"...I'm not shy, I just don't like people..."

Social-E-Aukward

Well-known member
So, I've been thinking hard the last few months.

I've noticed that I don't have a problem associating with most ordinary people (here in meaning people that I don't have a strong emotional attachment to) when I really want to. I can actually get along well with most of my family most of the time.

I think the biggest factor in my social avoidance tendencies is the fact that I tend to just not like people. People disgust me... and I think that's horrible of me to think, but I still think it. :-\

I don't go out, because I'm so certain that I'll just be annoyed by nearly anyone. I'm awkward in most social situations because I'm not there by choice, so I just want to leave because I don't see any reason to be fake or friendly with people.

All this makes me feel like a very selfish and judgmental person...

Why hang out with someone if I don't get anything out of it?
Why should I put up with people when I don't HAVE to?

It's easy to just shut the door and be alone, right? Well... no, it's not easy. It sucks. I have a basic need for human interaction. That's why I get so sad when I lock myself away. I need people...

I'm scared that someone WILL find themselves attracted to me, not that someone won't. That probably sounds vain, but I don't think I'm particularly good looking. I've just had too many experiences with someone who I just liked as a friend deciding that they wanted more and didn't care what I felt anymore. That's a great way to destroy a friendship, btw. :(

I don't want drama, and whenever I associate myself with people, that's all that seems to come from it. Gossiping, lying, manipulation... and the people who act like they own me, or have some right to make my decisions for me. :mad:

I wonder if maybe I'm a weird one for frequently just disliking people. It seems most people who suffer from a social phobia want to be around people, but get scared or nervous... That only happens around my ex (who I'm still crazy about, btw), now-a-days... the rest of the time I tend to just hate humanity.
 

Madix

Well-known member
hmmmm...


I know how that feels. but the only way to accept people is to try. i mean if you dont like people its hard to get along with em right? you'll be okay, trust yourself.
 
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Kat

Well-known member
I can understand your dilemmas and reasoning’s. When you have been disappointed so many times it becomes natural to nitpick and prepare for the negatives to the point you’re not preparing for it, your mind makes it a reality identifying everyone in the same category you never get the peace you want. I do believe there’s something’s in life you never will like but even then I guess you have to make the most out of it, mix it up, find balance with activities you do like doing with people. It may remind you of the good things humanity is responsible for. Your happiness is more about your abilities than their inadequacies.
 

JamesSmith

Well-known member
I highly doubt you just don't like people. As humans we are designed to like people, much like you said in your post about we need people. So we are designed to like and need people. I think you may be choosing to dislike people now because people have hurt you in the past. It's a defense mechanism. It's a way you've learned to cope with your problem. I've done this before, and I'm sure many other shy people have. What I've learned is hating too many people gets you nowhere and makes you feel bad. I was just discussing in another thread how there are bad people in the world. But, the great thing is there are a lot of good people in the world. I have always been a shy hermit, but there was a group of 10 guys that took me in as their friend about 5 years ago. During this time with them I found out there are good people out there, and also that these good people have bad sides at times. Don't let people's bad sides make you judge them as a person. People aren't going to be perfect. Heck, I'm far from perfect so I would know.
 

Cynic

Well-known member
I think the biggest factor in my social avoidance tendencies is the fact that I tend to just not like people. People disgust me... and I think that's horrible of me to think, but I still think it. :-\
I understand where you're coming from, being quite misanthropic myself.

I don't want drama, and whenever I associate myself with people, that's all that seems to come from it. Gossiping, lying, manipulation... and the people who act like they own me, or have some right to make my decisions for me. :mad:
The cliche that "Hell is other people" is true.
 

The LostOne

Active member
Sounds like your in a pretty confusing situation as you generally dont like people but also realize your depressed because you need people in your life.

I agree 90% of people are idiots in my opinion too, but there are always a few amazing people out there that can really make a difference in your life. Try making an effort to give people more of a chance they might suprise you they might not.

Also make sure your not using the "I just dont like people" as an excuse for deeper insecurity issues you may have dealing with others.
 
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