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Old 01-04-2009  
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Default I'm falling for this guy and I don't know what to do...

I'm a guy and i've been having feelings for this other guy at my school named Tanner. The more I try to turn the feelings off the more I find attractive about him. From his hair to his eyes to his smile. As a matter infact I had two dreams about him last night 8O (they were good by the way ) I've liked girls in the past but lately all I can think about is guys. Tanner in particular. There's some problems with me liking him though.

I've known him since middle school and we're not best friends but we know each other to a certain level where if we see each other we'll talk. His brother Jordan is gay so I know he's not a homophobe but I don't want to tell him how I feel because comeing out in highschool is like the worst possible time to come out because there are so many homophobes in school i'll never live it down and i'm already trying to make more friends and i'll kill my chances if I come out because all people will see in me is that i'm gay and nothing else which is sad. I don't know why people care so much. Someone's sexual orientation is not that big of a deal. Gay guys are humans just like straight guys and lesbian woman are the same as straight woman. The only difference is who we choose to love. It's not like one day we wake up and says "Hey, i'm gonna be gay or i'm gonna be a lesbian" The feelings just come to you and don't even get me started on all the stupid stereotypes.

But back on topic the other problem I have is that my family is a Christian family so telling them is a big no no. I've been praying and stuff and I just don't see why God would not like the same sex loveng each other. What's the problem with it? It's not just about having sex with that person you fall in love with the person too. Tanner is such an awesome, handsome guy and I just want to be with him and be loved by him. I don't know what do you guys think about all this? (sorry this was a little long 8) )
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Old 01-04-2009  
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Old 01-04-2009  
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blah blahblahblahblah

b%&#
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Old 01-04-2009  
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Tell him if you can, if not then you'll just have to live with these feelings I'm afraid. About your family, I wouldn't tell since they are devout Christians. If they ask, then say.

Hey, answer his question you others! Don't act stupid.. :x

Walk backwards into the future...
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Old 01-04-2009  
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I don't think you should tell him, as most likely it wouldn't work out well. If I were you, I'd only tell him if knew he felt the same way. You should probably just keep your feelings to yourself until you finish high school. Sorry my message isn't more encouraging... and as for telling your family, you don't need to yet... you're still young, wait until you're more certain about your feelings.
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Old 01-04-2009  
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I'm not necessarily more homophobic than your next guy but if a guy came out of the closet for me i'd never talk to him again and would just be disgusted
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Old 01-04-2009  
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It's high school. Most high school kids are idiots whose main goal in life is to put down others. They will try to feel better about themselves by making you their punching bag if you give them any opening. You're probably right to be afraid to let word get around school. Wait for college.

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Originally Posted by Ventilotwo
I'm not necessarily more homophobic than your next guy but if a guy came out of the closet for me i'd never talk to him again and would just be disgusted
This is of course homophobic, but it's also very typical of high school kids.

Personally, I'd be flattered despite not reciprocating... but I'm not in high school.

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."
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Old 01-04-2009  
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Aside from the fact that i'm not a highschool kid. My response is typical of all guys, it's sad but true. It's what 98% of guys will respond with although not many will admit it prior to this.
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Old 01-04-2009  
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Speak for yourself ventriloone, I'd be flattered even though I'm stright, 98%? I doubt it

‘Nietzsche says there are two kinds of people in the world. People who are destined for greatness, like Walt Disney and Hitler and then there’s the rest of us. He called us, ‘the bungled and the botched.’ We get teased we sometimes get close to greatness, but we never get there. We’re the expendable masses. We get pushed in front of trains, take poison aspirin and get gunned down in Dairy Queens.’ The Fisher King
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Old 01-04-2009  
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Yea 98%.
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Old 01-04-2009  
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"It's high school. Most high school kids are idiots whose main goal in life is to put down others. They will try to feel better about themselves by making you their punching bag if you give them any opening. You're probably right to be afraid to let word get around school. Wait for college.

Ventilotwo wrote:
I'm not necessarily more homophobic than your next guy but if a guy came out of the closet for me i'd never talk to him again and would just be disgusted


This is of course homophobic, but it's also very typical of high school kids.

Personally, I'd be flattered despite not reciprocating... but I'm not in high school."

thanks guys for some of your responses. I think i'll keep my feelings to myself and your right highschool kids can be idiots. I'll probably wait till i'm out of highschool to come out that way I won't have to deal with those ignorant people. I still have strong feelings for him though but maybe for now i'll just try and be one of his good friends and the romantic feelings I have for him will go away in time. I need a good friend anyway and from what i've observed from him he's a nice guy so we'll see what happens
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Old 01-04-2009  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ventriloone
Aside from the fact that i'm not a highschool kid. My response is typical of all guys, it's sad but true. It's what 98% of guys will respond with although not many will admit it prior to this.
Welll it's happened to me once, I didn't feel disgusted at all. I'm not being politically correct or whatever just telling the truth. I dunno where you got ur your 98% statistic from! totally random is it?
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Old 01-04-2009  
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"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Mark Twain


‘Nietzsche says there are two kinds of people in the world. People who are destined for greatness, like Walt Disney and Hitler and then there’s the rest of us. He called us, ‘the bungled and the botched.’ We get teased we sometimes get close to greatness, but we never get there. We’re the expendable masses. We get pushed in front of trains, take poison aspirin and get gunned down in Dairy Queens.’ The Fisher King
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Old 01-04-2009  
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74.3 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."
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Old 01-04-2009  
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Old 01-05-2009  
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I'm thinking he's straight. That's what he says on his facebook page and I don't think i'll tell him that I like him more then a friend because as you say crushes fade away and I think I need a friend more then anything right now and I don't want to risjk loosing the friendship that we have.
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Old 01-10-2009  
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I'm a gay male and if I were you I wouldn't say anything. Like the previous poster said it would probably just turn into an awkward situation as everything you see him he'll think that you're checking him out and things like that (even though you probably are )

"Sentence fragment is also a sentence fragment!"
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Old 01-14-2009  
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yeah I check him out a lot lol but yeah I decided not to tell him. I don't want to risk loosing the friendship we have. I love him for his personality and from now on I guess when I have any sexual urges toward him i'll just have to go to the bathroom or my room and have my "Happy Time"
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