb 28, 2015

ouch! but ye. whenever i tell my parents i don't like the way their talking to me, they say along with allot of hurtful things that i must be wrong because no one understands.
I always think because i don't have any disabilities. big ones. other then dislexia, it makes it worse that i'm depressed. if you get my meaning. what is your disability?

I HATE THE WAY MOST PEOPLE TREAT ME!!

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