I heard you can't fall off the floor...

...in which case, I'm safe.

My names Madison, I'm sixteen years old. I'll be seventeen on the twentieth of November.

At school and home people often take me as shy. In all actuality I'm far from shy. I can picture myself being the person I'd totally LOVE to be. But there's always this one thing that prevents me from being that person. I guess I'm trying to get over that or trying to find a way to deal with that. If nothing else, just so I won't be sitting at lunch alone smiling at people who apply authentic friendliness to me (like a bandage to a cut) out of worry that if I don't smile back they'll leave me behind totally. Attendez-moi!
Considering the thought of just posting on a forum scares me almost as much as talking to someone face to face, I think this might be a good place to start.

That said, Hey, what's crackalackin'?

I relate to this. I can visualize in my mind the person I want to be but there is always one more then that needs to happen before I can be that person. I'll need to finish a job to get away from those people to change, finish school, get away from this person, get away from that person, get to know this person, get to know that person, get a car, get an apartment first, get a girlfriend, dump a girlfriend, etc, etc.
I know the answer is to make a change right now, but I'm always waiting for a better moment which seems to be closing in, then theres another moment and another. I can't imagine changing myself right now. People would think i was being a phoney. People would think I am a poser, a wannabe. The people I live with wouldn't like me and I would have to move. My friends wuldn't like me. etc

Final fantasy

Well what you have just describe is called the invisable glass wall of anxiety.

Its amazing how many of us live a kind of double life. In our fantasies we are-the most romantic lovers-the toughest cowboys-the queen of the dance floor-and Mr/Mrs popularity.
In our fantasies we alwayse seem to have fame wealth and power. Ruling empires with all the might and glory that comes with it.

What I would like to know is what dose it all mean since its a reocuring day dream that turns on shortly after we awake.

Madison, you seem like a really cool guy to me. You express yourself well.
Look at it this way...it can be like hittin balls on a baseball field. With practice you'll keep hitting homeruns.
Keep it up your doing great!

AnxiousGuy said:

Madison, you seem like a really cool guy to me. You express yourself well.
Look at it this way...it can be like hittin balls on a baseball field. With practice you'll keep hitting homeruns.
Keep it up your doing great!

Click to expand...

I'm not a guy though...