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- Thread starter wintersun
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redlady
Well-known member
Hi wintersun and welcome
I don't know what else to say other than to talk to your friend about what you are feeling. I know you said that is too hard but perhaps you could email her or send her a letter. What kind of person is she ? Is she someone who is is likely to understand ? Who will be there for you ?
shes awesome..im afraid im gonna lose her, she will understand, especially about breaking up with her...
redlady
Well-known member
Tell her what you wrote in your post here - or similar to. You have been feeling depressed and you have found it hard to keep in contact because of these feelings. Explain to her about your everyday life so then at least you will not feel angry towards her for not understanding - that should alleviate your hurt feelings ?
shy_miss_fly
Well-known member
Hi wintersun,
Im sort of in the same situation as you. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and told him that its better if we should be friends. So about after a month of not talking, we chatted on msn and he asked me if I wanted to go for dinner as friends. And I said no and made up some excuse but really it was because of my anxiety. And i think he was really hurt because I said that we were going to be friends and now we arent. I really do want to be friends though, I just cant handle seeing him, I think i would be too nervous and anxious. I want to tell him everything about my SA and how I feel, but Im scarde what he would think and how he would handle it. Its weird because I want to see him so bad and talk to him but Im just to scarde.
Sorry I have no advice, I just wanted to share my situation with you.
Im sort of in the same situation as you. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and told him that its better if we should be friends. So about after a month of not talking, we chatted on msn and he asked me if I wanted to go for dinner as friends. And I said no and made up some excuse but really it was because of my anxiety. And i think he was really hurt because I said that we were going to be friends and now we arent. I really do want to be friends though, I just cant handle seeing him, I think i would be too nervous and anxious. I want to tell him everything about my SA and how I feel, but Im scarde what he would think and how he would handle it. Its weird because I want to see him so bad and talk to him but Im just to scarde.
Sorry I have no advice, I just wanted to share my situation with you.
Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
hey there, my heart hurts reading your post. but coming out of a serious relationship, i might can share some advice.
me and my ex tried staying best friends, then just friends, and now we don't see each other at all. it's deffinately a grieving process because for three years he was my life. literally. then POOF all gone. to nothing. but in the end it's better for the both of us just because it hurts to see each other.
if nothing else, just give it time. emotions take a long time to settle. grab some space away from her... she should understand.
best of luck
me and my ex tried staying best friends, then just friends, and now we don't see each other at all. it's deffinately a grieving process because for three years he was my life. literally. then POOF all gone. to nothing. but in the end it's better for the both of us just because it hurts to see each other.
if nothing else, just give it time. emotions take a long time to settle. grab some space away from her... she should understand.
best of luck
lets see if i can share some of my infinite wisdom with you... since.. well, long story short i have an ex becuase oy anxiety problems also. Except i was engaged to mine.
But you say that you think she won't understand. Well you'd have to let her be the judge of that. If you do want to be friends with her. You have to put your feeligns on the line. It may not be pretty. But friendships work cause your open with each other. (for the most part. some people are happy never really talking to your friend. but you miss out on so many things)
A lot of things I read from your article. Was a lot of assuming. You assume this. You assume that. Don't do that. It's not that easy. Trust me. I do it all the time without realizing it. But between you and me. That's what caused a lot of my anxiety. And paranoia. Let alone trust issues. what you need to do is get some concrete proof of things. Not assumption. Assumption is like ninetenth fallable. Or something like that. A good thing for anxiety is to talk to people. Expecially loved ones. If they truly love you, they will understand. If not... well f'em.
But you say that you think she won't understand. Well you'd have to let her be the judge of that. If you do want to be friends with her. You have to put your feeligns on the line. It may not be pretty. But friendships work cause your open with each other. (for the most part. some people are happy never really talking to your friend. but you miss out on so many things)
A lot of things I read from your article. Was a lot of assuming. You assume this. You assume that. Don't do that. It's not that easy. Trust me. I do it all the time without realizing it. But between you and me. That's what caused a lot of my anxiety. And paranoia. Let alone trust issues. what you need to do is get some concrete proof of things. Not assumption. Assumption is like ninetenth fallable. Or something like that. A good thing for anxiety is to talk to people. Expecially loved ones. If they truly love you, they will understand. If not... well f'em.
wintersun
Member
Chilling__Echo said:
i have, its been 6 months since ive actually had a conversation with her, and that space hasnt helped at all..just made things alot worse.
im thinking of writing an email later...should i?? shouldn't i??
could that possibly make it worse?
maybe i should just say the feelings...what do i have to lose, i feel ive lost her now anway
most things like this. Should be done atleast with a phone. Kinda personal. But if you can't get the courage to call her see her. then go for the email. it's best to say things, then regret not saying things. But just be prepared for the worse. It may or may not happen. your email could strengthen your friendship.
wintersun
Member
ok, ill do an email
one other thing, do you think its kinda corny writing all these feelings that i will write in the email? i mean, if i say all the stuff, what good will it do anyway?? she wont be able to do anything about it...
she'll just read it and will either think... wtf - just being confused out of the whole situation or feel sypathetic i guess
one other thing, do you think its kinda corny writing all these feelings that i will write in the email? i mean, if i say all the stuff, what good will it do anyway?? she wont be able to do anything about it...
she'll just read it and will either think... wtf - just being confused out of the whole situation or feel sypathetic i guess