NotAfraidJustBlah

Hello... Well yeah, I"m not just trying to be positive or bump our self-esteem.. I always just felt like, the point of TALKING really is just for MEETING people.

In reality, for long term relationships people actually rather have quiet people.

But the problem is that they think, "but if you're quiet, how can I meet you?? You won't come talk to me, and that puts pressure on ME to talk"

Really.. talking, and talkative people, only get to MEET more people, but then that same virtue that allows them to meet people makes them annoying as a long term day to day friend.

That's the irony, and catch-22, of being quiet.

So really, we shouldn't be worried about being quiet... we should be concerned with ways to meet people when you are quiet...

.. Oh, I should also add though... being quiet AND "boring" isn't that good either... But, quiet.. and then being somewhat interesting in that you actually DO things, is what people actually prefer. People like quiet friends who DO things (like, having a super quiet friend, but who has some cool thing they do that people find out later on and think, wow, interesting)

...

phocas

good post

gustavofring

For me that goes too. I don't like overly social and confident people. There's something about them that irks me. It's like they're too arrogant and think the world is in their hands somehow, disregarding everyone else.

Quieter people seem somehow more respectful, more in touch with themselves.

fitftw

I hate people that don't shut up. They usually have an annoying voice, too. I'd prefer everyone everywhere to be quiet actually, like a library.

Facebook

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness in other people"

surreyger

Good post. Im the same, im always more interested in the person who isnt saying much, as they tend to have the most to say. Quiet normaly isnt boring at all but people who talk nonstop bore me pretty quickly. Its just the initial bit of it being hard to get a convo either started or meeting another quiet person.

OceanMist

I judge people for who they are. Yes certain loud people can be annoying. Very quiet people can make me uncomfortable, at times, too. Ironically I am very quiet, lol.

I've only dated an outgoing girl before. Haven't had experience with the shy ladies with dating. I'd be interested to find out. Too bad I'm such a loser right now.

Anomaly

Darn.

Waybuloo

Maybe some people prefer quiet people, but I prefer talkative people who take the initiative, for friendship and for romantic encounters. It doesn't mean they have to be loud and overbearing. To me being talkative and loud are mutually exclusive.

Maybe that's why Johnny Depp is supposed to be a sex symbol.

ちひろ

pop-princess

Same here.

KevVversion1

The problem is that as animals we dont need to talk non-stop, but a lot of humans have evolved to talk just for the sake of talking, and it's got to a point where not talking is seen as a bad quality, as if these people lack social skills and therefore are not fit for work, I am offended by every job advert that implies this. In reality, you can easily get through life and most jobs by communicating very basic and short messages. There is no reason why anybody should feel obligated to make conversation just because they fear being branded quiet and boring, we have been letting talkative people get the better of us for years with them using words and social branding against us. Most talkative people fear quiet moments and silence, it makes them uncomfortable, they need to be constantly talking. If a talkative person tries to make conversation with me, in the past I would try desperatly to keep it going by pretending to be interested, saying things just because it was something to say etc etc. But then I realised, that is a mistake, the fact is that I am just uninterested in most things people have to say, therefore I dont listen properly and I dont relate to it, I dont enjoy conversations so why should I keep pretending? I have now got to a stage, in my mid 30's where I purposely give short answers and kill most conversations because I dont want them to get going and then can guage peoples reactions, this keeps me in control not the talkative person. This approach means you are not stuck with a whole bunch of people that talk to you because they think you are interested, they get the hint and leave you alone. You are then left with the people that actually accept you for how you are, and talking to them is not usually an ordeal or an effort. The key is not to beat yourself up and try and be one of these talkative people, thinking that is what you have to be to fit in. That is trying to be something you are not, and it will never work. The key to this whole social thing is just accepting that you are quiet and it is not a bad quality, and if anybody tries to question it then defend it! because that is who you are! if somebody implies that you are boring then just say something along the lines of "I'm not bored? and I'm not here to entertain anybody else" ... and then get on with what you're doing. Another thing I find is that people that talk about things, generally dont do much, they like to talk not do. Quiet people are the opposite, they dont talk about it they just go and do it. Talkative people in the real world are usually less productive than quiet people in the workplace in my experience. Actions speak louder than words! you gain respect for the things you do, not the things you say! Wow! i've just inspired myself to get out and do loads of things, and will enjoy not saying a damn word while I'm doing it!!