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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default I want to go to jail.

I feel like an animal because of my thoughts. I want to be contained so I have no fear of harming others. I am utterly disgusted with society and their apathy to help people like me. I have been house-bound for months now, spending most of my time in bed. I am sick of dealing with intrusive thoughts, so I am locking myself inside to feel safe.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

I used to dream of being locked in a room, eating from a tray slid under the door or through a slot. It was the "perfect" extrapolation of my actual state of social isolation. Then there is the fantasy of being shot into space. But isolation can never be absolute in the actual world. Think about those violent thoughts. Are they justified? Or are they sickening thoughts of self-hatred which you project onto the world? Talk to me.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

As much as I hate myself, excluding myself from society will further make everything worst and in the end; will be my doom. /wrist

Last edited by Nack; 05-07-2010 at 06:36 AM..
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

Well then, make a bomb threat to a police station then tell them where you live.

Or commit yourself to an asylum?
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

I'm thinking I may need to check myself into a Mental Hospital soon.

To the first poster: i'm completely obsessed with thoughts of little kids and I fear I am a pedophile. It's really the last thing I want to be. I look at pictures of little girls on the internet (clothed) every day to try and convince myself I am not a pedo. I really don't enjoy the thoughts at all, but if I do find myself finding some sexual interest in a picture my mind is instantly flooded with fear. I am literally unable to smile or carry on with life until I convince myself that I don't find the picture appealing at all. I feel I am unable to breathe in public. I constantly fear I will suddenly reach out and grab a child. I don't enjoy anything in life because I am constantly punishing myself. To make matters worse, I am determined to prove I can be a moral person without God. I was raised a Christian, but everything about Christianity disgusts me. I hate how other people try to brainwash others. I hate how society is so dependant on God. I hate the idea of anyone that doesn't believe in Jesus will go to hell. I think I am going to hell.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

Quote:
Originally Posted by frogger View Post
I'm thinking I may need to check myself into a Mental Hospital soon.

To the first poster: i'm completely obsessed with thoughts of little kids and I fear I am a pedophile. It's really the last thing I want to be. I look at pictures of little girls on the internet (clothed) every day to try and convince myself I am not a pedo. I really don't enjoy the thoughts at all, but if I do find myself finding some sexual interest in a picture my mind is instantly flooded with fear. I am literally unable to smile or carry on with life until I convince myself that I don't find the picture appealing at all. I feel I am unable to breathe in public. I constantly fear I will suddenly reach out and grab a child. I don't enjoy anything in life because I am constantly punishing myself. To make matters worse, I am determined to prove I can be a moral person without God. I was raised a Christian, but everything about Christianity disgusts me. I hate how other people try to brainwash others. I hate how society is so dependant on God. I hate the idea of anyone that doesn't believe in Jesus will go to hell. I think I am going to hell.
Ahh....commit yourself please.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

maybe you feel yourself to be emotionally-sexually immature and desire the company of those you feel are as immature as you? go to a counselor or psychiatrist and force yourself to talk about these things with the greatest openness and rationality. Realize you have no desire to hurt or abuse. sort these things out. i happen to be an athiest and believe that humanity is capable of providing its own moral compass.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

It's not that secretlyawesome. I definitely don't desire the company of children. In fact, I can't wait to get home to be by myself when i'm out and the thoughts enter my mind.
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

frogger, u know this is typical OCD?
it'll be to late if u put urself in an asylum..
I'd say talk with a psych..
my brother had serious issues with giving someone a disease and he kept away.. but he did some results and they came back clean, he is apsoultey fine now(saw his thoughts were irratinal)
me i was a wash-aholic, scared of everyone, that somehthng would ruin me, i took my dirty hands and rubbed them all over my face, im not as kind as u r being worried about other ppl..
so u cant just spend time with children and see nothing will happen cuz u arent under any meds(cuz u would not be this sever if u were) and ud need tp plan it out wiht a psych, but beieve me u can win OCD.. trust me.. i might have had an aodlescne tocd tendencie.. but still OCD is mostly treatable..
CBT.. facing ur fears, then ur brain will see there is nothing to fear about..
if u got under some good meds and a good psychiatrist u could rly get better and see that its just irratinal thinking, it has to do wiht low serootonin levels in ur brain, look it up.. it's a mental disease in which u make irrational thoughts, ur def not a pedophile, would a pedophile give a damn?
and im kinda becomeing agnostic, and a lot of ppl are good ppl w/o god.. it
s kind of the way it needs to be for the world to work..so dont worry about god..
dont even start thinking that u have darained form gods ways cuz u dont believe in him and thats why ur a pedo.. ur not
Question: do u see a kid and then get scareed ll hurt ait and maybe aroused.. cuz pedo's.. there immediately arroused.. u first get the thought u could get arroused, think about it
and dont take other ppl's comments to seriously, ppl dont know what it's like
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Old 05-07-2010  
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Default Re: I want to go to jail.

Locking yourself in your home will make things worse for you... Are you in therapy? If you aren't yet, why don't you try it? Those things can be treated.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein
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