I never get invited ANYWHERE.

About two weeks ago I was invited to attend my aunt's birthday bash in another town at a hotel in April. Will I go? Haha. Not a chance. Her heart is in the right place though. Being an agoraphobic like I am places such occasions on a hard to reach pedestal for me. Bless her for trying. Other than that once in a blue moon invite, I don't get asked anywhere. People have given up trying to get me out the door.
 

HeadFace

Well-known member
Wow this resonates with me deeply. I have best friend- "so called", who says things like "come on it's me,you can tell me anything." or " i hope you would tell me this or that, or talk to me before so and so seen as i am your best friend." But she never calls- only texts. if i call her it's like, "what's wrong?" I didn't think i needed an excuse!
On the times I leave the ball in her court it has been known for maybe a few days to go by and i get a text saying, "you not been in touch with me- it really hurts me you are "supposedly" my best friend!" But as I point out, i have said you never contact me either. You know I am here for you. All she says is- you shouldn't need me to come to you! You know last week- blah blah blah..i was feeling down. But the truth is often i ask after her and for example, i did on Thursday night- text and email- NOTHING back. But I did hear back, when i stupidlt accidentally text her instead of someone else.All I got was- "Sounds like an interesting text- Not!" Then nothing since- what is her problem?! Some days I wanna pick up the phone and say that. But like right now I know she got struff going on, so i would be asked how dare i be like that when she is stressed. But point is when she is- I get ignored if i ask after her, and get in trouble if i don't get in touch! Why should I chase her? Sorry guys..can feel my blood boiling...
Yeah. I can see how we relate. Right now me and my friend aren't actually talking. Maybe you should just start finding other friends. Yeah, it sounds hard only because most of us here are shy as hell, but its the truth. A lot of times people just cling on to one person even if that person is rude or mean, just because that person is the only person they have left.
Woman are strange creatures. I've given up trying to understand them, lol. ::p:
I think I have too. -.-
 

JamesSmith

Well-known member
No. You dont get it at all, trust me. I always invite her places, and she knows Im comfortable with her friends.

And again you arent getting it. We're supposedly close, and we have deep conversations and goto each other when we're depressed or have problems. But the last time I seen her was last month on my birthday (Jan 26). and that again was only for about 50 minutes. Before that? Some time in early December. Before that? I can't even recall. So I'm not depending on her all the ****ing time. I expect her to at least hang out with my often, instead of these like, two month-gaps. I mean, at least once or twice a month. We live in the same ****ing neighborhood, she doesnt even have a legitamate excuse.

Actions speak louder than words a lot of the time. Her actions are telling me that she isn't a great friend. I don't care how deep your conversations are, if she is giving you two-month gaps to when she actually sees you in person, then she is not close to you.

Sometimes you have to take a signal, and her signal is loud and clear that you are not a priority in her life. I'm sorry I have to put it to you like that, but I'm trying to help you understand people's actions.

Look, no I don't know her personally, but I do know that she's not a close friend to you by what you've described. I highly advise that you try to find other people to hang out with. If you had other people to hang out with and were hanging out with them, you wouldn't be so upset.
 

HeadFace

Well-known member
Actions speak louder than words a lot of the time. Her actions are telling me that she isn't a great friend. I don't care how deep your conversations are, if she is giving you two-month gaps to when she actually sees you in person, then she is not close to you.

Sometimes you have to take a signal, and her signal is loud and clear that you are not a priority in her life. I'm sorry I have to put it to you like that, but I'm trying to help you understand people's actions.

Look, no I don't know her personally, but I do know that she's not a close friend to you by what you've described. I highly advise that you try to find other people to hang out with. If you had other people to hang out with and were hanging out with them, you wouldn't be so upset.

No actually, you're right. For a while I have been thinking about a lot of that, and what you're talking about. I've been talking to a couple of other people, and mostly staying away from her. But it's confusing and frusterating. She keeps coming back to talk to me for some reason, and I don't know why.
Another awkward thing is that the few people I talk to, are in her "circle" of friends. So if I want to hang out with them, there's just going to be that person.
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
And again you arent getting it. We're supposedly close, and we have deep conversations and goto each other when we're depressed or have problems. But the last time I seen her was last month on my birthday (Jan 26). and that again was only for about 50 minutes. Before that? Some time in early December. Before that? I can't even recall. So I'm not depending on her all the ****ing time. I expect her to at least hang out with my often, instead of these like, two month-gaps. I mean, at least once or twice a month. We live in the same ****ing neighborhood, she doesnt even have a legitamate excuse.[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure what to say other than i'm in a similar situation because my "best friend" lives a mile away and we see each other once a month. We barely text also. Our conversations seem kinda awkward even though i have known her for several years.... ::(:
 

HeadFace

Well-known member
I'm not sure what to say other than i'm in a similar situation because my "best friend" lives a mile away and we see each other once a month. We barely text also. Our conversations seem kinda awkward even though i have known her for several years.... ::(:

You might want to consider... Just dropping her title of "best friend" if its getting awkward. Thought, that is very sad. Maybe (and I'm not assuming) if you are being clingy, just wait for them to text/talk to you instead of you running up to them. I'm not assuming, I'm just saying sometimes it helps you realize who youre real friends are.
 
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