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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

You're not alone, I have the exact same problem and I've lost all of my friends because of it. And now if someone starts getting too close to me (anything beyond being an acquaintance) I get rid of them too. The worst thing is that they think they must've done something wrong, but it's not their fault; it's mine. I feel too vulnerable and I don't trust them at all, so I push them away.
I think it stems from some serious trust issues and an overwhelming fear of being hurt.

Girls that glitter love the dark.

"They make it looks so easy, connecting with another human being. It's like no one told them it's the hardest thing in the world." - DEXTER

learn to bloom by =agnes-cecile
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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

I'm new here but thought I would chime in. I do the exact same thing and I'm not sure why. I think it has to do with me thinking they don't actually like me or maybe that they think I'm a joke.

I have noticed that it's easier to see Im doing it the older I get. I have a big problem with randomly appearing like I don't care or like I'm uninterested in what someone close to me is talking about, for example. I KNOW when I'm doing it but I can't seem to stop it.

I realize what I'm saying isn't much help but at least I wanted you to know that you're not alone.

We'll figure this out.
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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

^ Hey welcome to SPW, MtBikeDude. (Mountain biking, awesome.)

It took me a while to figure this out, but as the years rolled by, and it became a pattern for me to break up with my boyfriend about 18 months in, I had to start asking myself what the common factor in these breakups was, and of course it was me.

I think it's because I find it so exhausting trying to be what I think he wants me to be, that the stress and weariness become this huge weight bearing me down, and I crumble.

(True also of platonic friendships, if to a lesser extent.)
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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flowers-Of-Bloom View Post
overwhelming fear of being hurt.
And the certainty that it will happen.
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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

I have pushed people away, too, even though I wasn't even trying to. My behavior is what tends to do it.

"Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive, and not after he is dead."
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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

WTF. Sounds like me. I decided a long time ago that having friends and all is a waste of time. I am hostile from the beginning when I meet someone new. And continue that. It has damaged my life in more ways I can count. I'm trying to stop it, but it's very hard to do. Very hard! Anyway, long story short, I know what it is. Trust me! lol
Anyway, didn't mean to rant or take over your thread.

The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument, “It came from God.”/Why would God give different people in different countries a different numbers of different rights? Boredom? Amusement? Bad arithmetic? Do we find out at long last after all this time that God is weak in math skills? Doesn’t sound like divine planning to me. Sounds more like human planning . Sounds more like one group trying to control another group. In other words…business as usual in America.
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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

But why do you push them away? You are too scared to be pushed away by them? And therefore you end the relationship earlier so you can't be hurt. I think that's just your self-defense. What you have to learn is not to be scared of being close.

I had and actually still have this problem. But not with friends and family. Relationships. Big issue for me.
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Old 12-06-2011  
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Default Re: I push everyone away! Whats wrong with me?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aletheia View Post

I think it's because I find it so exhausting trying to be what I think he wants me to be, that the stress and weariness become this huge weight bearing me down, and I crumble.
I have a tendency to do that too. I've had to learn to be a little bit selfish in a relationship, for the sake of the relationship itself.
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