I have no friends and I'm lonely

T

Tallgeese

New member
Almost 5 years ago, I made a post on this very issue but I just need somewhere to rant and for help.

I am now 22 year old and I haven't done much with my life. Anxiety and depression has crippled my motivation and ambition although I'm going back to school and am working.

These days however, I feel lonely and depressed. I'm naturally an introvert and prefer to be alone most of the times, although I do get urges to be social and go out. I have a handful of friends, most of whom hang out with other people I don't like or like to drink and go clubbing; activities which I prefer not to engage in. Most of the time I'm by myself, working and when I do go out I like to bike or go out to eat/watch a movie with a couple friends.

I started dating and lost my virginity this year. It didn';t end up well as I keep getting burned and flaked on by girls. I feel as if I'm too much of a nice guy and a bit clingy, but it's due to lack of experience which is understandable. I don't want to be tied down, but I feel like if I had a relationship, I'd be less lonely and would have somebody to spend time with. My confidence and motivation for girls has spiraled downhill ever since I've gotten essentially friendzoned 3 times in a row. I hesitate to even talk to girls or look them in the eye due to feelings of bitterness and mistrust. I know it'svery negative, but I just can't help it.

The thing is... I don't WANT a lot of friends, just people to hang out with more often I guess? I don't know why I feel this way; I like to be alone but feel lonely and depressed at times? Sometimes I'll get feelings of jealously towards others who have good social lives although I know they have a totally different personality than me...
 
fate12321

fate12321

Well-known member
Same thing. I don't know what I want. I sometimes want to hang out with my friends but all they ever want to do is just go to clubs and other stuff thats waaay out of my comfort zone.
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
Finding the right people is a matter of sheer luck and you're going to have to sift through a lot of people who are incompatible, looking for someone to fix them or get a fix from, etc. It's not just you. Even some very fantastic people I met went for several months without meeting anyone they could have a real connection with, and the problem certainly isn't people who are reasonable, funny, and compassionate.

I think the only people who have an "easy time" are the ones who are satisfied with grabbing a beer with coworkers and talking about nothing in particular.

These days most of my friends are people I met online. Just people to goof off, collaborate, or talk about interesting subjects with. I'm too tired to really be social in person anymore. Constantly meeting people with little to no care or respect for me as a human being is worse than being alone. The world can come find me when it's ready.
 
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Sahara95

Sahara95

Member
I'm the same. I socialize at work but have no friends to go out with. I've only ever been out once at the clubs with people but that was over a year ago and I just turned 20. I enjoy my own company but do want friends. But I always seem not to want to hang out with them when they do ask. I can relate. Maybe join a club, sport or hobbie? But I can't talk coz I'm yet to do that!
 
Maura

Maura

Member
I feel you, I don't have a social life really, so I feel lonely, but at the same time when I'm around people specially new school mates etc. I just don't know what to say it's like I'm blocked or something, I'm quiet and enjoy being alone, some guys are always asking why so quiet. I would really like to have friends and not get nervous.. Just confident,
 
squidgee

squidgee

Well-known member
Yep, I often feel the same way. The best I can muster up is maybe a few acquaintances or study partners, but that's about it. Most of what we talk about is related to university work, and we don't really hang out outside of uni. They have their own social circles and I'm just kind of on the edge of it.
 
Sourgirl

Sourgirl

Member
Tallgeese said:
Almost 5 years ago, I made a post on this very issue but I just need somewhere to rant and for help.

I am now 22 year old and I haven't done much with my life. Anxiety and depression has crippled my motivation and ambition although I'm going back to school and am working.

These days however, I feel lonely and depressed. I'm naturally an introvert and prefer to be alone most of the times, although I do get urges to be social and go out. I have a handful of friends, most of whom hang out with other people I don't like or like to drink and go clubbing; activities which I prefer not to engage in. Most of the time I'm by myself, working and when I do go out I like to bike or go out to eat/watch a movie with a couple friends.

I started dating and lost my virginity this year. It didn';t end up well as I keep getting burned and flaked on by girls. I feel as if I'm too much of a nice guy and a bit clingy, but it's due to lack of experience which is understandable. I don't want to be tied down, but I feel like if I had a relationship, I'd be less lonely and would have somebody to spend time with. My confidence and motivation for girls has spiraled downhill ever since I've gotten essentially friendzoned 3 times in a row. I hesitate to even talk to girls or look them in the eye due to feelings of bitterness and mistrust. I know it'svery negative, but I just can't help it.

The thing is... I don't WANT a lot of friends, just people to hang out with more often I guess? I don't know why I feel this way; I like to be alone but feel lonely and depressed at times? Sometimes I'll get feelings of jealously towards others who have good social lives although I know they have a totally different personality than me...
Click to expand...

i know how you feel about friends. i don't want a lot of friends either, i just want 2 friends at the most
 
Z

Zooman

Well-known member
I don't even really care about having friends just to "hang out" if that means doing nothing. I think it would be fun to have friends if they were cool and fun people because then we could have a good time doing interesting stuff but as far as just being social to be social i find that really boring.
 
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NaomiV

NaomiV

Member
I have found that it's much easier to make friends by joining a group of like-minded individuals. I joined a support group at my college and met one of my closest friends. She died a couple months ago though, so ever since then I have been struggling with depression. After that, I joined a few Christian groups that had approached me and I made a close friend at one of them. Also, I go to a church where I have met some nice people and they aren't interested in clubbing either. I also joined a group of people who do arts and crafts like crocheting and sewing. I met a few people there too. Maybe you could try to figure out what kind of activities you enjoy and then join a group that does that.
 
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