I need people's love to be happy, and it's killing me.

I wish I didn't have to be like this.

People either say 'Love yourself,' 'man up 'move on'

But I can't help it. I need the acceptance and love of others so bad. When people don't bother to reply I get angry, frustrated and sad. I take it so personally as I think if I was worth it, people would make time to get back to me. When I feel accepted by nice people, surrounded by a good group of friends, or feel wanted by a lovely lady.. I feel fantastic. But of course it hardly happens, and I spend a lot of time feel unwanted, alone and numb inside. No one else understand me, they've belonged, they've been accepted, they have company. My brain feels hot wired to the acceptance and love and others, I wish it didn't have to be this way.

I get obsessive with relationships, I want to avoid them but of course I can't stop the warm happy glow of possible love.

I've not had a proper family, or any solid friendships. I have such a big heart it's killing me being alone. I do try to have hobbies as others have suggested, but I work all the time.

Thank you for posting this, this is exactly how I feel I just never knew how to explain it. I find I can't be alone because when I am I'm full of anxiety and depressed. But when I'm with my life coach or friend I feel a lot better. Believe me I would like a girlfriend but I'm not going to rush into that because I get clingy real fast. It's hard to understand this kind of stuff.

Is that really an odd thing? Curious. Because it sounds perfectly reasonable to me to desire some sort of affection and acceptance. We're a social species after all. We're very much defined by our relationships and egos. I feel phrases like 'get over it' (in this context) are uttered almost exclusively by people who have their social needs met already.

Misery seeks company, but sometimes so does fortune.

I just thought it was an odd thing as people have always picked me on for being so sensitive. So many people just forget about me or don't talk to me anymore, and when I explain I'm upset, they think I'm mad or clingy.

Hero said:

I just thought it was an odd thing as people have always picked me on for being so sensitive. So many people just forget about me or don't talk to me anymore, and when I explain I'm upset, they think I'm mad or clingy.

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I understand that, I'm extremely sensitive the slightest of things can cause me to have anxiety. I know I'm clingy, I try not to but it's tough.

I usually feel the exact same way.

It's also interesting what dannyboy said about trying not to be clingy. I think one of my problems is that I try too hard to hide my clinginess, and end up going in the opposite direction, coming across as cold and distant.

I think it's less about just "manning up" and more about having an identity separate from other people's view of you. At this point I think you're one of those people whose feelings are dictated by the acceptance or rejection of other individuals, and there's no freedom in that.

It's taken me a long time, but realizing that I will never experience real social acceptance has allowed me to start developing an identity away from others after a long, dark period. I couldn't just be sad forever, even if it still hurts to look at people who have what seems to be everything when they've done nothing except exist to earn it. It's allowed me to start getting to know myself beyond what I am to other people and the identity I (don't) have in groups and other social settings, as a person with spiritual and creative purposes.

Nothing magical, but at least it's something that's mine.

People say all sorts of abstract BS. Everyone needs some level of validation. I think you are human and you are just fine. :thumbup:

PS: I did not mean to undermine your situation. Sometimes I word things in a way that comes across a lot more abrasive than intended. I relate with your post and I think your feelings are pretty normal.

YES. Your post is literally my life. That's EXACTLY how I feel 24/7. Thank you for posting. You are not alone.

These words couldn't explain easily in words. When I was in 22 years old, I just thought like that, & was in same condition... Good luck for the best time.

I have the same co-dependency issues. I just lost a man I loved over this, thought I was too clingy... I've told myself I'm not having a relationship until I overcome this, it'll just keep happening otherwise. Let's hope I'm strong enough >.< honestly I'll go out with any awful person just to feel loved!

I feel I need peoples love to be happy, I also crave peoples respect and for them to like me. I crave to be desired by the opposite sex. I want all these things from people but being around people drains my energy, raises my anxiety and makes me desire my own company if I spend too much time with people. This makes achieving these desires nearly impossible for me. But being alone for too long depresses me also, I feel like a failure and I feel lonely, I will start to loathe myself because there must be something wrong with me if I have no girlfriend and no friends in my life. Its a real catch 22.
My life would be perfect If I could spend most of my time on my own doing the things I like doing without stress and anxiety and then once a week go out with my mates or girlfriend and they would all be so pleased to see me. But I know that friends soon loose interest or forget about you if you don't hang out with them all the time and no girl wants a relationship once a week. The problem I have is if I hang out with people too much I run out of things to say and get exhausted and then they don't like that side of me either.
Don't know how to win sometimes!!!!!

tinker is right i feel this way to