I need some advice...

It happened again.

I was at the gym doing my own thing when an attractive woman caught my eye. I've seen her before but we've never talked. We exchanged some awkward smiles as we passed each other. Shortly after, she approached me and introduced herself. I tried to make some conversation but that feeling of anxiety started creeping in yet again. It got to the point where I actually had to walk away. It wasn't completely awkward but awkward enough. I felt like a complete ****. As I went on with my routine, I had this sudden realization. "I'm going to be like this forever..."

I'm 30 years old and this is something I've struggled with all of my adult life. For whatever reason, my brain simply shuts down in situations like this. Fear is all I know. I continue to watch people around me moving on and getting married while I'm starting to feel more hopeless about my future then ever before. What is it inside that makes me so afraid to open up? I just don't know anymore.

My normal routine would be to sit around and just wallow in self pity but honestly... I'm so so tired of that.

I need some advice. I want so badly to overcome these fears. I want to experience the same happiness of those around me. In a nutshell, I just want to be me for once.

Turn your anxiety into an advantage and simply tell her "sorry if I seem a bit off, anxiety sometimes gets the best of me, and a pretty girl can easily be a trigger". By using your own anxiety as the source for a joke, not only are you using it as a flirting mechanism, but you're also removing the anxiety's power to influence you negatively.

Easier said than done, obviously, but it's probably worth a shot. You say you want to be yourself. Well, anxiety is a part of who you are.

Well she approached you so thats a good sign. Use that thought to give yourself a little boost in confidence. You must look approachable. Dont put too much weight on the success or failure of these interactions or you'll freak yourself out.

The best thing I read is that you are tired of feeling like you do.

It means you are ready to fight back against SA and retake some of that ground you've lost to it.
Accept you'll still have good and bad days.
Accept no one is perfect.
Seek and accept professional help.
Lastly, accept you'll probably always have SA to some degree.
The key is to not let it run/ruin your life.

Find who you are and find happiness within your own space.
Good luck

Sacrament said:

Turn your anxiety into an advantage and simply tell her "sorry if I seem a bit off, anxiety sometimes gets the best of me, and a pretty girl can easily be a trigger". By using your own anxiety as the source for a joke, not only are you using it as a flirting mechanism, but you're also removing the anxiety's power to influence you negatively.

Easier said than done, obviously, but it's probably worth a shot. You say you want to be yourself. Well, anxiety is a part of who you are.

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I think this is good advice. To add to it, I would say, stop "trying" to be yourself. Don't stop trying as a person, but in a situation like this just accept who you are and run with it. I know this is going to be easier said then done, but try not to be so aware of yourself. You may be awkward - totally ok. Some girls actually find that cute or alluring. I think if you can find a way to accept who you and realize you got plenty to offer, things may get a little easier.

Something similar happened to me many years ago I guess in my late twenties. I was going to this gym. Most of the time I had my earphones on listening to music and just doing my stuff. I must have given this vibe of a cool guy. There was this very attractive blonde checking me out ever since the beginning. When she one day saw me on a treadmill she just rushed to the one next to me and just started a conversation. I now remember talking about something in a manner that showed I have an obsessive personality. You know how girls react at the slightest sign of creepiness. I was also really anxious. She completely ignored me after that awkward conversation

Funny thing is no matter how much I am aware of it I am still and obsessive guy with an anxious personality. I wish I knew a way to overcome my shortcomings.