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Old 01-07-2011  
Advanced User
 

Default Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

Fufrfrufjke

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Last edited by xxaimsxx; 06-08-2013 at 10:46 PM.. Reason: ERFEFFE
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Old 01-07-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

oh gosh, ((aims)) hugs!!

People can say really stupid things when they get scared, including parents!!
And parents can have EXPECTATIONS!!

Sorry to hear you got bullied and all that...

If it helps, I was REALLY miserable at 16, and thought my life would never get better, and then it DID get better!!

It sucks to be a teenager today I guess, with all the world economy crisis and stuff... And parents are afraid for their own and your future... (mine can be a bit like that too.. sometimes they can say things that can be insulting without even thinking?? and usually they forget all about it!! and are surprised if you mention it??)
I think they still love you but they have really funny ways of showing it!!

You can't expect magic from a site - YOU need to make a difference and change your life.. Have you tried reading any books - some might be helpful? Or the Step by Step program? (It was recommended here...)

Even if you are the problem (which is not necessarily), YOU are also the solution!!
There is often a bunch of factors involved.. from social and community factors, environment, the TV, the internet,... for anything, you are probably at most 1/15 (one fifteenth) to blame or so... (Especially if you're sorry and want to do better in the future...) You can LEARN from your mistakes, and maybe even help other people in your situation in the future... ((hugs))

I've done some mistakes in my life too, and felt really awful afterwards... for a few days or even months or years sometimes, it usually DID get better eventually, you need to work on it though!!

If you are distracted/forgetful/ADD about things (I sure can be too!! and yes I've forgotten a pot in a kitchen too!!) there are tricks and tips to remember stuff etc. And nutrition/lifestyle changes that can help.

Last edited by Feathers; 01-07-2011 at 09:07 PM..
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Old 01-07-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

I think it's that you're not moving fast enough for your mother. Is she the only one that is providing for you and your sister? It could be that she feels alot of pressure due to the position she is in. I've gone through it. She is wrong in taking her frustration out on you though. She just wants you to make some progress. Try and find a family therapist. Try to work on your self esteem and confidence. Try not to rely so much on others so much for reassurance. Believe that you are great because YOU believe it, not because some one else does. Good luck to you my friend.

Just trying my best...
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Old 01-07-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

First off, here is a cyber ~hug~. Secondly, if you ever want someone to just be there and listen, i can be that for you. You belong here and so sorry that people have made you feel like crap. Your energy feels very kind and i feel you do not deserve to be treated that way.
I hope you feel some kind of solace being on this site today.
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Old 01-07-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

Keep remembering that nobody is better than anybody else; we are all just people in this world. Start living your life from the inside out and NOT the other way around. I will echo what Sea Bass said and say seek reassurance from within yourself rather than looking outside for it. Your Real Power lies Inside not Outside.
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Old 01-07-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

Hang in there xxaimsxx. Just keep trying. Time, and when you can muster it, effort, will inevitably improve your situation. And if your family is able to treat you in such a way then it's not you, it's them. My father is like that, but my mother and sister are not (luckily).

In my case, I just turn the abuse into anger, rather than hurt, and vent it in my own time, be it through physical activity or imagining kicking his teeth in :P. You won't have to live with them forever, and there will definitely be someone who accepts you for you; it's just a matter of continuing to try to move forward with your life, as excruciatingly difficult as it can be at times.
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Old 01-08-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

Your mother probably loves you and is scared for you and has a poor way of showing it. I am sorry I have been there. I know you feel lost and hopeless.
But you are 17, life is just starting. I am not patronizing you I promise. But it is true. You are in a very impressionable time in your life and it sounds like you have been dealt some ****ty cards. But as hard as it may seem, it will get better, you have to find something for yourself. I say this on all the threads like this, I know. But I really think that it is true. It doesn't really matter what it is. Painting, reading, music, whatever. The others might be right saying to try to see someone about it. But if you can't just try to find something to hold on to.
Hang in there.
I care about you, and I am sure that others on here do to. Pm me if you need to I will always listen and try to help.

With your feet on the air,
and your head on the ground,
try this trick and spin it ,
but your head will collapse,
if there is nothing in it,
and you'll ask yourself,
Where is my mind?
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Old 01-08-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

If it helps any, I'm 26 and don't have any friends right now either. I'm also struggling through depression and anxiety. I did notice something you can change, and that is your self-esteem. Stop telling yourself you can't be loved or that nobody likes u. It's impossible for everyone to not like u, there are people who like serial killers for gosh sakes. I would advise joining a club or sport, something like that. I did that in high school and it went very well and I met some friends. Geez, that's depressing thinking about now have I have no friends, but back then I did.
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Old 01-08-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

Maybe you need to move out of home, find somewhere completely new where you don't know anyone. Then start afresh. Doing this in your situation is probably easier than a lot of people, because then you don't have to say goodbye to anyone or feel that you will miss certain people in your life. You might not find happiness in the first or even second place you move to, but keep searching and one day you will find a place where you will fit in and be able to make the most of life while you are there.
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Old 01-08-2011  
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Default Re: Im so alone. Im feeling the worst i have in my whole life right now.

I want to join those who have already sent you a HUGE cyber HUG!!!! (((HUGGG!!)))
You are so miserable and yet through all I read of what you have said, it is clear to me that you have a very good heart. Nobody should have to go through the cr#p you are and it hurts to the pit of your soul. However I have to say that I really like and agree with your signature; "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
I have always maintained that if I can't be true to myself then I am lost. I would always rather hold onto that than be another false face in the crowd.

I Cynic, Therefore I'm Not !!
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