I have never had a girlfriend in my life

Kien

Well-known member
You feel that you might be good looking and that you deserver to have a female but you can't and then you see that fat thing sitting there with probably new girls every day. That's what the picture does, teasing you and making you feel even more that you have no chance to experience love in your life becouse the good thing that you actually have doesn't matter very much, it's the thing that you lack that matters. No positive effect at all.
 

hulkamaniak

Active member
I think alot of us feel we are attractive enough to get a girlfriend/boyriend but the damn SP gets in the way, well thats how i feel anyway. People ive known have been less attractive then me, but since they are outgoing have been able to get a girlfriend. Im 20 and have pretty much given up on believing ill get a gf
 

RedAugust

New member
hulkamaniak said:
I think alot of us feel we are attractive enough to get a girlfriend/boyriend but the damn SP gets in the way, well thats how i feel anyway. People ive known have been less attractive then me, but since they are outgoing have been able to get a girlfriend. Im 20 and have pretty much given up on believing ill get a gf

It's not all about looks, as you prove. I feel similar as you. And almost all who've posted they haven't had a girlfriend ever yada yada, same boat. I think we're gonna need a bigger boat actually! =D

I'm 22, almost 23, I thought I was a lost cause until recently. Oh I still do think this way, but I know it's possible. Over the last year EVERYTHINGs gotten worse, even typing online I had trouble doing! Used to be my only refuge to being who I was, able to talk to any girl in chat rooms/etc. Hasn't been that way for a few years, but well I lost my job a year ago, and there I talked to two very beautiful ladies, it built up with one, to a point I knew I could have easily asked her out and she'd say yes. I struggled to do so for weeks, and couldn't... until she quit the job. SA and all that goes with it (you all know) just swept the rug from under my feet.

The 2nd girl I felt more relaxed towards and easier talking ironically probably even more a shoe in to at least have coffee or a date with not saying anything more. But then I got let go and totally killed any confidence I gained from the situation. We texted a few times afterwards but I missed my chance, timing IS key, SA just made me hesitate and avoid and hideaway instead of taking the chances. I then burned bridges with friends, etc.

I can't even approach (as in simply freaking pass one) or look at a girl directly anymore w/o my pits becoming niagra falls. I've never been THAT bad. So I've avoided any social situation, finding another job etc.

Until the last month... but makes me more depressed seeing a friend easily flirt with a girl at a bar. And them react in kind, and this friend isn't anything to write home about look wise, so it's certainly not all there.

And any girls I HAVE barely talked to, been totally bland, monotone, drawing blanks unable to go further than the simple talk "Oh your major/school/do/know him/ crap like that. Ahhh well, I'm blathering now.

I just post it all like others have posted this thread, i read ALL posts everyone I felt what everyone was saying and helped me, so I hope make some connection to someone else reading, whatever.

Cheers, don't give up, all that crap =D
 

Haven

Member
AnthonyJ31 said:
rko74 said:
:oops: Ok there i said it, and im really embarassed.I'm 31, is there hope for me? Its not that im ugly or anything its just the social phobia me not overcoming it. Im trying to do something about it, im going to see a therapist this month and he told me to read "Dying of Embarassment".I wish i had more motivation.I think i have let it go on so long because im so comfortable living at home with my parents.

Wow! You just described me my friend. You just described me to a t. I am currently 31 years old and I still live with my parents, and I have never had a girlfriend either. I have been struggling with Social Anxiety Disorder along with alot of depression and loneliness for years now. As I write this, I am currently in a very bad frame of mind. It seems as if the depression has worsened ALOT over the past few months - alot of it has to do with the holidays and seeing people around me so happy - and I feel like I am reaching the breaking point. I feel really really helpless and really really ashamed and disgusted with myself. I honestly wish that I could be someone else.

I am glad that I registered with this site and it's helpful to read other people who are going through the same things as I am. However, I feel like I am reaching a point with my depression that is scaring me. I keep having persistent fantasies and thoughts of ending my life and checking out of this world. I drove around in the car earlier today going absolutely nowhere - just driving around town, and I was literally crying as I was driving. I was going over in my head how bad things are and how so damn lonely I feel, and I couldn't stop crying. It's been a bad, bad time and I am tired, tired, tired of this condition and of all the things that go along with it: depression, loneliness, shame, missed opportunities, tons of regrets, e.t.c.....

I look around and I see guys and girls who are 18,19 years old who are outgoing, happy, who are dating and having relationships, and I get really sad. I never did any of that. I realize that because of this SA and because of all of the depression and the self-esteem issues that I have blown a large portion of my life; I virtually wasted my youth because of SA. And you know what? It really hurts! I will never know what it was like to date as a teenager, to kiss as a teenager, to have sex as a teenager because I was too busy being afraid. Damn guys, this really really hurts. I don't know what to do. It's hard to press on and to continue on with life when you feel like there is no way out or no better way. I'm not sure what is worse: the social anxiety disorder itself, or the god-awful depression and loneliness that results from the SA.......Not to mention the serious blows to a persons self-esteem and self-concept. :(

Your post almost made me cry, too... Although I'm female, I will be turning 30 this year and I'm in exactly the same boat. I have even done the driving around town pointlessly thing in the past. This life really does hurt sometimes, and it's so embarrassing.
 

Kien

Well-known member
AnthonyJ31 said:
I realize that because of this SA and because of all of the depression and the self-esteem issues that I have blown a large portion of my life; I virtually wasted my youth because of SA. And you know what? It really hurts! :(
This is something I'm thinking of too. Other speak about what they are going to do later at the friday night, while I'm going home alone to do nothing. I'm 20. The worst thing is when people ask about it, what you are going to do on the weekends and such. Life is shit.

However I'm quite glad I don't much desire for love. Since you people seem to be really suffering from the lack of it. :/ On facebook I got some flirt message a few days ago. :?
 

muki9987

New member
well in my case i m almost 18 and sometimes i feel like i could never get a girl. I never had a gf or anything. I am 6 '4 and i m not that bad in socially with people or girls, but i seriously dont even try to get girls cause i assume right away that they r not interested... idk..
 

Kien

Well-known member
I don't even think people are interrested in being friends with me.

And we don't need any girlfriend. :)
 

spaz

Active member
I'm a 30 y.o male and never had a girlfriend. Have had sex a few times with pros (I was stoned which helped) but can't seem to do it with girls i like- I get too anxious.I'm not bad looking and have had a fair amount of female interest but i can never do anything about it as i always freeze up with anxiety. So, after all this time I'm f*****g sick of it and have been given Cipramil by my shrink. He has tried to get me to take something for a while but I wanted to continue with CBT (didn't really work).
Hopefully things will change.

It's good to know there are other guys out there in my position. My family and very few friends must all think I'm weird or gay or something for never having a girlfriend.
 

Johno

Well-known member
Come on guys. Stop feeling sorry for yourselves. It's pathetic. Grow some balls and live the life you want to live. Most of you are sooooooo lucky to be where you are today. Two thirds of the world lives in poverty. Let’s remember that. Let's learn to appreciate what we have. Then we may ask for more. Stop complaining and start being thankful for what you have. I’m still trying to figure that one out for myself. Well according to the Wiseman that's how it works.
 

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Being able to socialize and having friends is much more important than having a girlfriend in my opinion.
 

Johno

Well-known member
My point exactly Argamem. Appreciate being single. From what I have heard some girls are complete control freaks. They also expect you to read their crazy minds. Then if u upset them through no deliberate fault of your own. They will crucify you. Possibly stalk you. Physically and emotionally, through unwanted phone calls etc. The best place for a women is in the kitchen. She makes sense there. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
 

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Johno said:
My point exactly Argamem. Appreciate being single. From what I have heard some girls are complete control freaks. They also expect you to read their crazy minds. Then if u upset them through no deliberate fault of your own. They will crucify you. Possibly stalk you. Physically and emotionally, through unwanted phone calls etc. The best place for a women is in the kitchen. She makes sense there. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
hahaha :lol:
 

Johno

Well-known member
Can I ask for you opinions on the following so called stars.....
p.s if u haven't heard of them just leave it blank.
also excuse the spelling.

Nicole kidman.....

Jessica ALba......

Hilary clinton.....

Janet jackson........

(whatever her name is) beyonce.....

Tom criuse....

Tom hanks....

Morgan freeman....

bruce willis....

jack nicholson....


Robert deniro...

Al pacino.....

Edward norton...

Brad pitt....

Mel gibson....

danny glover...

will smith...

That fuckhead that won best actor . ok I remember . daniel day lewis...

dakota fanning.....

lets forget actors and look at other people in entertainmet.....

Oprah winfrey

David letterman...

(or business)bill gates....

barack obama.....

osama bin laden..

kevin rudd....

george bush....

jerry seinfield...

jim carrey...

clint eastwood...

fuck the list goes on................
Please add to it....
 

Johno

Well-known member
Not relevant to the topic. However I was just curious how one makes a public broadcast. How would one do such a nasty thing????

Good
morning,
 

Johno

Well-known member
Just rate these stars

Rate These starss..................


What do you think of them?????

David Letterman

Tom cruise,

Mel Gibson,

Jack nicholson,

hugh jackman,

Demi moore,,

jay lemo,


keep it going lol
 
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