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Old 03-09-2009  
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Default I'm sick of this ****ing bullshit

You know what? **** this I'm done. I'm so sick and tired of this ****ing stupid bullshit. Not being able to let my voice be heard and I can't ****ing do anything about it. This is bullshit, the whole world wants you to run a marathon with a broken ****ing leg. And I'm sorry I'm cursing so much if it offends anyone but I'm a little emotional right now, but it's not going to stop me. I'm tired of humanity, I'm tired of finding ways to cure myself, I'm tired of visiting this site. God help me plz, I call out to the universe for answers and get left with nothing but an empty soul and no purpose. I'm not a bad person, I'm really not, but this is the most twisted evil thing that a person can go through. It warps my mind, my soul, my essence and it drives me to the brink of insanity. Shit I'm even too embarassed to tell anyone I go through this. But sometimes I get to the point where I just wanna destroy the world and kill every man, woman and child in it. Even with all of this anger and hatred of society and mankind as a whole, I still can't bring myself to shout it out to the world and tell them how I really feel. I still don't know how I really feel. WHAT'S THE ****ING POINT, WHAT'S THE MESSAGE, WHY!?!?!? DAMNIT!!!WHY?!?!
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Old 03-09-2009  
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Default Re: I'm sick of this ****ing bullshit

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Originally Posted by Soulspectre View Post
You know what? **** this I'm done. I'm so sick and tired of this ****ing stupid bullshit. Not being able to let my voice be heard and I can't ****ing do anything about it. This is bullshit, the whole world wants you to run a marathon with a broken ****ing leg. And I'm sorry I'm cursing so much if it offends anyone but I'm a little emotional right now, but it's not going to stop me. I'm tired of humanity, I'm tired of finding ways to cure myself, I'm tired of visiting this site. God help me plz, I call out to the universe for answers and get left with nothing but an empty soul and no purpose. I'm not a bad person, I'm really not, but this is the most twisted evil thing that a person can go through. It warps my mind, my soul, my essence and it drives me to the brink of insanity. Shit I'm even too embarassed to tell anyone I go through this. But sometimes I get to the point where I just wanna destroy the world and kill every man, woman and child in it. Even with all of this anger and hatred of society and mankind as a whole, I still can't bring myself to shout it out to the world and tell them how I really feel. I still don't know how I really feel. WHAT'S THE ****ING POINT, WHAT'S THE MESSAGE, WHY!?!?!? DAMNIT!!!WHY?!?!
There is no point, unless you choose a point yourself.

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Old 03-09-2009  
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Default Re: I'm sick of this ****ing bullshit

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I came to the revelation that people with any kind of phobias deserve it. think about it. your being taxed for your lack of courage a consequence for being weak.
There is a reason for the "lack of courage." Someone who received negative feedback his/her entire life whenever he/she acted "courageously," develops a negative association with acting "courageously" which, without correction, leads to mental disorders, and suddenly the problem isn't so simple.

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Old 03-09-2009  
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Default Re: I'm sick of this ****ing bullshit

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who do you live your life for? u or other people? when u can genuinely answer the question it will become simple.
Care to explain?

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Old 03-09-2009  
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Default Re: I'm sick of this ****ing bullshit

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if everything u do u do backing yaself up 100%, feedback whether negative or positive would mean jack shit to u. feedback only matters to people who already doubt who they are to begin with. so they need outside validation. u will never be in control if somebody else posses how u feel about u. heres is the courage im talking about. the courage to be yourself if that makes any sense. I dont wanna preach tho.
Which leads right back to my previous post:

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Originally Posted by SickJoke
There is a reason for the "lack of courage." Someone who received negative feedback his/her entire life whenever he/she acted "courageously," develops a negative association with acting "courageously" which, without correction, leads to mental disorders, and suddenly the problem isn't so simple.
Feedback means EVERYTHING to a child. When a child is growing and receiving negative feedback, that has lifelong consequences. That leads to mental disorders. You can't effectively tell someone with SAD to "just be courageous!" in a similar way that you can't tell a schizophrenic to "just stop hallucinating!" It's more than that. It takes lots and lots of slow, patient, determined effort.

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Old 03-09-2009  
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Default Re: I'm sick of this ****ing bullshit

I used to be a very angry person. I think it was even part of the problem relating to people because you gotta be nice but when your brain is just sending you hate messages you got nothing to say because in reality they dont deserve it. For example they might say "hi how are you", i wanna say go f yourself but you cant do that so i just said nothing.

Something i think helped me out, you gotta try and switch off the anger. Like make it a rule that your anger isnt justified and dont let it come out. Im thinking maybe anger is just a cover up to avoid dealing with pain. I think i just had enough one day and decided that im not going to be angry anymore, enough is enough. After i did that i started to feel a lot of sadness and just crying at random stuff. Now i feel a hell more at peace with myself.

Just relating my person experiences, maybe it can help someone else.
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Old 03-09-2009  
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Default Re: I'm sick of this ****ing bullshit

I used to be very angry at everyone - especially my Dad and I was constantly frustrated and felt worn out by feeling I had to explain myself to everyone, try to fit in or prove my worth.

I was painfully shy at school and never had many friends or connected well with people, but what I did focus on was something I loved.

Mine was music and drawing - find something you LOVE (even if it's something others might deem stupid) and devote yourself to it.

Try to turn your anger into something positive by focusing on the thing you love.

I also kept a Journal and (sometimes with tears streaming down my face, or shouting at myself and the whole world) get EVERY thought in my head out into the journal the burn the Journal in a bin somewhere out in your backgarden when you know you'll be alone.

EVEN if the thoughts you have in your head TERRIFY you - and even if they involve doing harmful things, Get them out of you.

Even scribble, scrunch and throw or rip the pages if you have to.

I ended up with an aching wrist and was exhausted and completely spent emotionally as I pretty much wrote non-stop when I started, but by the end of the day (and with many pages filled) - I felt better

I know the above sounds like a lame exercise, but honestly, it helped me.

Afterwards, I took my journal outside when I would have some peace and quiet, lit it and watched as it burnt to ashes.

I felt cleansed in a way and glad I no longer had to carry all those angry or hateful thoughts about with me

You're not alone & I'm glad I joined this Forum - just being able to be with others who understand what we're going through is healing in itself.

Wishing you all the best


"Ships in the Harbour are safe.....but that's not what Ships were built for."
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Old 03-09-2009  
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Originally Posted by Chrysalis View Post
I used to be very angry at everyone - especially my Dad and I was constantly frustrated and felt worn out by feeling I had to explain myself to everyone, try to fit in or prove my worth.

I was painfully shy at school and never had many friends or connected well with people, but what I did focus on was something I loved.

Mine was music and drawing - find something you LOVE (even if it's something others might deem stupid) and devote yourself to it.

Try to turn your anger into something positive by focusing on the thing you love.

I also kept a Journal and (sometimes with tears streaming down my face, or shouting at myself and the whole world) get EVERY thought in my head out into the journal the burn the Journal in a bin somewhere out in your backgarden when you know you'll be alone.

EVEN if the thoughts you have in your head TERRIFY you - and even if they involve doing harmful things, Get them out of you.

Even scribble, scrunch and throw or rip the pages if you have to.

I ended up with an aching wrist and was exhausted and completely spent emotionally as I pretty much wrote non-stop when I started, but by the end of the day (and with many pages filled) - I felt better

I know the above sounds like a lame exercise, but honestly, it helped me.

Afterwards, I took my journal outside when I would have some peace and quiet, lit it and watched as it burnt to ashes.

I felt cleansed in a way and glad I no longer had to carry all those angry or hateful thoughts about with me

You're not alone & I'm glad I joined this Forum - just being able to be with others who understand what we're going through is healing in itself.

Wishing you all the best

Yeah I think finding something you like to do is the best answer, mines music too. Although not always a cure, atleast youre doing something you like.

But i definatley understand how you feel, i feel similar myself sometimes. But doing something you like is the best answer there is i think
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