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Old 08-24-2010  
KJC
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Default I don't know

I don't know

Last edited by KJC; 01-26-2011 at 03:16 PM..
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

Hey KJC, I also used to feel exactly the same way as you do and believe me I have read a good few of your posts and you have not managed to offend me yet.

I used to always seem to be able to bring out the worst in others as they were often offended by what I had to say. I, like you could not understand why this was happening. I spent a long time thinking about what I might be doing wrong and then realized that my thoughts were simply working too fast for my brain to process what to say and before I knew it what I meant and what I was saying were worlds apart.

I however learned how to slow the whole process down and things got a whole lot better from there. I now find that I am able to hold my own in any situation without offending anybody unintentionally.

I do not know if this is the same in your situation, but it might be something to consider. Often as sufferers of this disorder we are so consumed by our own thoughts and emotions that we forget to put what we are saying through the 'social acceptability filter'.

I feel we should all be allowed to speak our minds as we see things, but unfortunately this has not been the case in a long time. I feel if everyone spoke exactly what is in their minds, at least we would all know exactly where we stand and there would not be a need to wear masks, but unfortunately modern society does not work that way and certain thoughts are best kept to oneself.

Well I hope this makes some kind of sense and can be of some help to you. All the best and remember, if you genuinely have said nothing wrong, some people are also just full of nonsense.

Please feel free to read my Anxiety Story and let me know what you think.
We can Overcome Anxiety and Panic Naturally!
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

I've had people get literally mad at me because I refuse to talk on the phone, or on skype.

I've lost friends and girlfriends because of my inability to communicate.

It's just a fact of life for me, and I don't get upset about it anymore.

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"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness in other people"
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

i can't talk to people unless they're extremely friendly or i think they hate me so i try to pretend they're not there...
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

I just have nothing to say to most people. What really sucks is when I do find someone I like/want to talk to, and they don't reciprocate.
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

I've lost friends because I don't talk to them enough but I hate talking. My mind just blanks and I just have nothing to say, and people just ignores me.
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

I alienate people too. It's really painful. Do you have any idea of what things you said caused people to dislike you?
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

hi my name is jane elizabeth 39 yrs old and a gym instructor dont really know what the hell is happening to me am scared and confused i think i have social phobia and also avoidance issues only from this site do i now realise this it has taken me so long to find the courage to find someone to talk to about this feel like a complete twat
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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

Quote:
Originally Posted by KJC View Post
That is the only conclusion I can come up with. Everyone ends up hating me when I talk/type, even on the internet. I am amazed at my ability to alienate everyone who comes into contact with me. It's like a superpower, only unintentional. What's worse is that everyone thinks that it is intentional or that I am a complete idiot. Is there something I can do to figure out what normal people do? I mean, at this point I'd be willing to go all the way back and study real basic stuff on conversations. This insanity of everyone hating me has to stop, or I will never overcome social phobia.
Have you actually asked anyone what they think of you? I have and the feedback was 'I could tell that you were awkward but also that you were nice'. So, compliment aside that was a bit of a bummer, but she overlooked my awkwardness. It may be that the negative and anxious vibes you give off make them feel bad about themselves, that they can't connect or reach out to you. You could explain to people off the bat that you dont' mean to come across as rude or incosiderate, you really are not. You could tell them to remind you when you are like that and joke about it like.. ' here I go again I feel the idiot itch coming, I must..not..scratch'

By the by it does help to brush up on and solidify your basic social skills. Good foundations go a long way. Are there any adult classes around your way?

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Old 08-24-2010  
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Default Re: I just don't know how to talk to people

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Originally Posted by yumesa View Post
I've lost friends because I don't talk to them enough but I hate talking. My mind just blanks and I just have nothing to say, and people just ignores me.
i used to have lots of friends now i have ignored them so badly they dont call me any more i now have noone and i am miserable but if they call i still ignore them i cant win either way it seems am at a dead end need help but seems there isnt really any from my recent experience its going to be a long dark long road just as always
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