I just hate the fact that we have to work so bloody hard in this society to make ends meet.
I hate it so much that for now, I'd rather be unemployed and live with my father than financially independent.
Of course eventually I need to find a source of income, whether it's disability or welfare income, or job income, it's just very difficult for me, I've got a lot barriers.
I've had various menial jobs over the last 10 years, but it seems like I'm getting more sick of work as I go on, not less.
The last job I had was at the bottom of the barrel, the absolute lowest of the low, in terms of dignity, but at least it was asocial and fairly easy, but that's no longer an option for me anymore, really, unfortunately.
I have a lot of barriers besides performance anxiety, I'm indolent, unambitious and unmotivated when it comes to money, material things and even hedonistic pursuits, and I loathe the pace at which society moves, and how it not only demands you to do a satisfactory job, but to do it with a smile on your face, and to do it fast.
Everything's rush rush rush, with these people, makes me sick.
I've always been this way, always, since I was a boy.
I don't just blame myself, i'm full of anger and hostility for society, why can't these people just slow the frig down, why do they have to drink so much coffee, and sacrifice so much of their health/leisure for their job, it makes my blood boil?
Why must we compete so much with one another, we should be cooperating, why is the game of life rigged to frig the little guy in butt?
Oh, sometimes I have anti-establishment feelings and thoughts, I've done some criminal things in the past too, all because i loathe work.
My parents were too soft on me, they coddled me, did not prepare me for the work force, but i can't blame it all on them, i didn't prepare myself either, too busy procrastinating, playing video games and so on, youtube, mindless entertainment and impractical research.
I have few regrets though, at least at this point.
I should've been a little bit more like this or like that, but I'm glad i didn't end up a consumerist automaton (as I see it) like so many, and went my own way.
I'm just so full of hate, when it's not directed inward at myself in the form of shame, it's outward at society, with an impulse to destroy.
Can anyone else remotely relate to the feelings I'm experiencing and the life you've lead, because if you can't at all sympathize, i'm not even sure if i'm interested in talking to you, although maybe i should because that's how growth often happens, even if i ultimately end up disagreeing, it might help to know the perspective i'm disagreeing with, better.
I'm a minimalist, that will probably never change, i'm only interested in doing the bare minimum to get by in this world, and then using my free time to pursue my hobbies and interests, and live my life however i see fit, but lately i haven't even been doing that.
It's only a matter of time me and my father part ways as he and my mother are poor, and they can't afford to be helping me out forever.
I might even end up on the street if i can not find a job suitable to my personality or disability or whatever.
I hate it so much that for now, I'd rather be unemployed and live with my father than financially independent.
Of course eventually I need to find a source of income, whether it's disability or welfare income, or job income, it's just very difficult for me, I've got a lot barriers.
I've had various menial jobs over the last 10 years, but it seems like I'm getting more sick of work as I go on, not less.
The last job I had was at the bottom of the barrel, the absolute lowest of the low, in terms of dignity, but at least it was asocial and fairly easy, but that's no longer an option for me anymore, really, unfortunately.
I have a lot of barriers besides performance anxiety, I'm indolent, unambitious and unmotivated when it comes to money, material things and even hedonistic pursuits, and I loathe the pace at which society moves, and how it not only demands you to do a satisfactory job, but to do it with a smile on your face, and to do it fast.
Everything's rush rush rush, with these people, makes me sick.
I've always been this way, always, since I was a boy.
I don't just blame myself, i'm full of anger and hostility for society, why can't these people just slow the frig down, why do they have to drink so much coffee, and sacrifice so much of their health/leisure for their job, it makes my blood boil?
Why must we compete so much with one another, we should be cooperating, why is the game of life rigged to frig the little guy in butt?
Oh, sometimes I have anti-establishment feelings and thoughts, I've done some criminal things in the past too, all because i loathe work.
My parents were too soft on me, they coddled me, did not prepare me for the work force, but i can't blame it all on them, i didn't prepare myself either, too busy procrastinating, playing video games and so on, youtube, mindless entertainment and impractical research.
I have few regrets though, at least at this point.
I should've been a little bit more like this or like that, but I'm glad i didn't end up a consumerist automaton (as I see it) like so many, and went my own way.
I'm just so full of hate, when it's not directed inward at myself in the form of shame, it's outward at society, with an impulse to destroy.
Can anyone else remotely relate to the feelings I'm experiencing and the life you've lead, because if you can't at all sympathize, i'm not even sure if i'm interested in talking to you, although maybe i should because that's how growth often happens, even if i ultimately end up disagreeing, it might help to know the perspective i'm disagreeing with, better.
I'm a minimalist, that will probably never change, i'm only interested in doing the bare minimum to get by in this world, and then using my free time to pursue my hobbies and interests, and live my life however i see fit, but lately i haven't even been doing that.
It's only a matter of time me and my father part ways as he and my mother are poor, and they can't afford to be helping me out forever.
I might even end up on the street if i can not find a job suitable to my personality or disability or whatever.
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